Monthly Archives: October 2009

SVRG Dot.Kamikazes fall to Port City, 98-90

The Dot.Kamikazes put up a good fight at Port City last night, but came up just a few points short of victory. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make the bout and I didn’t have an onsite reporter for details. Here’s what I could glean from the post-bout chatter:

SVRG came into the bout with a bit of a disadvantage as the Dot.Kamikazes were down 2 of their jammers: Terribelle Demise was injured and Pia Mess had a last minute emergency. Thus, SVRG was without one of their strengths, a deep jammer bench. Given that the floor is particularly slippery, this meant an addtional challenge for the SVRG jammers, as they were also working hard all night to keep their speed while remaining upright. Port City demonstrated their hard hitting and solid jamming throughout the night, and the teams traded off advantage throughout the first half. At the end, SVRG had a slight lead, 53-51. Both teams rolled into in the second half ready to battle, but the Dot.Kamikazes gradually lost their wind, and Port City stayed strong and inched ahead, winning the bout by an 8-point margin.

If any attendees have details, please feel free to elaborate in the comments!

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Filed under Roller Derby, SVRG Bouts

SVRG Hits of ’09: Check out this video!

Check out this great set of clips of SVRG in action, some slammin’ hits and nasty spills, assembled by Cecil B. De Shill. The music you will recognize as our SVRG theme song by the Whiskey Avengers. Enjoy!

It’s all the more thrilling in person, so be sure to get your tickets to our last bout of the season on Nov. 14!

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THANK YOU! SVRG Skate-o-thon raises over $9,000!

DSC_0337

Friends, family, volunteers: what can we say. We are so thankful for your generosity. We were amazed by your outpouring of support. Thanks to you, we raised over $9,000 and will be able to maintain our schedule for the 2010 season. Here are some pictures and details from the Skate-o-thon in case you didn’t make it out to see us.

Far left: Costume contest winner Weavin' Kohl Bear as Cruella De Vil. Mid left: Bitch Puddin' was our #1 fundraiser as well as 2nd  in our costume contest. Two jobs very well done! Mid right: Fox tied Puddin' for the most contributors. Far right: CynTax garnered the largest donation to a single skater and also showed her jamming endurance as she skated the most laps.

Far left: Costume contest winner Weavin' Kohl Bear as Cruella De Vil. Mid left: Bitch Puddin' was our #1 fundraiser as well as 2nd in our costume contest. Two jobs very well done! Mid right: Fox tied Puddin' for top number of contributors. Far right: CynTax garnered the largest donation to a single skater and also showed her jamming endurance as she skated the most laps.

Top 5 fundraisers:
1. Bitch Puddin: an astounding $1,110!!!
2. Death by Dollface: $595
3. Retox Fox:  $571.20
4. Rot Wheels: $560
5. Pia Mess: $494.07

Honorable mentions at 6 & 7: Smack Dahlia $440 &  new recruit Jayanti $439.99
Most Pledges:
Bitch Puddin’ and Retox Fox: 18 each- tie
Death by Dollface: 15
Rot Wheels and Jayanti: 12 each- tie

Most Laps:

CynTax: 315 (that’s nearly 24 miles in 2 hours, folks!)

Death by Dollface: 276

LTO: 273

Rot Wheels: 268

Retox Fox: 262

And most importantly, Best Costume went to Weavin’ Kohl Bear, who came as Cruella de Vil, complete with a dalmation-decorated skate to tow. She narrowly defeated Bitch Puddin’s SVRG-colored lucha libre getup.

My personal favorite costumes, sported by two of our top fundraisers: Rot Wheels as a pregnant nun and Pia Mess as an American Gladiator.

My personal favorite costumes, sported by two of our top fundraisers: Rot Wheels as a pregnant nun and Pia Mess as an American Gladiator.

We would like to issue a special thank you to our top donors. #1 fundraiser Bitch Puddin’ wants to give an extra shout out to the patrons of Fred’s Place, Teskes, and Henry’s Hi-Life for their contributions. Thanks to CynTax’s employer, Sunol Valley Golf Club.  Thank you to Steve Wozniak for his continued support of the team as well as pledges that helped individual skaters reach their goals. And a  special thanks to our superfan Arcady, who came out to see us at the Skate-o-thon and pledged $400 right on the spot!!

Thank you, everyone, for helping the Silicon Valley Roller Girls keep skating!! Now, come see the fruits of your donations at our last home bout on November 14th!

Twins

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SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes to battle Port City in Stockton

Port City flyerFeeling like a road trip to Stockton? Come cheer on the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ Dot.Kamikazes as they take on the Port City Rough & Ready Betties at the Stockton Fairgrounds on Saturday, October 24. Doors open at 7. You can buy tickets at Brown Paper Tickets.

Be sure to wear your lime-neon-SVRG green and your SVRG gear, because Port City’s colors are emerald green, white, and black!

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Skater of the Month: Pia Mess

Photo credit: Adrian Valenzuela

Photo credit: Adrian Valenzuela

Pia Mess is a woman of many talents. She came to SVRG from Seattle’s Rat City Rollergirls (after a brief tenure with San Francisco’s ShEvil Dead) and has rocked our world as both player and coach. She is a terrifying blocker with the power to knock you on your ass and the agility to hover and cage you like an animal. She also frequently dons the jammer cap, and the combination of her speed, grace, and power often yields the highest scoring jams of the bout. Her wide-ranging talents on the track make her an effective coach, where her extensive experience helps cultivate SVRG’s strategies. She is also renowned for her killer endurance practices where many a Silicon Valley Roller Girl has fulfilled the motto, “Skate ’til you puke…and then keep skating.”

How did you get into roller derby?

I used to watch it on TV with my dad when I was around 6. Whenever anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say “a roller derby queen” (either that or a solid gold dancer). Here is a TV show they did about me.

What kind of skating skills or athletic abilities did you have before starting derby?

As for skating skills, I was just your average weekend rink rat. I did play soccer at a very high competitive level for about 32 years; I think that helped a lot.

How did you derive your derby name?

For the first 3 months of my derby career, I was actually “Jenna Taylia.”  But then I couldn’t figure out how I would explain that to my kids, so I came up with Pia Mess.

What is your primary position?

I think I play all positions equally well. [Ed. note: Truth! You should see this girl's stats!]

What is your greatest strength as a skater?

I bring 5 years experience, strategy, and track smarts. I am also good at playing mind games with competitors.

What is your favorite derby memory?

Winning Nationals with Rat City.

Pia skated with the Sockit Wenches and the Rat City All-Stars. Left, as a Sockit Wench (photo credit: Michael Coyote); right, as an All-Star (photo-credit: Joe Schwartz).

Pia skated with the Sockit Wenches and the Rat City All-Stars. Left, as a Sockit Wench (photo credit: Michael Coyote); right, as an All-Star (photo-credit: Joe Schwartz).

What kind of injuries have you incurred during your career?

I have dislocated my jaw twice. I have had one concussion, a torn PCL , lots of rink rash, and some of my SVRG teammates gave me a black eye.

Who are your favorite derby skaters?

A former league mate from Rat City, Carmen Getsome. She has mad skillz, determination, and athletisism. My other favorite is again a former Rat City teammate, Sassy Chassis. She is the nicest, happiest person I know.

Who’s your biggest fan?

I think I have 2. The first one is Lilly Lightning from the Seattle Derby Brats, and the second is my good friend Eric. [Ed. note: Pia is also the only SVRG skater with her own Facebook fan page.]

What’s your favorite thing about SVRG?

SVRG is like a second family to me.  I moved down here not knowing anyone and they were all sooo nice and so welcoming and took me under their wings. In turn, I kick their asses!  Derby Love :)

How do you spend the non-derby part of your life?

By day, I am a stay at home mom who runs a travel business out of my house. Need a vacation? I’ll hook you up!

Pia says farewell. Photo credit: Michael Coyote

Pia says farewell. Photo credit: Michael Coyote

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Support SVRG’s Skate-O-Thon!

Just a reminder…we are in the final days of collection for the SVRG Skate-O-Thon, scheduled for this coming Monday. We could really use your help in meeting our goals! We are trying to raise money to cover our travel expenses for our away games next season. You can read more about our efforts here.

You can pledge a per-lap donation to an individual skater by contacting her individually, or visit our homepage to donate via PayPal. Through PayPal, you can make a team donation or support an individual skater’s efforts by writing her name in the comments when you make your donation. Some skaters are also on Facebook and have ChipIn on their profiles if you prefer to donate that way.

If you want to come see us, the Skate-O-Thon will be held Monday, Oct. 19 from 8-10pm. We will be in costume and we hope you’ll come decked out too! A $5 donation will get you in the door.  Rumor has it that some of our sister league from over the hill, the lovely Santa Cruz Derby Girls, will be joining us as well. Come mingle and cheer us on!

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SVRG’s last recruitment of the season!

Don't fear, Terribelle Demise's injuries were sustained off track. Thankfully, she has Kimfectious and Postal Servix to protect her.

Don't fear, Terribelle Demise's injuries were sustained off track. Thankfully, she has Kimfectious and Postal Servix to protect her.

Do you think you have the stuff to rock & block with the Silicon Valley Roller Girls? If so, follow these five easy steps!

1. Read this article on the blog about how to get started with roller derby so you know what you’re getting into.

2. For some FAQs about recruitment, click here.

3. Contact Texas ChanaSaw Massacre at recruitment@svrollergirls.com if you are interested.

4. Come watch a practice before October 28th (ChanaSaw will give you details.)

5. Come ready to skate on Wednesday, October 28th, and join us at the recruitment meeting Sunday, November 1.

Any additional questions, please contact ChanaSaw at recruitment@svrollergirls.com . Hope to see you on the rink soon!

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The Ultimate Guide to Choosing Your Roller Derby Name

So, you’ve decided you want to be a roller derby girl. You’ve gathered your gear, paid your dues, and you’ve been taking your hits on the fresh meat rink. You’re getting ready to graduate from bootcamp and join the big girls. You’re in it to win it—so the time has come to get yourself the perfect moniker. Choosing the right roller derby name is an art, so whether you’re brainstorming or narrowing down your choices, be sure to consider the following bits of advice.

1. Make it memorable. The most classic derby names are short, sweet, and have a pun that the general audience can follow. Often, names are plays off of female names. Personally, I think it’s hard to beat our own Pia Mess. All the better if your number plays into the joke too—Pia’s is 24/7.

2. Watch the spelling and pronunciation. In the day of search engines and decreasing spelling aptitude, consider how your name is pronounced and spelled. It should be as grammatically sensible as possible. If you pick something obtuse and difficult to pronounce, don’t blame the announcers when they mangle it at every bout or bitch at that one teammate who always seems to get it wrong no matter how many times you correct her—you did it to yourself.

3. Consider the length. You don’t want your name to be a mouthful. It will be a pain in the ass to fit it on your jersey, your helmet, and signs from your fans. If you’re the crafty type, you’re going to find yourself spending a small fortune paying for the extra letters. If you are insistent on a long name…

4. …be prepared for the nickname. SVRG’s MisTits picked her name because of her love of the band The Misfits and her fine rack. When we address her, though, it’s “Tits” or “Titties.” Fortunately, she has the swagger to pull it off—but if this is a fate you’re not prepared for, be sure to consider all the ways your name can be shortened. If there’s no logical way to shorten it to something cute and convenient, be prepared for people to give up and use your real name (which may or may not be what you prefer.)

5. Think twice about in-jokes. Really, this is a personal preference. If you and your friends think your name is clever and you like it, go for it—but expect to explain the whole story every time someone asks you where your name came from, and then be prepared for the blank look and disappointed “oh” when you’re done, because in-jokes aren’t nearly as funny with the out-crowd.

6. Don’t date yourself. Avoid slang and trends that are likely to fall out of fashion. Hell, you could be on skates for the next decade—so you don’t want to be stuck with the same kind of awkwardness as you feel now when your parents talk about bling. On the same note, if you’re looking to cop a celebrity name, be sure to stick to A-listers with durable careers. Gotham’s Beyonslay or Santa Cruz’s Angelina Rollie can rest assured their superstar names will stand the test of time, but if you play off of Heidi Montag, Kate Gosselin, or some American Idol, no one is going to get it once those famewhores’ 15 minutes are up.

7. Think about your rating. Would you rate your name PG, PG-13, or R? Consider your team’s norms and market—some are more conservative and family-oriented, whereas others limit their team and bouts to the 21+ crowd. Our team readily hosts Se7en Year Bitch and Bitch Puddin’, but if someone adopted the name Shitty McFuckface, eyebrows would be raised. Consider what people around you would think. If you blush at the thought of your grandparents, boss, kids, students, etc., finding out your derby name, then you better keep your fingers crossed they never come watch you play or see your jersey in the laundry pile.

8. Avoid similarity to other registered names, especially your teammates’. If your name is too similar to a registered one, there’s a good chance it will get rejected. Our own Secret Servix changed her name to Postal Servix because her name was too similar to a Colorado team. Be particularly careful not to choose something too close to a teammate’s name—not only do you not want to step on her toes or cramp her style, but more importantly, you don’t want to cause any confusion on the track when someone is hollering at you.

9. Try it out. Um, you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it, right? So, run it by your teammates. See if you can stand being called by it—this is also a good way to determine what the working (shortened) version is going to be.

10. Get it registered—and have a backup plan. Recently SVRG’s Smashleigh found out her name was never registered, and by the time it was submitted, it was too similar to another skater’s to be accepted. It may take your team’s designated name register-er a while to collect the list, and there is often a backlog on the site, so be prepared for the possibility of rejection based on duplication even if your name seemed unique at the time. Come up with a backup name that you also like, and don’t get too attached to your first choice until it’s final.

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Roller Derby: How to Get Started

If you are just now thinking about joining a roller derby team, we know that a particular cute movie and the resultant media attention have probably drawn you here. Hey, that’s fine—we are expecting you, and that’s why I’ve assembled this handy list. In my other life, we have to provide people who participate in certain activities with what is known as informed consent. That is, we have to make sure people know what they’re getting into. So, I hope this can serve as a brief guide to help you a) determine whether roller derby is the sport for you; and, if you’re in, b) how to get started.

1. Ask yourself: “Why do I really want to play roller derby?”

If your answer is in anyway related to, “It looks like a great way for me to burn calories, just like Zumba/hula-hooping/(enter-latest-fitness-craze-here)!” or “OMG, I saw Whip It, and the costumes are so totally cute! I just have to have one!” or “All my local roller girls hang out at the bar and they look like the coolest chicks ever!” you might want to take a minute to check yourself before you, as according to the proverb, wreck yourself. If you know that you get sucked into a lot of cool ideas but get bored easily and quit, know that derby is a bit intense (time, labor, and cost-wise) to be your new favorite thing for only six weeks. If you’re attracted by the fashion, or the fishnets, or the bad-ass women, make sure you’re also attracted by the sweating, the aggression, and the competition, because, ladies, this is a sport.

2. Do some research.

The first thing to do is get the basics of the sport down. Check the glossary on this blog to get a handle on terms and how the game works. Next, look at fun stuff. Surf You Tube for clips. Visit the sites listed in the blogroll here, like Derby News Network, to get the sweet and lowdown on the roller derby world. Awesome, isn’t it? Now that you’re hooked…

Find your local roller derby league. A search for “roller derby” and your town, region, or state name is one way to get started. A lot of teams maintain websites as well as profiles on MySpace and Facebook. There are some resources, including the WFTDA website and the International Derby Roster, that can lead you to leagues, but in many towns there are brand spankin’ new startup leagues that may not even have a web presence yet. Try surfing craigslist.org for your area—a lot of teams post recruitment ads there.

If your web search is fruitless, ask around. Check your local alternative newsweekly or contact the sports or events editor at your local newspaper. Contact your local skating rink, skate park, or skate shops and see if anyone knows about one. Local music stores are also a good place to check. If you are still empty-handed, try contacting the closest roller derby leagues you *can* find and see if they know of any leagues closer to you.

3. Contact your local roller derby recruitment coordinator.

Leagues vary widely in their levels of skill and organization, and this will greatly affect their desire and willingness to recruit newbies of various skill levels (which, in the derby world, are known as “fresh meat.”) Some teams welcome skaters of all levels and are willing to work with you from your wobbly first steps onward; others demand a higher level of skill to start. Some teams provide a bootcamp to help you get your skills up to par; others expect you to walk into the rink ready to roll (and hit and block), or expect that you will work on your own time to catch up to the team. Some teams will make you try out immediately; others will encourage you to attend a bootcamp leading up to a tryout or skills test. Some teams will cut you from consideration if you don’t make it at tryouts; others may encourage you to keep working with the team until you can pass.

This is why you need to contact the league’s recruitment coordinator before launching any further plan of action. The recruitment coordinator will be able to answer all your questions about starting skill level, bootcamp availability, tryout dates, and longer-term questions about the team (like required practice hours, dues, and other commitments.) This may make or break your derby dreams, so you might as well inform yourself sooner rather than later.

4. Attend a bout.

As soon as possible, attend a bout. No matter what you have seen on a screen, you must witness derby firsthand to really understand the mechanics and what you are getting yourself into.

5. Skate. Skatey skate skate skate.

If the bout didn’t scare you off, it’s time to get on wheels. At this point, don’t worry if you don’t have your own skates—just rock the rentals and see how it feels. Skate whenever you have the opportunity, and don’t get bothered by the fact that you’re getting smoked by six-year-olds on the rink. At this point, you don’t have to worry about anything fancy—just get confident on your wheels. With time, try challenging yourself by skating faster, performing crossovers on the turns, or staying in thigh-burning derby position (crouched low, thighs parallel to the floor) for extended periods.

6. Ask yourself again: is this what you want to do? Do you have the time and heartspace in your life right now for derby?

Granted, when you first get into roller derby, things won’t be as demanding as this list indicates. Over time, however, this will change. I’ve provided this list so that you understand what your life might look like once you’ve joined a typical, DIY derby team, and also to provide you with a list of things you may not have considered about the nature of playing a sport like ours.

Time

-I am willing to practice 2-4 times a week, in total anywhere from 5 to 15+ hours, depending on what my team requires.

-I am willing to spend extra time beyond that commitment working on my skills.

-Additionally, I have the time to perform community service, attend fundraisers and other appearances, work home bouts, and participate in other events as required by the team.

-I also have the time to perform duties for my team, such as joining a committee to organize events, helping maintain the website, finding sponsors, advertising and flyering for events, etc.

Your Health

-I understand that being fit for derby may mean making lifestyle changes, including diet, exercise, and other of life’s joys. I know that I may have to cut back or modify some really, really fun habits in order to perform better or adhere to a team policy (note that this comes from someone who skates as “Retox.”)

-I am aware that injuries are common in roller derby. (Please see our Hall of Pain if you have any questions.)

-I have sufficient medical insurance that will cover me in case of injury.

Your Finances

-I understand that derby is a costly sport to get into, and that even starter gear will cost a couple hundred dollars.

-I can budget for my monthly dues, travel costs to away games, new gear, gear maintenance, team jerseys, practice clothes, and totally cute socks and stockings.

-Were I to get injured in roller derby, I would have a way to cover my expenses and/or lost wages from missing work.

Your Personality

-I am aware that I don’t know everything. I can take criticism, and I am willing to learn.

-When I fail at something, I will try harder rather than give up.

-I can keep my attitude/temper/mouth in check, even when angry or frustrated.

-I work and play well with others. I understand that derby is a team sport, and that my individual actions affect the team as a whole.

Finally…

-I have sympathetic and flexible friends, family, and a significant other/s who will understand how important derby is to me and tolerate it eating my life and free time.

-I understand that roller derby isn’t just a sport, it is a lifestyle.

- I am ready to act as a part of something greater than myself.

Get it? Got it? Good. If you’ve digested all that food for thought and are still saying, “Yes, I should be able to manage that,” try again. If you’re screaming, “HELL YES, BRING IT ON!!” then keep reading:

When you have committed yourself to trying roller derby…

7. Work out, eat right, and take care of your body.

Do you have to? Well, no. But, like any sport, your performance is compromised when you don’t. Life is about balance, though. I am a hedonist and am not about to tell someone never to eat a delicious bacon cheeseburger or down a fifth of Maker’s Mark ever again. Just think about being a little smarter with your decisions. Turn off the television and get the extra hour of sleep. Go with the side salad instead of the fries. Hit the gym instead of happy hour this week. Little things will get your whole body working better. Don’t be that person whining about how hard endurance skating is with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. Duh.

8. Skate some more.

Keep pushing yourself to skate harder, faster, more. The more time you spend on skates the more natural it will feel. Consider taking a skate class at your local rink, where you can practice skills and techniques that will help you become a more efficient skater.

9. Gear up.

Depending on your situation, you may need to gear up before starting a bootcamp, or you may be able to get by on loaner equipment and rental skates for a while. As someone of very limited finances, it was this monetary sacrifice that almost made me give up trying roller derby. I finally sucked it up, sacrificed my alcohol budget for a month, and bought pads, socks, and a mouthguard. I was on rental skates for my first couple of months until one of the refs, Bronco, did me a huge favor and sold me a solid pair of skates for $20. They were a size and a half too big, but beggars can’t be choosers, and that’s what kept me skating for several months. It wasn’t until eight months after starting that I had saved enough money for my own pair of skates.

On the plus side, having waited for so long I had learned a lot about gear and got to try a lot of different things out. Rushing in and buying a bunch of stuff right off the bat is not only expensive, but sometimes you find that it isn’t what you really want. So, talk to other skaters on the team—can you borrow equipment? Can you try other things to figure out what you like? A lot of skate shops will also sell you fresh meat starter kits with cheaper pads and skates, knowing that those materials will get you by until you are ready to make a bigger investment.

10. Try out or start bootcamp!

Once you’ve spent all the time you can skating and working out, and you have the requisite equipment, it’s time to give it a shot. Don’t be intimidated by tryouts—the recruitment coordinator will tell you what to expect, and all you can do is your best. Remember, you’re out there with a bunch of like-minded girls who are also getting in to the sport for the first time, so relax, make some friends, and be prepared to learn…and HAVE SOME FUN!

P. S. If you are local and are interested in checking out the Silicon Valley Roller Girls, contact  recruitment@svrollergirls.com for details!

P. P. S. We get a lot of interest from ladies under the age of 18. UPDATE 6/10: We are starting our first junior derby camp this summer. Email juniorderby@svrollergirls.com for information.

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