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Win, Lose, or Tie, SVRG ‘til We Die!

On Saturday, June 23rd at San Jose Skate, SVRG hosted teams from Salt Lake City, Utah, and San Luis Obispo County for a double header that kept fans cheering for 4 hours of non-stop derby action. If you missed out, here’s a recap.

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Ali3 Kitt3n paws at Pia Mess

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Ali3 Kitt3n paws at Pia Mess

Dot.Kamikazes vs. Wasatch Midnight Terror

The girls from Salt Lake City used the successful tactic of getting lead and calling off the jam before SVRG had a chance to score. Wasatch secured lead jammer 4 times as often as the Dots, and the score inched up as Wasatch nickel-and-dimed their way while holding SVRG scoreless.

It was Lindsay Lohanded’s first game back from medical leave this season; and she made a fierce 2-woman wall with Catherine Beata Bones. However, the Dots served double the time that Wasatch spent in the box, and a halftime score of 132-35 didn’t bode well. For a play-by-play of the 2nd period, read the textcast on Derby News Network.

Throughout the game, Wasatch rotated 4 jammers—Ali3 Kitt3n, Harry Slaughter, Moon Raker (high-scorer with 91 points), and Skull Candi. SVRG named Ali3 Kitt3n as Wasatch’s MVP, and Wasatch chose SVRG’s Catherine Beata Bones for MVP in recognition of her amazing blocking skills. Pia Mess was the Dots’ high-scoring jammer with a total of 36 points.

It’s midpoint in the season, and Wasatch Roller Derby’s Midnight Terror came from Utah to contend for seeding at the WFTDA Western Regional Playoffs. Wasatch’s defeat of SVRG (261-70) and Santa Cruz (158-69) during their West Coast tour gives them a shot at the playoffs between the top 10 teams in the region this fall. At the end of the 1st quarter, SVRG was ranked 12th, Wasatch was 15th, and Santa Cruz was 17th in the West. We’ll have to wait and see how these games affect the 2nd quarter standings.

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Asian Orange, Avida Sane, and Skirt Vonna-Gut contain 5 Cities Roller Kitties' jammer

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Asian Orange, Avida Sane, and Skirt Vonna-Gut contain 5 Cities Roller Kitties’ jammer

KillaBytes vs. 5 Cities Roller Kitties

The catfight between San Luis Obispo County’s Kitties and the KillaBytes was one of many firsts. It was Evel Kniebreaker’s first time on a Killa’s roster, and Volcanic Ash’s first bout skating with SVRG after transferring from Sin City Rollergirls. It was the Killa’s first win by a landslide 250 points and the first time any SVRG jammer scored 33 points in a single jam.

The Killas showed strong defensive skills, holding the Kitties scoreless in 21 out of 33 total jams. By the end of the 1st period, the Killas had already secured a 139-point lead (174-35). During a Kitties’ power jam in the 2nd half, with only 2 Killas (Surge and Evel Kniebreaker) on the track, SVRG’s 2-woman wall was able to hold the Kitties’ jammer back for a while.

In the 12th jam of the 2nd period, the crowd witnessed a rare moment in derby when Juicy K. Tore passed the star to Skirt Vonna-Gut who caught a unicorn on a power jam and kept going to score a total of 33 points in a single jam! They were assisted by their fearsome pack—Jem Jones, Culo Whippin’, and Asian Orange—who took a knee on the jammer line for an immediate panty pass at the start.

S.S. BattelHips led the Kitties with most points, being accountable for 24 of the 68 total points scored during the bout. Almost all the Killas took turns jamming, and the high-scorers of the night were Skirt Vonna-Gut with 52 points and Evel Kniebreaker with 39 points. Mad 4 Gravy, Juicy K. Tore, and Avida Sane scored 33 points each. The final score was 318-68.

Thanks to Wasatch Midnight Terror and the 5 Cities Roller Kitties for two great games. We appreciate all our fans, medics, Dr. Mike Rogerson chiropractor, officials, coaches, and photographers (Donalee Eiri, Mike Ko, and Mark Nockleby) for volunteering their time and talents.


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Richmond Trounces Dots and Mendo Brings Mayhem

Did you miss our May 19th double header at San Jose Skate? Here’s a recap.

©2012 beakertehmuppet, SVRG’s Pia Mess gets between B.A.D.’s Demanda Riot and Chiquita Bonanza

©2012 beakertehmuppet, SVRG’s Pia Mess gets between B.A.D.G’s Demanda Riot and Chiquita Bonanza

Dot.Kamikazes Lose to B.A.D. Girls’ Richmond Wrecking Belles 238-89

In the first few jams, SVRG countered the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls’ scrum starts with a hit-it-and-quit-it lead jammer strategy, effectively keeping the Wrecking Belles from scoring. But in the 4th jam, the Belles’ lead jammer Chiquita Bonanza scored 11 points to pull ahead. The Wrecking Belles kept crowding the jammer line on a knee to immediately start the jam, and the Dots kept calling it off before Richmond could score any time we had lead jammer status.

The Wrecking Belles’ defensive blockers were a force to be reckoned with, and on several occasions our jammers had trouble getting out of the pack on their initial pass. However, SVRG’s jammers Bad Tempt-Her and Pia Mess did pull out some jammer-on-jammer action. Even the fearsome Demanda Riot was toppled by SVRG’s Bionic BabyDoll as well as by Absolutely Scabulous, but Richmond’s plays were simply better overall. Numerous penalties resulted in high-scoring power jams, like the one in which Skater 26, Chantilly Mace, scored a whopping 34 points. The Wrecking Belles ran away with it and by the end of the first half had a 98-point lead.

The Dots maintained their reputation as a strong second-half team, and kept up the fight. Highlights included a star pass from Smack Dahlia to her pivot Bionic BabyDoll and a 9-point jam with Zootown Throwdown as lead jammer combined with a tight SVRG defense, which allowed the Dots to put some points on the board. Nevertheless, the deficit was too great to make a comeback, especially after Kitt Turbo passed the star to Demanda Riot racking up a total of 25 points in a single jam to pass the 2nd century mark. Proving that we won’t roll over easily, Bad Tempt-Her scored 24 points in the last power jam. The Wrecking Belles won the game 233-89.

©2012 beakertehmuppet, Avida Sane gets a unicorn in the final jam.

©2012 beakertehmuppet, Avida Sane almost gets a unicorn in the final jam.

KillaBytes Defeated by Mendo Mayhem 268-128

Our derby sisters from Mendocino County traveled to San Jose to play the Killas. It was good to see SVRG’s Mad 4 Gravy and Bitch Puddin’ back on the track for the first time this season since recovering from injuries.

Mendo took the lead early on in the 3rd jam, when a major cut by Bullet Sucker left their jammer, ariel-LA-twister, to jam unopposed and grab 24 points. Still on a power jam in the 4th, Mendo took a knee on the jammer line for an immediate start. Nonetheless, Mendo’s jammer Pain Galuara had trouble getting around a fierce wall made by Booty Vicious, Culo Whippin’, and Jem Jones on her initial pass. It was a different story for Pain Galuara in the 10th jam when she made 7 laps around the track for 28 points with only 2 SVRG blockers on the track. The score was 171-41 in Mendo’s favor at the half.

Overall, Mendo was delivering some hard hits. There were penalties aplenty: JC’s Cassius Clay spent the most time in the box for Mendo and all but 2 Killas served time in the sin bin. SVRG’s jammers Mongoose and Avida Sane scored the most points for the Killas, while ariel-LA-twister, Pain Galaura, and Chica Boom piled up the points for Mendocino County.

It was déjà vu all over again when Avida Sane fought to the finish, scoring 24 points in the final jam. Mendo upset the Killas in a decisive defeat 268-128.

In both bouts SVRG made a solid effort, but our opponents nabbed lead jammer status more often. We’d like to thank the Wrecking Belles and Mendo Mayhem for giving us a level of play to strive for. This summer slump isn’t going to last long with our renewed training efforts!

$10 Tickets to Our Next Home Bout

Come watch the Dots contend for a spot at the Western Regional Playoffs in a pivotal game against Wasatch on June 23rd. Afterwards, the Killas will catfight…bout the 5 Cities Roller Kitties, that is. As a way of saying thanks to our loyal fans, we’re offering a summer special—tickets for only 10 bucks! Get ‘em at Brown Paper Tickets before they’re sold out.

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Canada Rolls through NorCal

The Terminal City Rollergirls made the trek all the way from Vancouver to take on Sacred City, Santa Cruz, and SVRG. Our Dot.Kamikazes played Terminal City’s All-Stars in a WFTDA-sanctioned bout on Sunday, April 29th at San Jose Skate. This closed bout wasn’t open to the general public, so here’s a recap of the action.

©2012 Nicolas Charest, SVRG’s Belle Wringer helps Catherine Beata Bones get lead jammer status over Terminal City’s Kim Janna

©2012 Nicolas Charest, SVRG’s Belle Wringer helps Catherine Beata Bones get lead jammer status over Terminal City’s Kim Janna

After being held scoreless for two jams, the Dots took the lead in the third jam with Mongoose’s 13-point power jam and held it for 11 jams, when a lead change put Terminal City on top for the duration of the bout.

Terminal City made a total of 6 successful star passes and one failed attempt right off the jammer line over a knee-down start. SVRG also tried this tactic when Absolutely Scabulous passed the panty to Belle Wringer in the final jam of the 1st period. That’s something that you don’t see too often. As a result, there were a bunch of jams called off before anyone could score and many others where the lead jammer hit-it-and-quit-it as soon as she was able to make her scoring pass.

From the first whistle, we could tell that this was going to be a very physical game. The Canadians brought a level of aggression born of hockey and universal health care. SVRG’s Sasha Degrader, Belle Wringer, Spankin’ Firecracker, and Tennessee Smitan dished out some punishment of their own. Catherine Beata Bones and Pia Mess gave TCRG’s Hittin’ Miss and Luludemon some jammer-on-jammer action. During the 2nd period, the formidable wall of Sasha Degrader, Smash N’ Burn, and Spankin’ Firecracker held Terminal City’s jammer Kim Janna for an entire lap. But the ladies in black held up some tight defensive walls themselves, and widened the gap on the scoreboard.

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Sasha Degrader extends a hand to give Pia Mess a whip

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Sasha Degrader extends a hand to give Pia Mess a whip

Pia Mess was the high-scorer for the Dots with 39 points total, 19 of which were earned in the final jam of the game. Belle Wringer and Zootown Throwdown assisted by clearing a path for Pia during that last push power jam.

Terminal City won 179-88, adding to their 116-94 victory against the Santa Cruz Bombshells on Saturday. Quite a comeback after losing Friday’s scrimmage to Sacred City that ended with a hospitalized teammate. We’re happy everyone made it home safely and hope to visit Vancouver someday for a rematch.

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Dots 2-for-4 at the Dust Devil

The Dot.Kamikazes were invited to compete in the 2012 Dust Devil Tournament from April 13-15 in Tucson, AZ. Rocky Mountain Fight Club took home the championship trophy. Silicon Valley placed 6th out of 10 teams, putting us at #12 overall in the Western Region according to Flat Track Stats.

Smash N’ Burn and Tennessee Smitan hammer-and-nail Victorian’s jammer. Photo by Masonite Burn Photography.

Smash N’ Burn and Tennessee Smitan hammer-and-nail Victorian’s jammer. ©2012 Masonite Burn Photography

Bout #1 Loss to Arizona Roller Derby

On Day 1 of the Dust Devil, the Dots were met with a 258-93 loss to tournament co-hosts, AZRD’s Tent City Terrors. Arizona’s roster included some formidable opponents who had recently transferred to AZRD, including Hockey Honey (former Oly Roller), Joy Collision (from Charm City), and Cybil War (from Philly).

The Tent City Terrors took the lead on the scoreboard from the first jam and held on to it for the duration of the bout. Kozmo Trouble and SVRG’s blockers made a solid effort to hold back Arizona’s jammers, but a number of penalties and some smart offensive defense by AZ led to a widening gap on the scoreboard. At one point, Smash N’ Burn was the only player on the track for the Dots. AZRD held SVRG scoreless for 7 jams straight, while AZ racked up 62 more points for a score of 109-38 with one jam left in the first half.

In the second period, Arizona’s jammers Joy Collision and Sigmund Droid each had unicorns (25-point jams), with a full bench in the box for SVRG. The Dots put the hurt on and fought to the end, but AZRD ran away with it.

Bout #2 Win over Assassination City

On Day 2 of the Dust Devil, the Dots were pitted against the girls from Dallas, Assassination City’s Special Ops. After 3 lead changes on the scoreboard in the beginning of the 1st period, it seemed like it was going to be a close game.

Then SVRG started to pull away in the 7th jam, taking advantage of a power jam. Next, Pia Mess went through the pack like a bolt of lightning to grab a unicorn for the Dots. The following two jams were scoreless as Assassination City secured lead jammer status and called it off before any points could be scored. But when SVRG had lead jammer for four jams in a row and employed a strong defensive wall in the back, the numbers started climbing to end at 98-54 at half time.

SVRG’s Smack Dahlia breached the century mark in the first jam of the 2nd period. Dallas’ Lickety jammed unopposed getting 3 grand slams to close the gap in the 3rd jam, until Absolutely Scabulous dropped her and sent her to the penalty box for a major cut. The Dots stayed in the lead for the rest of the bout.

There were some nice whips by SVRG’s Bionic BabyDoll and Tennessee Smitan, and a beautiful apex jump by our jammer Bad Tempt-Her. Overall, SVRG employed some great defense; even the jammers were hitting hard.

Assassination City finally made it to the century mark with a score of 163-106 in the 14th jam of the 2nd period. After an action-packed second half ending with 2 grand slams by Smack Dahlia, the Dots won 181-118.

Absolutely Scabulous gets lead jammer over Rage City. ©2012 Masonite Burn Photography.

Absolutely Scabulous gets lead jammer over Rage City. ©2012 Masonite Burn Photography

Bout #3 Win over Rage City

The Dots took their second win of the day by sweeping the Rage City Rollergirls of Anchorage, Alaska, by 145 points. SVRG’s Kozmo Trouble sat out Day 2 of the tournament due to a shoulder injury from the first day. Rage City’s Tenacious Leigh still played despite taking a skate to the eye on Day 1 of the tournament.

SVRG had lead jammer in the first two jams followed by a power jam, leaving Rage City scoreless until the fourth jam. The Dots controlled the pack with some tight walls. A power jam for Rage City allowed them to put some numbers on the board, but SVRG was still in the lead 54-17.

Rage City racked up the penalties, and Blitzkrieg Baker fouled out in the first period. Rage City nickel-and-dimed it, but SVRG widened the gap to 109-38 at the half.

The Dots kept getting lead jammer leaving Rage City with a 96-point deficit by the first 10 minutes of the second period. Rage City put on the heat with some close hits, but SVRG’s jammer Absolutely Scabulous hit back and fought to break through, raising the score to 181-55.

In a tactical move, Smack Dahlia was called for “cougaring” (taking an intentional minor) so she could wait out her time in the box before donning the star again. This way, smart jammers can help their team by sitting out as a blocker instead of as a jammer. Rage City didn’t let up with the hits, but SVRG’s evasion skills were keen, dominating the game 215-70.

Bout #4 Loss to Victorian

Day 3 gave the Dots a chance to take on the Victorian Roller Derby All Stars from Melbourne, Australia. It was a well-matched, very physical game, but the Dots lost to the Aussies.

Despite some solid defense from SVRG, Victorian secured lead jammer in the first two jams. The Dots took the lead in the third jam to pull ahead 18-9. Another lead change occurred with SVRG’s jammer Pia Mess in the box, leaving the score 33-30 for Victorian. SVRG’s jammers couldn’t stay out of the penalty box, resulting in a half-time lead of 65 points in Victorian’s favor.

The Dots slowly put some numbers on the board in the second half to push the century mark, but Victorian still held the lead. Victorian won with a final score of 239-104.

SVRG thanks Tucson and AZRD for hosting a great tournament! Everyone had fun and we hope Buggs, the tiny dog, is doing well.

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Head-to-Head Battle with Santa Cruz Ends in Victory for SVRG

by Bitch Puddin’

The March 24th home opener against our rivals from over the hill was nothing less than amazing! Two bouts pitted both the travel and B teams of Silicon Valley and Santa Cruz against each other.

SVRG’s Dot Kamikazes vs. SCDG’s Boardwalk Bombshells

SVRG’s Kozmo Trouble and Sasha Degrader hold off SCDG’s Foxee Firestorm, ©2012 Mark Nockleby

©2012 Mark Nockleby,
SVRG’s Kozmo Trouble and Sasha Degrader hold off SCDG’s Foxee Firestorm

Both teams were well matched, staying within points of each other the entire bout. From the start it was all hit-it-and-quit-it, with the lead jammers getting their points and calling off the jam, doing what they could to prevent the opposing jammer from scoring. The Bombshells took the lead early and often at the beginning but were quickly taken over by the Dot’s strong walls.

There were five lead changes in the first half including one with the Bombshells on a power jam. That was immediately followed by the Dots gaining four points tying the game 39-39. By half time, SVRG claimed the lead 48-39.

Silicon Valley kept racking up points in the second half but the Bombshells took advantage of their power jams to stay in the game. With 8:51 to go and a score of 97-78, the Dot’s Smack Dahlia took advantage of a power jam bringing the score to 107-78.

In the last jam, SVRG’s jammer was in the box giving the Bombshells’ Candy Hooligan a power jam. Nevertheless, the Dots held their own and Sasha Degrader was able to get in a big hit on Candy before she was able to call off the jam. Although the Bombshells fought strong and hard to the end, the Dot.Kamikazes won 112-99.

Sasha Degrader was named MVP of the game for the Dot.Kamikazes and Shamrock N. Roller for the Bombshells.

SVRG’s KillaBytes vs. SCDG’s Harbor Hellcats

Ladies in Green from Left to Right: Culo Whip, LauRAWR, Jem Jones, and Juicy K. Tore, ©2012 Derek P. Opdyke

©2012 Derek P. Opdyke, DPO Photography,
Ladies in Green from Left to Right: Culo Whippin’, LauRAWR, Jem Jones, and Juicy K. Tore

The Killas and the Hellcats were as closely matched as the Dots and the Bombshells making for an equally exciting bout. The jammers took turns taking the lead with the help of strong packs on both teams.

During jam 11, Killa’s jammer Bad Tempt-Her made such an amazing powerhouse move out of the pack that a spectator was overheard saying, “It’s like she just shot out of a gun!”

In the following jam, Polly Kneesya of the Hellcats jammed against Skirt Vonna-Gut of the Killas. Polly got lead while Skirt went to the box causing a lead change 38-34 in favor of the Hellcats.

In jam 14 Culo Whippin’, one of the newest additions to the KillaBytes, beautifully executed a block and whip assist to get her jammer Mongoose through a wall of three blockers. The Hellcats were in the lead 54-37 at the end of the first half.

In the second half, Bad Tempt-Her was able to take out the Hellcat’s jammer Septicemia so Lizapalooza could take lead jammer, but Bad ended up in the penalty box in the process.

Thanks to a grand slam by Mongoose, the Killas were able to bring the score closer by jam 6, putting them only 7 points behind the Hellcats.

The lead change came in jam 8 with Zootown Throwdown getting a grand slam bringing the score to 60-59. Then quickly the tables turned as the Killa’s jammer was sent to the box and the Hellcats retorted with a grand slam of their own taking back the lead 69-60.

Killa’s Culo Whippin’ made her jammer debut against Polly in jam 11 forcing Polly to call the jam with no points scored by either jammer.

The following jams were tight but the Killas worked their way up the scoreboard. By jam 18 the Killas took the lead with a score of 87-81 but the Hellcats were still putting up a fight.

With 20 seconds left and a score of 91-89, Bad Tempt-Her and Septicema met on the jammer line for the final jam of the night. Bad got lead and called it off, keeping the final score at 91 KillaBytes – 89 Hellcats.

Jem Jones was named MVP of the bout for the Killas and Ace Wenchura for the Hellcats. The energy, excitement, and hard work exhibited by all the girls promises a season of fierce battles. You won’t want to miss a single bout!

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Dot.Kamikazes Blast through Derby Tournament Season for WFTDA Rankings!

It was an incredible tournament season for SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes as they began the journey to becoming a nationally-ranked WFTDA team!


Pia Mess takes on some jammer-on-jammer action at the Wild West Showdown. Photo by Joe Rollerfan


At the Wild West Showdown in Bremerton, Washington, the Dots made a very big showing in their first tournament as a member of WFTDA by winning all 3 of their bouts with a seriously impressive point spread.

First up, they rolled out against Tacoma’s Dockyard Derby Dames, also new to the WFTDA and currently unranked. In the end, the Dots were making waves that the Dockyard Dames just couldn’t handle, and won 216-58.

After a full day of rest, the Dots were up against #21 in the region, the Sin City Roller Girls. In the end Sin City was thwarted 198-64. Two hours later they were back in action against Lava City’s Smokin’ Ashes from Bend, OR; currently ranked 19 in the west. The Smokin’ Ashes were stomped out with a final score of 226-59.

Earlier this month at the Dust Devil in Tuscon, Arizona, the Dots also won the first 2 of the 4 games they played, against some seriously high-end WFTDA-ranked derby competition!

On day one, they squashed Assassination City, ranked #16 in the South Central region,  258-40. The Dots then went on to trump Pikes Peak, ranked #10 in the west, 168-72. The following day proved much more challenging, as the level of competition sky-rocketed. The Dots gave Tucson (#9 in the west) a run for their money with a final score of 109-91, Tucson; followed by another close match against Angel City (#12 in the west), with ACDG coming ahead 143-118.

These events counted towards SVRG’s WFTDA national rankings, which dictate whether SVRG will be in the Western Regional Competition this fall! Ranking updates will be out soon, so stay tuned! Ctrl+Alt+Del!

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SVRG KillaBytes destroy Humboldt Redwood Rollers, 259-121; Dot.Kamikazes felled by Humboldt All-Stars, 125-75

Two great bouts! Sorry we don’t have any pictures to share (let us know if you find any!) Check out this article from the front page of the sports section in the Humboldt Times-Standard.

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