Hall of Pain 2012 Edition

Hurry! Someone call the WHAMbulance!

It has been a while since we posted pics of our battle wounds. Here are some of our favorites in case there was any doubt in your mind that roller derby was a full-contact sport. WARNING: Don’t scroll down if you’re squeamish!

Skater Tots’ bionic ankle before

Skater Tots’ bionic ankle after

Spankin’ Firecracker’s hematoma from the Dust Devil Tournament

Sasha Degrader’s road rash from bouting in the parking lot at subZERO

Absolutely Scabulous’ bootyful bruise

Pins in Sasha Degrader’s Broken Thumb

Thanks to our medics for volunteering their time and expertise at our bouts and scrimmage practices:

Andrew Aragon
Karen Carlsen
Brandon Christensen
Jeff Chung
Katie Hensel
Isaak Huerta
Michelle Park

We also appreciate the generous services of our sponsor, Dr. Mike Rogerson. Rogerson Chiropractic is a family and sports chiropractic clinic in Santa Clara.

Hall of Pain: Steffen Razor’s knee

KillaByte co-captain, Dot.Kamikaze, and recently elected SVRG General Manager Steffen Razor knew she had knee surgery on the horizon, so she squeezed in one last skate at the Red Red Holiday tournament (where her team, Orange, came in 3rd) and then hopped on the surgical table four days later.

According to the doc, Stef’s knee problems preceded her derby involvement, but given the stress that derby puts on the knees, her sporting didn’t help. Essentially, her cartilage ended up with the consistency of sauerkraut, leading to fluid retention and stiffness in the knee. You can read the details about her injury and procedure at Rantin’ Razor.

In the meantime, send your well wishes and thoughts. Heal fast, Razor! Can’t wait to see you back on skates next season!

Foot pain: An inevitable consequence of roller derby?

Muy delicioso!

Yup, that’s my nasty foot. I suffer from perpetual blood blisters on the ball of my foot and my big toe, the occasional bonus on the arch if my other padding slips and starts rubbing the wrong way. I have been skating for almost a year and I have had bad blisters the entire time. I thought buying skates that fit would fix this issue (I had been wearing skates 1.5 sizes too big for the first 8 months), but I am still getting the rub. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so typically I can make it through practice, but it’s often painful enough the next day that I can’t walk normally. It also makes back-to-back practices very difficult because my feet don’t have enough time to heal.

Over the past year I received a lot of roller derby wisdom regarding how to treat them–pop them, drain them, cut them off, tape them, pad them, smack it up flip it rub it down oh noooooo!–with some of that advice working better than others. I must have spent $100 on different types of insoles. Nothing worked totally, though, so I gave up and decided to go see a pro. Here is some of the advice the podiatrist gave me. Mind, this is one doctor’s opinion, and of course everyone’s feet are different, so find what works for you:

1. If you have blood blisters, pierce them with a sterile needle and drain them.
If they are clear, leave them alone or use a blister treatment pad.

2. Never cut your calluses off with nail scissors, clippers, hedge trimmers,
your teef, etc. Wear them down a little once a week with a pumice stone.

3. Occasionally skaters will complain about a cramp on the side of the foot for the length of the foot. The doc says this is probably a consequence of skating–because you are lifting something heavy with your foot, the foot’s natural tendency is to activate the muscles and curl the foot up a bit. Because you can’t really relax the foot back and spread your foot flat in the skate after that tension when you’re skating hard, the foot can seize up and cramp. He said the best thing to do is when you come to rest or a normal skating position (not turning, which is when this is most likely to occur) try to flatten your foot in the skate, spreading your toes, or rub the top of your foot through the skate.

4. Finally, if you are padding a spot on your feet and it’s not working, be aware that it could be causing an imbalance elsewhere and thus causing other unpleasant symptoms. I had been putting thick padding (a big, squishy Bunga pad and/or cosmetic sponges) to protect the inside balls of my feet, but that was causing my foot not to rest flat in my skate, thus aggravating other parts of my foot, causing it to curl up unnaturally whenskating, and causing cramps and blisters elsewhere. That instability actually worsens the rubbing and the resultant blister. Instead, consider padding the non-aggravated area around the wound to keep the foot stable and make sure it rests evenly in the skate.

Anyway, I hope some of this information is useful for those of you who are out there suffering. If you’ve got another tip, be sure to share in the comments!

Hall of Pain: Death by Dollface’s shoulder

At practice on January 25th, an unruly shoelace felled the mighty Dollface by coming undone, wrapping around her skate, and causing her to plummet toward the concrete floor shoulder-first. The resulting injury was a rotator cuff tear with a nearly one-inch long break in the humerus. After nearly two months of pain and therapy, she underwent surgery on April 2; see pictures below. Now she is on the road to recovery, and SVRG eagerly awaits her return to the rink later this summer!

Hall of Pain: Feisty Irish breaks her nose

At our very first bout this season against Central Coast, Feisty took a sharp hit to the face. Putting the feist in feisty, she continued skating throughout the jam and waited until after the bout to hit the ER. Diagnosis: one broken nose. Here’s a supportive Donna Diggler pointing out the damage:

Fortunately Feisty’s healed completely!

Hall of Pain: Pia gets a shiner

Last night while scrimmaging Pia took not one but two hits to the eye…yowch! Pia had assured Lindsay Lohanded, who was returning from a knee injury, that she could hit Pia. After this blow, Pia said she should have clarified: “Legally!” Then she took a second hit to the same place, but she insisted on continuing to skate in the jam even as her eye nearly swelled shut. That’s some tough for ya!

UPDATE: Day 2. Look at that vibrant red! Be careful or Lady GaGa is going to rip that off for her next look.

Skater of the Month: Postal Servix

May Skater of the Month: Postal Servix! Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham

Postal Servix (formerly known as Secret Servix) is one of the KillaBytes’ secret weapons. She’s an all-around great skater with a jammer’s speed and a blocker’s killer hits (I can attest to this personally, having been knocked off my skates by one of her potent c-blocks!) Off the rink, she has helped coordinate volunteer opportunities for the team, including a demo at AchieveKids (where she teaches special needs students) and May’s volunteer event, the Walk for Autism.

How did you get into roller derby?

I saw an ad on Craigslist and became obsessed with the subculture! I have always loved to skate, but never fit in with the traditional jocks.

What kind of skating skills or athletic abilities did you have before starting derby?

I was a pretty good skater, but I wasn’t very agile and my endurance sucked. I have NEVER played a sport before. I was a marathon lounger.

How did you derive your derby name?

I like puns, and I like to play on the feminine moxie that makes roller derby so rad.

What is your greatest strength as a skater?

I’m a hard hitter, have decent speed and endurance, but I try really hard to be a team player. There can be no divas in derby!

What is your favorite derby memory?

Knocking our coach LTO on his butt during a hitting drill!

What was your worst injury, and how did you earn it?

I broke my ankle while standing in line for a drill. I kinda leave out the standing in line part when I tell the story though…

Check out this Hall of Pain action. Servix is now a bionic woman with an ankle made of STEEL!

Who are your favorite derby skaters, and why?

I love Demanda Riot for her swagger and amazing hitting form, and Brawllen Angel and Taxi Scab from BADG are amazing jammers.

Who are your biggest fans?

The parents of my students and my co-workers! They love watching a teacher kick butt! My family is back in the Midwest, so they haven’t seen me skate yet.

What’s your favorite thing about SVRG?

Being part of a team. My team is a huge part of my life, on and off the rink. It feels great to be a part of something so awesome.

What do you enjoy most about derby life off the rink?

Hanging with my girls, doing community service, and all of the fun events.

How do you spend the non-derby part of your life?

I love to read, knit, watch movies- I’m ready for some couch surfing after work and derby.

What’s the one piece of advice you would give women interested in playing roller derby?

Just like anything, it takes some time to get good, don’t give up!

Hall of Pain update: Double Knuckle$$’s arm hurts to look at

In case you didn’t see the previous post, Double Knuckle$$ had the misfortune of sustaining multiple falls right on the exact same durned spot before, during, and after May Day Massacre. She provided us with this visual update of her arm…yee-owch! I think it looks like she was stranded out on the tundra for a week and incurred severe frostbite. Don’t worry, she assured us it’s not going to fall off. Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery!

Hall of Pain: The Juice is bruised!

This is a classic from our files. Miss Juicy K. Tore thanks practicing C-blocks with Brawllen Angel for this beaut!

Welcome to the HALL OF PAIN

I’m sure other skaters have had the experience: you tell an acquaintance that you play roller derby, and the look in their eyes means you might as well have told them that you’re really into S & M, or that you worship the devil: it’s a blend of bewilderment, suspicion, curiosity, and a little bit of fear: who is this person? She seemed like such a nice, normal girl…Now they will think of you as the chick who gets off on repeatedly slamming her body into other girls with the goal of destruction.  On the plus side, they probably won’t take any more office supplies off your desk.

Some people still question the verity of roller derby. As a lifelong athlete I feel no need to make an argument that roller derby is a sport: if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here. I understand that back in the day roller derby was more of a spectacle in the vein of professional wrestling–but looking at WFTDA leagues and aspirers like us, you’ll see we’re playing a rough and tough but rule-bound sport. I like to tell people that roller derby is kind of like football, but with less padding and a concrete floor–that usually gets the message out that despite the fishnets and the lipstick, we ain’t messin’ around. The physical demands are as intense as any sport I’ve played, if not moreso. The variety of skills you must learn is as challenging as other of life’s pleasures, like statistics and laproscopic surgery. In derby, you must maximize your endurance, balance, strength, agility, durability, and resilience. Especially resilience: there is no doubt that at some point, you will get beat down, and you have got to get back on your skates as soon as humanly possible–whether that’s in 3 seconds or after surgery and six months of recovery. That’s the steel will of a derby girl.

And here, with the Hall of Pain, we will present you with an ongoing gallery of SVRG’s bruises and breaks, sprains and strains, separations and dislocations. We want you to know that our injuries are real, and that these the risks we undertake for the love of our sport.  Here are a couple of our recent spills and the aftermath. Enjoy!

Double Knuckle$$ shows off a week's worth of falls on her elbow.

Pia Mess shows off a palette of colors on her elbow earned during SVRG's victory over ShEvil Dead at the May Day Massacre.

Texas ChanaSaw Massacre broke her hand in her first encounter with a banked track...and can't wait to skate on it again!