SVRG Team Jock Trounces Team Geek in Exhibition Bout, 84-23

It was a toasty 96 degrees in San Jose on Sunday, and undoubtedly hotter than that on the sizzling sport court at Roosevelt Park, but the ladies of SVRG sweat it out in their crowd-pleasing exhibition bout this Sunday.

SVRG mixed up the KillaBytes and Dot.Kamikazes to create two teams, Team Jock (in black jerseys, for extra warmth of course) and Team Geek (in white jerseys). Geek Satan’s Kitten and Jocks Bitch Puddin’ and yours truly, Retox Fox, enjoyed our very first bout action. The Undie Taker was back on skates after recovering from a knee injury. The bout also represented Texas ChanaSaw Massacre’s joyful return to the rink after recovering from a broken hand. With the booty hits she was doling out on the rink, though, you’d never know she’d been deprived of derby action for six weeks!

Before the bout began, the skaters had to adjust to the odd sport court surface. Rather than a smooth surface, the rink at Roosevelt Park  is made of tiles, which makes skating a little bumpy and falls much less pleasant as the body is dragged across the ridges in between the tiles. The floor is also a bit stickier than a normal surface, which means the skaters have to work much harder to push and gain speed. It also means that when you fall, your skin sticks, which can lead to some major rink rash.

Team Jock, captained by MisTits, succeeded by playing strategically, often holding back their pack to ensure that a 20-foot call would free their jammers at the front. (Players must be within 20 feet of the pack to engage a jammer, so by slowing their team down, they regulated the location of the pack and forced Team Geek to abandon pursuit of the Jock jammer.) Team Jock’s blockers, including the power of MisTits, Lizapalooza, Feisty Irish, and Steffen Razor, succeeded in taking out or holding back the Team Geek jammers, which helped maximize the point differential bolstered by the Jocks’ strong jamming.

For Team Jock, Jocks Smashleigh and Zootown Throwdown had the highest scoring jams of the day, each making a 15-point pass. Zoo was the highest scorer of the game, racking up 32 points total. After several successful jams in the first half, Jock Smashleigh did some mighty impressive puking during halftime. However, she returned to the rink to both block and jam for the second half. Terribelle Demise had the most fun jamming against her derby wife, Postal Servix, whom she “love tapped” out of play in order to take the lead. Spankin’ Firecracker, Dirty Thirty, Lizapalooza, and Feisty Irish also took turns at the line jamming for the Jocks.

Team Geek was captained by Smack Dahlia,  the team’s top scoring jammer, who scored 11 of her team’s points. The indomitable Rot Wheels gets my vote for MVP. Not only did she singlehandedly capture Jock jammers at the front of the pack on multiple jams, but the heat seemed to have no effect whatsoever on her amazing endurance–she pivoted jam after jam after jam and was no worse for wear by the end of the bout. Juicy K. Tore (despite her spewing) and SKooter Ov’r were persistent in sticking on a particular skater and making her miserable, while Cole Cocked and Aim De Kill often worked as a cohesive unit to hold back the Jock jammer or clear the path for their own jammer. Satan’s Kitten bravely jammed several times during her debut, showing remarkable endurance as she bounced back from Team Jock’s merciless blocking. CynTax, Postal Servix, The Undie Taker, and SKooter Ov’r also jammed for the Geeks.

Jocks Steffen Razor, Zootown Throwdown, and Dirty Thirty, as well as Geeks Mauly Anna, Aim De Kill, Postal Servix, and CynTax deserve special recognition for coming out to skate in our toasty exhibition bout even after playing with the Brentwood Brawlin’ Bettys last night. The ability to push your body to perform at such a level of intensity twice in less than 24 hours is an amazing feat of athleticism–wow, ladies!

The zebra crew also deserves a big thanks for enduring the heat with us. Texas T-Bag head reffed; Weavin’ Kohl Bear watched the inside pack; Irish Gunslinger and Johnny Demonic served as jam refs; and two guest refs, Winne Baygo and Tall Can from the Santa Cruz Derby Girls, graciously came to help us out as outside pack refs. Se7en Year Bitch and Kyle managed the stats.

We also want to thank our fresh meat for helping the bout run smoothly. Beth womanned the penalty board, Katy deftly handled the penalty timers (which were busy all game long!), and Megan handled penalty tracking. Sammie and Soda PopHer managed the merch table, and Jaz solicited donations as Giga Girl. It’s great to have such an enthusiastic group of new recruits–thanks ladies!

Special thanks to Mr. Juge, who worked hard to keep us hydrated, even as he was celebrating his birthday!

Also a HUGE thank you to our team doc, Dr. Tony Kearns, for being on site during the bout. Those biohazard bags came in mighty handy for our multiple pukers!

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Filed under Roller Derby, SVRG Events

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