Skater of the Month: CynTax

Photo by Jim Cottingham

CynTax is known on the track for her endurance, speed, agility, and wily jammer moves. In a sport where size often matters, this 5 foot tall, 110-pound skater uses her small stature to her advantage by deftly sneaking through the pack unnoticed. She has received several accolades over her 4-year derby career, including Jammer MVP (Most Valuable Player) on 9/11 against SAC, KillaBytes’ 2009 Takes a Lickin’ and Keeps on Tickin’ award, and she skated 315 laps (approximately 24 miles) in 2 hours at our first annual skate-a-thon fundraiser in 2009.

How did you get into roller derby?

I watched the Rollergirls reality show on A&E in early 2006, and they mentioned that teams following the new format of all women’s, full-contact roller derby were springing up everywhere in major cities across the country. I knew after the first episode that the sport, the culture, the athleticism, and the lifestyle were for me, so I looked online and found the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls of Oakland, the only Bay Area team in existence at the time. I joined B.A.D. Girls in January of 2006 after a short stint with the San Francisco Bay Bombers. After suffering a painful back injury, I retired from B.A.D Girls in June of 2007. I thought my derby career was over, but after lots of physical therapy, my back healed and I felt the derby itch once again. Looking for a team closer to home, I found the Silicon Valley Roller Girls in August of 2008.

What kind of skating skill or athletic abilities did you have before starting derby?

I was very heavily into gymnastics competition all through my childhood. I really feel this training has been extremely helpful in roller derby. In particular, it has helped me to better take falls by rolling out of them or “crumpling” to reduce the impact to any one particular part of the body. As far as skating goes, I am a child of the 80’s, so skating parties were a weekly staple in my life. Until I started my roller derby career in 2006, I hadn’t skated since the late 80’s. It was like riding a bike in some ways, but it still took time to build upon those basic skating skills.

How did you derive your derby name and number?

I’m an accountant and that’s semi-unusual in the derby world, so I wanted my skate name to reflect my profession. My full skate name is supposed to be CynTax Terror, but I wasn’t quick enough to add the Terror part to the national registry. The number, 1040ez, is the standard short form for tax preparation. Get it – short form? During tax season it really is CynTax season because I’m working crazy hours while trying to keep up my attendance at derby practice, so I can make the rosters.

What do you contribute to SVRG and roller derby in general off the track?

My current role with SVRG is as the announcer liaison on our bout production committee as well as one of three WFTDA reps for our league. As the announcer liaison, I seek out great announcers for our bouts, keep them informed as to our timelines and needs as well as making sure their needs are met.   I prepare a 20-page handbook for each bout that details anything and everything our announcers would need to know to make MC-ing our bouts go as smoothly as possible while making it as interesting to listen to as possible.

As the voting WFTDA rep, I keep a close eye on the national WFTDA forum looking for any mandatory votes our league needs to participate in to keep our membership in good standing. I gather the materials needed for our league members to cast their votes and then I transmit our league vote to WFTDA.

In the past, I was the finance committee head for the B.A.D. Girls, and I spearheaded the submission of their nonprofit application to the IRS. I believe we were one of the first or second leagues in the country to do so. This paved the way for other leagues, and now it’s pretty much the standard practice for roller derby leagues to go through the application process to become a nonprofit organization. Years ago, it was a big deal to get the IRS to recognize roller derby as a nonprofit sports organization that promotes female athleticism. We had to fight tooth and nail for it.

How do you spend the non-derby part of your life?

I am pretty active. I think participating in other forms of physical activity when you do a physically demanding sport such as roller derby is important. I like to run, lift weights, participate in yoga, golf, or anything that comes my way, really.

I also like to cook. I don’t have time to do it often, but it’s the only creative thing I do. I get in trouble if I’m too creative at work, lol.

I started a book club for our derby league. We have about a dozen members. We discuss one book a month. Each member contributes a book, and I really like this idea because it gives us all new things to read that we might not have normally chosen on our own. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by some of the selections.

What are your long-term derby goals?

I would like to keep playing roller derby for as long as my body will allow me to. I’ve suffered lots of derby-related injuries, including a broken nose, ribs, and fingers. I’ve had lots of problems with my back and knees from the stresses skating puts on the body. I guess if I had to pinpoint a goal it would be to one day be the oldest member on the league. I’m gaining on the few members older than me.

What advice would you give women interested in playing roller derby?

It’s a little intimidating to join a league, but well worth it if you can muster up the guts. Things are much more organized these days. Our league has a bootcamp we put on a few times a year to train beginners in the basics and help them pass their minimum skills tests and ultimately become a league member. So, I guess my advice is to first decide if you’re serious, because it takes a lot of practice, time, blood, sweat, and tears. If you are serious and you give it your all, you will discover some of the most rewarding things in life, make new friendships, and become more fit than you’ve ever been. After you have decided to make the commitment and be serious about it, don’t let the setbacks ruin your enthusiasm. I was lucky that I had years of skating under my belt when I started derby, but I had lots of obstacles to overcome with my size. I didn’t get put on my first roster until I was with SVRG for nine months. Derby comes naturally to some, but more often than not, it’s a skill that takes lots of practice to learn. Being a good skater is only half of it.

SVRG KillaBytes topple Lake Tahoe Derby Dames, 123-48

The KillaBytes warm up under the redwoods at the Lake Tahoe Derby Dames' dreamy venue. Photo: Amy Anderson.

The KillaBytes had already taken some hits to the roster from Satan’s Kitten’s separated shoulder, Absolutely Scabulous’s recent concussion, and a last-minute work obligation from Catherine Beata Bones, so they were down to 13 for this bout. Spirits were high, though, because the Killas were happy to welcome back former co-captain Steffin’ Razor, whose return from knee surgery had been delayed due to a subsequent concussion. The Killas were also excited to debut a new member, Tennessee Smitan, who graduated from bootcamp this spring and made her first roster.

In true form, SVRG made it rain—literally. A couple of hours before the bout, the skies became overcast, thunder rolled in the distance, and the drizzle began. Normally, this isn’t much an issue for roller derby bouts, but the Tahoe venue was an outdoor rink, placidly set beneath the towering redwoods at a nearby park. The rain tapered off shortly before the doors were set to open, and thanks to the hard work of the refs, NSOs, and volunteers from Tahoe and SVRG, the track was squeegeed and blow-dried enough for the bout to go on with only a slight delay. Both teams were aware that the rain had made for a confounding factor, however—despite the cleanup, the floor was still super slippery. Turns were hard to hold, speed was difficult to pick up and maintain due to the lack of traction, and juking and other agile footwork was extremely difficult.

Unfortunately, pileups were all too common on the slick surface. Here, Zootown Throwdown and a Lake Tahoe skater are entangled.

Within the first few jams, the Killas worked to adjust to the track conditions. The pack was sluggish and the jammers struggled to determine optimal speeds to make it through quickly without wiping out. The Lake Tahoe Derby Dames were particularly adept at using their momentum to deliver powerful hits to the outside, and the KillaBytes were happy to engage their strong defense with their own killa hits. Due to the track, however, almost any forceful hit ended  up with at least one skater on the ground, if not both, resulting in some inadvertent low blocking and pileups.

Bozo Disposo on the line of the fateful jam.

In the fourth jam, Bozo Disposo was jamming for the first time and trying to adjust to the surface. After securing lead jammer, she saw a hit coming from the inside and decided to absorb it. Due to the track’s slickness, her skates moved in an unexpected manner and she fell in an awkward way, taking too much force on her wrist. Being the trooper that she is, Bozo immediately sat up and called off the jam, but as she skated off the track it was evident (and a hospital trip later confirmed) that her wrist was broken and needed to be reset.

Left: Postal Servix skips by on a no pack; right: Zoo deftly evades a hard hit and breaks the pack.

Greatly saddened by yet another injury (having lost Beth Sentence to a broken ankle in the Denver bout in June and Satan’s Kitten to the aforementioned shoulder injury in the ACDG bout in July), the Killas were now down to 12 on the bench and missing a key part of their jammer rotation, which was now on the shoulders of CynTax, Zootown Throwdown, and Postal Servix, who was also doing double duty as a blocker. Coaches Aim De Kill and Kosmo Trouble helped the team refocus, and a slow-and-steady approach began to reap some benefits, allowing the Killas to creep ahead 57-25 by half-time.

Top left: Steffin' Razor and BootyVicious pinch jammer Fiona Fearless and blocker Mad Maggie. Top right: Postal Servix's booty was rockin' everywhere. Bottom left: Lizapalooza whips Zoo past LTDD's last line of defense. Bottom right: Retox Fox and BootyVicious help clear the path for CynTax.

After the half, the Killas leapt onto the track with new energy. Knowing the track was making the jammers’ lives miserable (not to mention those wicked hits from Tahoe’s power blocking, including Jinn Beam, Fiona Fearless, and Mad Maggie), the Killas dedicated more resources to their offense. Steffin’ Razor, clearly happy to be back on the track, strategically redirected the pack as needed. Lizapalooza and BootyVicious vocally and bodily controlled the pack, doling out solid hits with Postal Servix and Mauly Anna. Bitch Puddin’ and Tennessee Smitan worked the front and middle, using both hits and positional blocking to keep blockers at bay. Skooter Ov’r, Retox Fox, and Knuckles DeVille focused on the back of the pack, keeping jammers and pesky blockers on the ground to maximize their jammers’ scoring potential (see some of Knuckles’s work below).

Jammer Tennessee Smitan cleverly sneaks by on the outside as Knuckles Deville offers protection (and the Lake Tahoe jammer leaps over Knuckles's wreckage).

Fearless rookie Tennessee Smitan also stepped in to handle a couple of jams. In the second half, the Killas jammers, working their way more cautiously through the pack, began to rack up more points per jam, including a 20-point power jam by Zootown Throwdown as Tahoe’s jammer sat in the box. Meanwhile, the Killa defense held Tahoe to only 23 points in the second half despite Tahoe having a couple of power jam opportunities, leading to a final score of 123-48.

You can see pictures from the bout on the Lake Tahoe Derby Dames Facebook page (no membership required) courtesy of Photography Hoodoo.

The KillaBytes would like to thank their amazing coaches, Pandamonium, LTO, Aim De Kill, and Pia Mess for prepping them for this bout. Extra special thanks goes to Awesome Amazing Aim De Kill, who head coached our bout and did a rad job while facing adverse conditions, and Kosmo Trouble, who stepped up to help us out. We would like to thank the ref, NSO, and volunteer crew from Tahoe and SVRG who made this bout possible in the first place by getting the track in workable condition, and thanks to our refs who traveled to Tahoe to skate with us (Jonny Demonic, Jacques Strappe, Peter Fondle, and Teapotahedron). Thanks too to all of our fellow skaters and fans who made the trip up to Tahoe to cheer us on. And big, big thanks to the Lake Tahoe girls for hosting us, giving us a tough game (and the bruises to show for it), and throwing a great afterparty!

SVRG is a win-win; Killas take down ACDG Rocket Queens 118-72 and Dots pummel Treasure Valley 208-68

The Dot.Kamikazes and Coach Panda line up with guest of honor Jerry Seltzer, major sports fan and son of Leo Seltzer, the founder of roller derby. All photos courtesy of Jim Cottingham.

The luau-themed Freaky Tiki Throwdown was a fun-filled evening for fans and skaters alike. Victory was in the air at San Jose Skate on Saturday night as both Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ teams, the KillaBytes and the Dot.Kamikazes, racked up solid wins.

The KillaBytes were coming off an amazing performance (albeit, a loss) against the Denver Roller Dolls’ Bruising Altitude on June 12. They were curious as to what the Angel City Derby Girls’ Rocket Queens would be bringing, since the team has undergone a reboot (several retirements and lots of new blood) since they faced the Dot.Kamikazes last season. Given their younger roster, the team was matched against the KillaBytes this season instead. The KillaBytes were also excited to face the Rocket Queens since a former SVRG bootcamper, Blow Hole, had moved to southern California and was on the ACDG roster.

Left: Belle Wringer and Skooter Ov'r squish the pack. Right: Lizapalooza, Fox, and Knuckles set the pace.

The KillaBytes earned their name from the first whistle with some killer defense. Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and BootyVicious brought it in the pack and as aggressive jammers. Captain Knuckles DeVille, Lizapalooza, and Bitch Puddin’ took turns positionally blocking or taking out jammers at the front of the pack while Belle Wringer and Skooter Ov’r steered ‘em and cleared ‘em in the back.

Left: Bones & her booty sneak attack; Middle & right: Servix doles out some two piece meal.

Postal Servix and Catherine Beata Bones brought some serious booty into the mix, clearing a path with their ferocious swipes (just check out the pics). Retox Fox doled out persistent beatings on jammers and blockers alike, often sharing some special one-on-one moments with an opponent at the back of the pack. Satan’s Kitten threw blocks so vicious that she found out after the game that she had separated her shoulder (meeowch!)

L: CynTax brushes off a hit; M: Bozo Disposo has picked up jamming duties like a natural; L: Skooter Ov'r whips AbScab while keeping an eye on her pack.

Between the Killas’ stellar defense and the jammers’ indefatigable endurance, the Killas had a productive evening on the line. Jamming duties were handled by Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown, CynTax, Catherine Beata Bones, Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and BootyVicious. The Killas succeeded in dethroning the Rocket Queens, 118-72.

One of the thrills of playing new teams from faraway lands is that you’re not quite sure what to expect. The Treasure Valley Rollergirls from Boise, Idaho, made their first visit to the Bay Area, and the murmurs started as the team started their warm up. “Wow, they really look like they know what they’re doing,” one SVRG skater said. Indeed, Treasure Valley would demonstrate their agility throughout the evening against the Dot.Kamikazes.

L: Lindsay Lohanded steers; M: Lizapalooza has a lock on the jammer; R: Pia Mess deftly disposes of the TV jammer.

The Dot.Kamikazes kicked off the jams with a stellar first jam. Pia Mess and Death by Dollface contained TV’s Jilldozer as SVRG’s Smack Dahlia grand-slammed her way to a 13-point jam to TV’s 5. TV bounced right back in the second jam, as both Pia and jammer Smash ‘n’ Burn were sent to the box. TV’s Ana Rampage secured a 14-point power jam, helping TV take a 19-13 lead. In the fourth jam, new SVRG skater Mongoose, a transfer from Florida, made her debut and racked up 9 points in her first jam despite a pack deficit. Although Feisty Irish was in the box serving time, Scait Riot filled in the gap by working as a one-woman wall against TV’s jammer.

L: Mongoose's debut was marked by several high-scoring jams; here she gets a hand from Servix. R: Smack Dahlia believes she can fly...which she did, through double-digit jams.

SVRG continued to have penalty trouble throughout the first 20 minutes of the first half, rarely fielding a full pack. Every time they succeeded in pulling ahead a few points, TV was quick to respond and narrow the point margin. In Jam 12, Dollface, Kimfectious, and jammer Smash ‘n’ Burn crowded the penalty box, but things turned around for SVRG in Jam 13 as Smack Dahlia took advantage of some killer Pia Mess defense and sped to a 14-0 jam. SVRG’s defense—including some excellent teamwork by Scait Riot, Kosmo Trouble, Lizapalooza, and Donna Diggler, and the requisite knockout hits by Pia, Dollface, and Lindsay Lohanded—held TV scoreless for the last six jams of the half, which Mongoose closed with a 10-point power jam for SVRG, giving them a 85-35 lead.

Patty cake? Dance move? Paper, rock, scissors on who gives the whip? Kosmo Trouble and Death by Dollface prepare for an oncoming Smack Dahlia.

SVRG’s defense continued to freeze out TV in the second half; by Jam 9 TV had only put up 2 more points. In the meantime, SVRG made slow but steady forward progress with the exception of Jam 4, when Pia Mess donned the jammer cap and strode to a 30-point power jam with the help of Scait Riot, Dollface, Kimfectious, and Feisty Irish. Smack Dahlia racked up 10 points in Jam 9 before being sent to the box, but nimble blocking by Lindsay Lohanded held the TV jammer to only 4 points in the power jam. Postal Servix (who along with Lizapalooza and Catherine Beata Bones served double duty on the Killas and Dots tonight) took the line in Jam 11 and scored a 15-point jam while Feisty Irish was on fire with her blocking. In the last jams, Kosmo Trouble, Donna Diggler, Feisty Irish, and Catherine Beata Bones all took a turn on the jammer line. Pia Mess also returned and completed a star pass to Smash ‘n’ Burn, the duo earning a collective 18-points in a power jam. In the end, SVRG triumphed over Treasure Valley, 208-68.



If you just can't get enough Teddy Wreckspin, you'll have to come check out men's roller derby on July 18, 3 pm at Roosevelt Park!

As always, thanks to our awesome coaches, Pandamonium, LTO, Aim De Kill, and Pia Mess; our amazing ref and NSO staff; our visiting opponents, the Angel City Rocket Queens and Treasure Valley Rollergirls; and our families, friends, and fans for supporting us!

Thanks to Jim Cottingham for his photos of the KillaBytes and Dot.Kamikazes!

SVRG builds with Habitat for Humanity

SVRG on site at the Habitat build.

by Satan’s Kitten, Community Service Head

On May 8, members of the Silicon Valley Roller Girls worked alongside the families receiving the six homes on this lot in Morgan Hill for their ‘Women’s Build.” Lizapalooza, Peter Fondle, CynTax, Mauly Anna, Brigid Fitch, Zen, Tennessee Smitan, Blanca Basura Barbie, Jema, and Satan’s Kitten represented SVRG at the work site. We dug ditches for foundations, hammered in rebar and built guides for the foundation to be poured, raised walls, and other labor-intensive work.

Mauly Anna and Kitten dig it.

The proceeds from our July 10th bout will be going towards this build and we’re hoping to volunteer again with them before the year is out. Anyone interested in getting involved with Habitat for Humanity should check out:
www.habitatsiliconvalley.org .

Hall of Pain: Fox takes one to the face

No, I don't like The Cure.

OK, I have two admissions to make: one, I named this post based on search engine potential; and two, thankfully, *very* thankfully, our Hall of Pain has been relatively barren so far this season (that sound you hear is my knuckles pounding on my IKEA desk, which is hopefully real wood) and since this was my face, I can say I’m stretching the whole pain part. Given my previous life in kickboxing and barroom brawling, I hardly earned this black eye, but heck, it was real purdy so I figured I’d post it.

Please note the Goth pose was adopted so that you could actually distinguish the black eye from the eye that merely has swollen, pronounced bags underneath it thanks to the recent procurement of my dissertation and the requisite inversely proportional relationship between maniacal editing and sleep.

Anyway, I took an elbow to the face in the pack, but subsequent blindness meant I never caught sight of who did it, just a vision of an arm coming at my face and me turning just enough not to catch it on the nose (Feisty Irish, who has been featured in the Hall of Pain for her two broken noses a la derby, sympathized on that angle.) I was inclined to blame Lindsay Lohanded, who might as well have her own branding iron given the bruises her hits tend to elicit (not to mention CynTax’s broken ribs), but unfortunately she was off the track at the time, so I am in need of a culprit. Alas, now I have a variety of purples (with very little in the wardrobe to coordinate), a boyfriend who is hesitant to go out in public with me, and a lot of explainin’ to do to my dissertation committee. Oh well, maybe it will inspire a bit of mercy.

San Diego Hard Corps inch past KillaBytes, 108-105; Dot.Kamikazes quell the Dockyard Derby Dames, 158-88

Bitch Puddin' (right back) gives Mauly Anna (right front) some extra momentum as she goes in for the hit on San Diego jammer Blur D'Lee. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela

Wow, for those of you who couldn’t make our doubleheader on Saturday, you missed an amazing night of roller derby!

First up, the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ KillaBytes faced off against San Diego’s Hard Corps. In December, members of SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes and KillaBytes had traveled to San Diego to play a scrap bout (i.e., an unofficial bout where whomever can go and play does) with a hybrid of their A and B teams and ended up losing in the last moments of the bout. Given San Diego’s stellar level of play, the Killas were looking forward to hosting them on SVRG’s home turf. The KillaBytes were also very excited to debut three new skaters who graduated from bootcamp at the end of last season and were skating in their very first bout: Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and Catherine Beata Bones.

Top image: Bozo Disposo, Sadie Mae Gutz, Absolutely Scabulous, and pivot BootyVicious wall up. Bottom: Why, they look so sweet on the line! Belle Ringer, Sadie, Mauly Anna, and Double Knuckles pose for a family portrait. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham

San Diego started strong, setting the tone for the first half. They repeatedly contained the Killa blockers as their jammers raced through the pack. In the first half, San Diego jammers dominated the Killa jammers, securing lead 11 of 19 jams and taking control of the point spread. The Killa jammers, whose collective endurance lends itself to serious pack-lapping at times, never managed to get into the double digits in a single jam in the first half, although CynTax deftly maneuvered through a 9-point jam. In contrast, San Diego jammers Blur D’Lee (2 10-point jams) and Heidi Evidence (13-pt and 9-pt jams) racked up serious points, giving the Hard Corps a 62-38 lead by the end of the first half.

Left: Retox Fox and Catherine Beta Bones tag team the San Diego jammer; Right: Beth Sentence puts some booty into it to control the jammer.

The Killas reconfigured at halftime, but were still struggling into the fifth jam, when Blur D’Lee racked up a 20-point jam and the San Diego bench went wild at their 40 point lead, 91-51. The cheering made its way to the KillaBytes, and somewhere in that moment the tide turned. The Killas managed to turn up their offense and their defense simultaneously. Sadie Mae Gutz, Belle Wringer, and Retox Fox doled out big hits at the back of the pack and kept the Hard Corps jammers contained or on the floor. Captain Knuckles DeVille, BootyVicious, and Beth Sentence smartly controlled the front of the pack, teaming up with Mauly Anna, Bitch Puddin’, Spankin’ Firecracker, Absolutely Scabulous, Bones, and Bozo Disposo to optimize the Killa jammers’ scoring via offensive blocking and a few power whips.

The rookies rocked it last night! Absolutely Scabulous assists Catherine Beta Bones, who had the KillaBytes' highest scoring jam at 17 points.

The Killas kept the Hard Corps scoreless for six consecutive jams, recovering those 40 points and then some to pull ahead 96-91. Catherine Beata Bones shined in her debut bout, racking up the Killas’ highest scoring jam of the night at 17 points. Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown laid down a 10-point jam, and Beth Sentence, making her debut as a jammer, secured an 11-point jam. Double threat BootyVicious and CynTax rounded out the jamming rotation.

Left: Killas Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown sneaks past PT Bruiser. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham. Right: Captain Knuckles DeVille crushes Summer Crush. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela.

With 1:37 left on the clock, the game was tied 99-99. The coaches sent out their strongest packs for what appeared to be the final showdown, and Zootown Throwdown took the line against Blur D’Lee—a faceoff of the two skaters who would eventually be named their respective team’s MVPs. Killas Knuckles, Sadie, Belle, and Fox contained the nimble Blur as Zoo zipped through the pack and secured lead jammer. The Killa jammer made a full scoring pass and started on another before calling off the jam with 37 seconds left on the clock. Zoo pulled six points as the Killa pack held Blur scoreless, pushing the Killas into the lead, 105-99. The home crowd screamed as the points appeared on the scoreboard, but the Killas would have to hold down the fort for one more jam. Right off the line, the Hard Corps mapped a perfect strategy and were able to get Heidi Evidence lead jammer status. Knowing she had two minutes to work with, she raced through the pack twice and called off the jam after she hit the floor at the front of the pack. There were tense moments as the referees conferred and the scoreboard remained unchanged, but then the final score was announced. Heidi Evidence scored 9 points in the final jam, securing the win for San Diego. Although the Silicon Valley fans were disappointed at the loss, the thrill of the battle still had its rewards, and the Killas were congratulated for their amazing second half comeback. ‘Til we meet again, San Diego…

MisTits, walling up front with Postal Servix, helps Smash 'n' Burn clear the pack. Photo credit: Adrian Valenzuela

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating the faceoff against the Dockyard Derby Dames because one of their coaches, the infamous Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

Pia Mess multitasks, picking jammer T'erin Traxx off the line and clearing the path for Smack Dahlia. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

The Dot.Kamikazes started strong and never let up. Smack Dahlia laid down a 9-point jam to kick off the game while the Dots’ pack never released Dakota D. Stroya to score. Although the Dames kept the margin close for much of the first half, the Dots never surrendered the lead, pulling ahead to 75-56 by halftime buoyed by two 9-point jams and a half-ending 13-point jam by Pia Mess.

Left: Rot Wheels helps clear the way for Smash 'n' Burn while Pia Mess eyes the Dockyard jammer. Credit: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Donna Diggler contains a Dame. Credit: Jim Cottingham.

Although the Dames’ T’erin Traxx and Rocky Hardplace made the pack significantly less jammer-friendly, the Dots’ offensive blocking cleared timely paths for their jammers while Rot Wheels, Death by Dollface, Pia Mess, and Lizapalooza (also a regular whip machine), kept a powerhouse defense at the back of the pack.

Left: Feisty Irish goes after a Dockyard jammer. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Postal Servix and Kimfectious maintain a hard wall in front of the Dockyard jammer as Smack Dahlia sneaks up on the pack. Photo: Jim Cottingham.

Kimfectious, Feisty Irish, and Postal Servix, who all donned the pivot cap during the bout, Skooter Ov’r, and BootyVicious, fresh from the Killas game, filled out the pack. Donna Diggler connected on some vicious and crowd-pleasing hits. MisTits showed the crowd why her teammates recently crowned her Skater of the Month. As pivot, she nimbly switched from defense to offense, whipping her jammers out of the pack. After repeatedly flooring the Dames’ jammers, she directed them to what very may well be the least desired position on the track: having to re-enter the track, sans momentum, right behind Tits.

Smack Dahlia (58 pts.), Smash ‘n’ Burn (32 pts.), Pia Mess (43 pts.), Death by Dollface (5 pts.), and rookie Betta Watchit (20 pts.) filled out the jammer rotation. Pia Mess (7.17 points per jam) and Smack Dahlia (5.27 points per jam) impressively averaged over one scoring pass each jam. Smack proved to be the grand slam champ in the second half, earning lead jammer in every appearance and racking up a 13-pt., 2 10-pt, and an 8-pt jam. Donna Diggler and Kimfectious nobly stepped to the line for the final two jams, although both were held scoreless by a hard-hitting Dames’ pack. In the end, the Dots triumphed, 158-88.

Lizapalooza (off camera, to right) lends a helping hand to rookie Betta Watchit. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela

We would like to thank both of our opponent teams for traveling in from San Diego and Tacoma to come play us. Thank you to our amazing SVRG coaches: Pandamonium, who spends so much time off the track getting us in shape strategically; LTO, whose passion for coaching is communicated in every hand signal; Pia Mess, who whips us into such great derby shape; and Aim De Kill, who is cultivating the derby girls of tomorrow. We would like to thank our hardworking ref and NSO staff for keeping us all in line.

Special thanks to Jim Cottingham and Adrian Valenzuela for their photography and helping us share the glory with those of you who missed the bout. You can see Jim’s Killas photos here and Dots photos here; also check out his main page here, which includes some sweet galleries from Mavericks, aviation pics, and more. Adrian has Killas pics here and Dots pics here; you can also order prints from his website. (Hint: derby girls love them!)

And, as always, thanks to our friends, families, fans, sponsors, and other supporters for making this all possible!

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating this faceoff because the Dockyard Derby Dames’ coach, Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

SVRG has a fun and derbyful weekend

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ season officially ended at the November bout, but we’ve still been workin’ it out and taking any derby opportunity that rolls our way. This weekend SVRG members made appearances at Red Red Holiday, a mixed scrimmage hosted by Sac City, and a scrap team (translation: anyone who had the time & money to travel) meandered down to face some of the San Diego Derby Dolls.

Red Red was particularly exciting this year because we got to send a lot of our new blood for some scrimmage experience. In addition to SVRG vets Steffen Razor (Team Orange) and MisTits (Dark Green), five of our interns got their first taste of bouting: Bozo Disposo (Dark Blue), Cannonball Iztik (Black), Absolutely Scabulous (Red), Blanca Basura Barbie (Pink) and Catherine Beata Bones (Light Green). The ladies had a wonderful time, and three were on the top teams. Barbie’s team, Pink (too appropriate!), took first place, MisTits’s Dark Green took second, and Steffen’s Orange took third. Congratulations!

In the meantime, a bunch of scrappers were bouting in San Diego. There was a question of whether the bout would even take place, because the roof at the Del Mar Fairgrounds was leaking in several places above the concrete track. Thing is, you can’t just tell derby girls there’s no derby. After consulting both teams, SDDD’s Bonnie D. Stroir declared that the game would go on, with some brave volunteers actively toweling the wet spots on the floor.

Because SVRG couldn’t field a whole team, we were grateful for the assistance of a couple of Central Coast Roller Derby ladies, Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware, to help fill our roster. Ivana joined Pia Mess, Death by Dollface, CynTax, and Betta Watchit (in her bout debut)  in the jamming rotation, while Rot Wheels, Kimfectious, Lizapalooza, Belle Wringer, Satan’s Kitten, Bitch Puddin’, Retox Fox, and BootyVicious performed blocker duties. Refs Texas Tea Bag and All Nate Long made the trip with the team, and the most honorable Aim De Kill tackled lineups for the group since her knee injury kept her off the track.

The game was a close one, with SVRG up by only ten points at half time. The tide turned in the second half, however, when SVRG often had more players in the penalty box than on the track. On numerous occasions SVRG was plagued by confusion, because a skater would get sent to the box only to find it chock full of her teammates, at which point she would have to return to the track until she was sent back. Before the midpoint of the second half, SVRG was down two skaters as both Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware had been ejected. SDDD wisely used their perpetual blocker advantage; having more blockers on the floor for nearly every jam allowed them to play woman-on-woman defense and keep one blocker solely on the SVRG jammer, limiting SVRG’s scoring. SDDD also made the most of a couple of power jams when SVRG had their jammer in the box. Gradually, they inched closer and closer, finally securing the lead in the last three jams of the night. SDDD defeated the SVRG scrappers, 97-82. One of our photographers, Adrian Valenzuela, made the trip down with us and you can see a couple of his shots here and a full Flickr set here. You can also check out other pics from the game here.

But the derby wasn’t over for the weekend. SDDD graciously hosted us at their amazing warehouse the next day so some of us could skate on a banked track for the first time. As Satan’s Kitten noted, we were all “SVRG green with envy” about the team’s space, which had room for a banked track, a regular track, workout equipment, lounging area, kids’ play area, and plenty of storage. Some of our previous night’s opponents, Bully Julie and Lila Monster, were there to give us some lessons on how to maximize our speed, hit legally, and take hits on the rail. Despite getting a serious workout the night before, we were all super psyched for the opportunity to skate on the banked track. THANK YOU SDDD and especially Julie and Lila for letting us come skate! You all are awesome!

L: SVRG hearts SDDD! On couch, Lila Monster, Bitch Puddin', Retox Fox, and Satan's Kitten; standing, Bully Julie and Belle Wringer. R: Belle, Kitten, Kimfectious, and Fox on the banked track.

L: Kimfectious and Betta Watchit on the rails. R: Kitten roars on the track.

Of course, that’s not enough derby for some of us. Some of the girls who had skated this weekend (Steffen, Dollface, Disposo, Belle, Fox, and Kimfectious) joined their teammates in welcoming some of the Santa Cruz Derby Girls for a mixed scrimmage last night. Lulu Lockjaw, Hell Louise, Pippi Hardsocking, Roxy Scarmichael, and CinZilla came out to skate with us and it was a fun evening for all. Thanks to all the refs and NSOs who made it possible, and a personal thanks to Broken Baby Doll, Panda, and the rest of the crew who came to my aid after my injury. Congratulations to Team Girth (Pandamonium, Hell Louise, Smack Dahlia, Lindsay Lohanded, Beth Sentence, Donna Diggler, Steffen, Fox, and Knuckles) who defeated Team White (Lulu, Dollface, Pippi, Roxy, CinZilla, Belle, Kimfectious, Smash ‘n’ Burn, and Disposo). Thanks to Jim Cottingham, who came out to photograph us (pics here), and a big thanks to SCDG for coming to visit!

Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

SVRG double header a double triumph: KillaBytes bury the Undead Bettys and Dot.Kamikazes take down the Redwood Rollers

SVRG closed out a stellar season with double wins as the KillaBytes defeated the Brentwood Undead Bettys 155-104 and the Dot.Kamikazes beat the Humboldt Redwood Rollers 159-63.

The KillaBytes, who hadn’t played a home game since May, brought in the crowds for their second home bout during the 2009 season. Considering their last bout was in August, the team was reared up and ready to take on Brentwood’s Undead Bettys last Saturday.

Although the Killas and the Bettys had not yet faced off, some of the Killas had skated with the Bettys earlier in the season against the Santa Cruz Harbor Hellcats. In the spirit of sharing, some of the Santa Cruz women helped the Bettys fill out their roster for this bout. Don’t let the numbers fool, you, though; although the Bettys may have trouble fielding 14 of their own for an away bout, they have a strong core of skaters and the Killas knew they would be tough opponents.

Given the Bettys’ lineup of brutal blockers, including Lisafer, Luna Tix, and Cemetery Mary, the Killas’ theme for the night seemed to be “Help Your Jammer Out.”  After a close first half, the Killas had crept ahead of the Bettys, 76 to 61. The KillaBytes continued to employ a number of strategies that ensured that their jammers would get the support they needed to make it through the pack efficiently and put points on the board.

Left: Dirty Thirty and Texas ChanaSaw Massacre wall up. Right: Belle Wringer, Retox Fox, and Aim De Kill pin some Bettys to clear a route for Postal Servix (Photo credits: Nocklebeast).

These strategies resulted in several high-scoring, grand-slamming jams. Zootown Throwdown, who was named the KillaBytes’ MVP by the Bettys, threw down 84 points in 11 jams, including a 20-point jam in the second half. Postal Servix toed the line 12 times, bringing home 47 points, including a 15-point jam—a remarkable feat considering the fact that a) she had to roll right in to skate for the Dot.Kamikazes in the next bout;  and b) she skated through foot pain, and after the bout she discovered she had a fracture in her foot. (Servix is now in a walking cast and out for the remainder of the season.) CynTax skated in eight jams, putting 24 points on the board. Juicy K. Tore, who also skated with the Dot.Kamz, filled out the jammer rotation.

Top left: Belle Wringer clears the line for Zootown Throwdown (Photo credit: Nocklebeast); top right: Juicy K. Tore gives Postal Servix a helping hand (Boss Hogg). Bottom left: Retox Fox contains so CynTax clear the pack (Nocklebeast); Bottom right: Captain Aim De Kill whips Zoo to the front (Nocklebeast).

The indomitable Aim De Kill, Steffen Razor, and Double Knuckles DeVille managed the pack at pivot. Belle Wringer and Satan’s Kitten both made impressive outings in their second official bout for the Killas. Mauly Anna, Retox Fox, and Dirty Thirty also worked the pack. ChanaSaw Massacre returned to the rink with her signature snowplow after a long season of injury, including a broken hand and back issues. Sadie Mae Gutz  made the comeback of the season, playing in her first bout since giving birth to a baby girl (named, yes, Sadie) less than a month ago. Don’t tell me derby girls don’t LOVE LOVE LOVE this sport, folks: that is some serious commitment.

KillaByte Captain Aim De Kill announced her retirement.

And speaking of someone who has some serious LOVE LOVE LOVE for this sport, the KillaByte captain, Aim DeKill, announced her retirement  at the bout. Although she will not be skating next season, she will be taking an active role as a coach, helping our new class of bootcampers in the spring. All of the Silicon Valley Roller Girls want to thank Aim, our Mama Byte, for being such a remarkable and compassionate skater and friend. She truly embodies all that is the SVRG spirit.

Unfortunately, as is the way with derby, your reporter had to work during the Dot.Kamikazes bout, so my observations are here and there. Check out our announcer Killer Vee’s writeup here and her KillaBytes writeup here.

From what I could see, the Humboldt Redwood Rollers looked like a very coordinated and agile team. In the end, however, they were no match for the Dot.Kamikaze defense and power jamming. The stats show that, aside from Sissy Jr. scoring 13 points in the second jam, the Dot.Kamikaze pack prevented Humboldt’s jammers from ever making more than one scoring pass in a given jam. The Dot.Kam jammers frequently managed more than one scoring pass through the pack and often grand-slammed Humboldt. Pia Mess thrilled the crowd as she closed out the game with a 25 (arguably 30, as she was shooting through the pack as the whistle blew) point jam.

Here are some shots from the game:

Left: SKooter Ov'r eyes a Roller, while Lizapalooza takes out two blockers and the jammer singlehandedly, clearing the way for Dollface (Nocklebeast). Middle: MisTits makes a Roller into a Flyer. Right: Donna Diggler and Lindsay Lohanded pick off the Humboldt jammer.

Left: Smash 'n' Burn deftly stays in bounds. Middle: Smack Dahlia provides her own D. Right: Death by Dollface gets a monster whip from Pia Mess. (All photos: Boss Hogg).

THANK YOU! SVRG Skate-o-thon raises over $9,000!

Friends, family, volunteers: what can we say. We are so thankful for your generosity. We were amazed by your outpouring of support. Thanks to you, we raised over $9,000 and will be able to maintain our schedule for the 2010 season. Here are some pictures and details from the Skate-o-thon in case you didn’t make it out to see us.

Far left: Costume contest winner Weavin' Kohl Bear as Cruella De Vil. Mid left: Bitch Puddin' was our #1 fundraiser as well as 2nd in our costume contest. Two jobs very well done! Mid right: Fox tied Puddin' for top number of contributors. Far right: CynTax garnered the largest donation to a single skater and also showed her jamming endurance as she skated the most laps.

Top 5 fundraisers:
1. Bitch Puddin: an astounding $1,110!!!
2. Death by Dollface: $595
3. Retox Fox:  $571.20
4. Rot Wheels: $560
5. Pia Mess: $494.07

Honorable mentions at 6 & 7: Smack Dahlia $440 &  new recruit Jayanti $439.99
Most Pledges:
Bitch Puddin’ and Retox Fox: 18 each- tie
Death by Dollface: 15
Rot Wheels and Jayanti: 12 each- tie

Most Laps:

CynTax: 315 (that’s nearly 24 miles in 2 hours, folks!)

Death by Dollface: 276

LTO: 273

Rot Wheels: 268

Retox Fox: 262

And most importantly, Best Costume went to Weavin’ Kohl Bear, who came as Cruella de Vil, complete with a dalmation-decorated skate to tow. She narrowly defeated Bitch Puddin’s SVRG-colored lucha libre getup.

My personal favorite costumes, sported by two of our top fundraisers: Rot Wheels as a pregnant nun and Pia Mess as an American Gladiator.

We would like to issue a special thank you to our top donors. #1 fundraiser Bitch Puddin’ wants to give an extra shout out to the patrons of Fred’s Place, Teskes, and Henry’s Hi-Life for their contributions. Thanks to CynTax’s employer, Sunol Valley Golf Club.  Thank you to Steve Wozniak for his continued support of the team as well as pledges that helped individual skaters reach their goals. And a  special thanks to our superfan Arcady, who came out to see us at the Skate-o-thon and pledged $400 right on the spot!!

Thank you, everyone, for helping the Silicon Valley Roller Girls keep skating!! Now, come see the fruits of your donations at our last home bout on November 14th!

KillaBytes Topple Santa Cruz Harbor Hellcats, 122-109

SVRG, SCRG, and the SC groms after the bout. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

The KillaBytes were full of excitement for their fourth official bout of the season, and all the better that they were facing the Harbor Hellcats from SVRG’s favorite friendly rival, the Santa Cruz Derby Girls. The anticipation continued to build as the announcement was made that the Civic Auditorium had sold out and the teams would be facing off in front of a packed house of more than 1,100 derby fans. The KillaBytes wanted to hold on to SVRG’s reign after the Dot.Kamikazes defeated SCDG’s Boardwalk Bombshells in a thrilling throwdown this past June; the Harbor Hellcats were equally motivated to take back the crown and send the Valley girls home with a loss.

Although this was the first showdown for these teams, several players had encountered each other on the rink before. A few KillaBytes had played against the Hellcats before when the Bytes helped fill out the roster for the Brentwood Brawlin’ Betties earlier this year. Also, both the KillaBytes and the Hellcats roster for this game featured several A/B swing players that had played against each other when the A-teams faced off in June. There was plenty of new blood, however; both teams also featured skaters making their official bout debuts: Satan’s Kitten, Belle Wringer, and Beth Sentence for the KillaBytes and Hallie Peña Popper and Astrid Avenger for the Hellcats. Going into the match, the teams were well-matched on skill, experience, and, yes, a little bloodlust.

The KillaBytes had been practicing as a team leading up to the bout, but some last minute roster changes rattled their nerves a bit. Aim DeKill managed to contract an ear infection from the SVRG Jell-O wrestling fundraiser the previous weekend, so the KillaBytes were short one of their captains and a powerful pivot. The team resolved to win one for their MamaByte, and alternate Feisty Irish stepped in for blocking duty. The team suffered another roster shakeup right before the game when Juicy K. Tore, who was set to block and jam, got a nasty case of shin splints during the warmup. Santa Cruz graciously dispatched Shamrock N. Roller to try to soothe the Juice, but she was fearful of a recurrence during the game. With great disappointment, she requested that the second alternate, Smack Dahlia, come out of the stands to take her place, but Smack was only permitted to block. Because of the last minute change, Smack’s only warmup consisted of the rollout during the team introductions.

Left: Skoot and Fox hold the Santa Cruz jammer while Postal Servix whips off of The Beast. Right: Smack Dahlia and Beth Sentence wall up to contain the Santa Cruz blockers. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Now down a jammer, the pressure was on the KillaByte jammer rotation. Zootown Throwdown kicked off the bout with a 9-0 shutout jam, quickly followed by a 4-0 jam by Postal Servix to get the KillaBytes off to a strong start. Over the course of the game, Zootown scored a remarkable 55 points, Servix snagged lead jammer 7 times, and CynTax delivered a decisive high-scoring jam in the second half that sealed SCDG’s fate. Feisty Irish and SKooter Ov’r also took the line once each for SVRG. Santa Cruz relied mostly on the speedy Liv N. Letdie, Pippi Hardsocking, Kiki Clash, and Cleopatra Catastrophe at the jammer line. It was also worth noting that throughout the bout, jammers from both teams were aggressive, leading to some hot jammer-on-jammer action. Servix and Feisty Irish both went after their opposing jammers, and Santa Cruz’s Liv N. Letdie frequently engaged Zootown while Pippi Hardsocking bounced several blockers.

The game featured some killer defense. Top left: Some of The Beast’s aftermath. Top right: Fox socks a wincing Pippi. Bottom left: Beast and Dirty put the squeeze on Liv N. Letdie. Bottom right: Pigeon executes a killer C-block on Postal Servix. Photos by Kelco (top left, top right, bottom left) and Jim Cottingham (bottom right).

With such a speedy and effective group of jammers, both teams’ defense was crucial in this game. Indeed, the game was filled with solid blocks, relentless waterfalls, and killer hits. Co-captain Steffen Razor typically ran the front of the pack, with Servix, Smack, and Feisty also serving pivot duty. Beth Sentence, Belle Wringer, and Satan’s Kitten walled up with the pivot and helped hold the line against SCDG’s persistent jammers—no small feat given that the Santa Cruz track has tighter turns than most tracks, and thus additional dexterity and precision is required. Mauly Anna and Dirty Thirty used their experience to communicate with their teammates and moved around the pack to address the local threat. Feisty Irish was a constant menace, singlehandedly containing jammers at the back of the pack, while Retox Fox sat on jammers if they tried to force their way through the pack. The Beast was as formidable a force as always, bouncing jammers and blockers alike and leaving a trail of fallen girls in her wake. She met her match in Santa Cruz’s powerful Pigeon, and the fours often battled it out at the back of the pack, helping their respective jammers while putting their opponents on the floor. Indeed, these two ladies kept the crowd going wild watching their handiwork.

Left: SKoot provides some offensive coverage to jammer Zootown. Right: Coach Panda looks on as Hue Refner ejects SKooter for her fifth penalty in the half. Photos: Jim Cottingham

SKooter Ov’r also did considerable blocking for the KillaBytes, using her positional blocking skills as well as some killer curving hits to floor some jammers. Unfortunately, her big hits attracted attention from the refs, and she got boxed all too frequently—as in five-times-in-one-half too frequently. SKoot became the first KillaByte to be ejected from a game for penalty accumulation. But, as the Santa Cruz announcers noted, she did it while maintaining sportswomanlike behavior, and so after Hue Refner gave her the thumb-over-the-shoulder, they graced her with a farewell lap while the scoreboard flashed, “BAD GIRL.”

Coaches Left Turn Only and Pandamonium. Their brains are so in synch that their outfits naturally match themselves. Photo: Nocklebeast

The ejection left SVRG down a blocker, but at this point in the game each team was fighting to keep five on the track. The penalty whiteboard was filled with players who were one minor away from a trip to the box, and both teams’ coaches selectively staffed their jams hoping to keep as many players on the track as possible. With less than fifteen minutes left to go in the game, the two teams were still trading off jams and keeping the score tight. At this point it was clear just how evenly matched these teams were on skill—now it was a matter of strategy. SVRG coaches Pandamonium and Left Turn Only were ON IT. With one eye on the scoreboard, one eye on the penalty board, one eye on the box, one eye on the bench, and one eye on the emerging Santa Cruz lineup (yes, collectively they MUST have at least five eyes), they were able to decide on, condense, and dispatch strategies in the mere seconds between each jam. Their efforts showed a superhuman attention to every detail of the game and in the last minutes, it was their guidance that helped the KillaBytes pull ahead of the Hellcats and bring the win back to the Valley.

Some Dot.Kamikazes and other SVRG supporters shake up the stands as they cheer on the KillaBytes. Photos: Jim Cottingham

The KillaBytes would like to thank first and foremost their amazing coaches, Pandamonium, Left Turn Only, and Pia Mess for preparing them for this game; our wonderful pack o’ zebras; our awesome SVRG cheering section, who stirred up the arena despite being outnumbered 10 to 1; and the gracious hostesses with the mostesses, the fantastic ladies of SCDG. I am not alone in saying this was the most fun bout of the season, and we have Santa Cruz to thank for it. Thanks to the Santa Cruz Derby Groms for putting on such an amazing half-time show: it is refreshing to see the derby girls of tomorrow carrying the torch for our sport. Thanks to all of the photographers and videographers who helped film the bout, especially our team photographer Jim Cottingham. Thanks again to all of our fans, sponsors, and supporters. The KillaBytes will see you at our next home bout in November!

Want to hear more about the bout? Hit up Killer Vee’s writeup here. She’s got some great jam-by-jam data.

You can see Jim Cottingham’s photos here, Nocklebeast’s here, and Kelco‘s here.