Tag Archives: Double Knuckle$$

SVRG has a fun and derbyful weekend

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ season officially ended at the November bout, but we’ve still been workin’ it out and taking any derby opportunity that rolls our way. This weekend SVRG members made appearances at Red Red Holiday, a mixed scrimmage hosted by Sac City, and a scrap team (translation: anyone who had the time & money to travel) meandered down to face some of the San Diego Derby Dolls.

Red Red was particularly exciting this year because we got to send a lot of our new blood for some scrimmage experience. In addition to SVRG vets Steffen Razor (Team Orange) and MisTits (Dark Green), five of our interns got their first taste of bouting: Bozo Disposo (Dark Blue), Cannonball Iztik (Black), Absolutely Scabulous (Red), Blanca Basura Barbie (Pink) and Catherine Beata Bones (Light Green). The ladies had a wonderful time, and three were on the top teams. Barbie’s team, Pink (too appropriate!), took first place, MisTits’s Dark Green took second, and Steffen’s Orange took third. Congratulations!

In the meantime, a bunch of scrappers were bouting in San Diego. There was a question of whether the bout would even take place, because the roof at the Del Mar Fairgrounds was leaking in several places above the concrete track. Thing is, you can’t just tell derby girls there’s no derby. After consulting both teams, SDDD’s Bonnie D. Stroir declared that the game would go on, with some brave volunteers actively toweling the wet spots on the floor.

Because SVRG couldn’t field a whole team, we were grateful for the assistance of a couple of Central Coast Roller Derby ladies, Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware, to help fill our roster. Ivana joined Pia Mess, Death by Dollface, CynTax, and Betta Watchit (in her bout debut)  in the jamming rotation, while Rot Wheels, Kimfectious, Lizapalooza, Belle Wringer, Satan’s Kitten, Bitch Puddin’, Retox Fox, and BootyVicious performed blocker duties. Refs Texas Tea Bag and All Nate Long made the trip with the team, and the most honorable Aim De Kill tackled lineups for the group since her knee injury kept her off the track.

The game was a close one, with SVRG up by only ten points at half time. The tide turned in the second half, however, when SVRG often had more players in the penalty box than on the track. On numerous occasions SVRG was plagued by confusion, because a skater would get sent to the box only to find it chock full of her teammates, at which point she would have to return to the track until she was sent back. Before the midpoint of the second half, SVRG was down two skaters as both Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware had been ejected. SDDD wisely used their perpetual blocker advantage; having more blockers on the floor for nearly every jam allowed them to play woman-on-woman defense and keep one blocker solely on the SVRG jammer, limiting SVRG’s scoring. SDDD also made the most of a couple of power jams when SVRG had their jammer in the box. Gradually, they inched closer and closer, finally securing the lead in the last three jams of the night. SDDD defeated the SVRG scrappers, 97-82. One of our photographers, Adrian Valenzuela, made the trip down with us and you can see a couple of his shots here and a full Flickr set here. You can also check out other pics from the game here.

But the derby wasn’t over for the weekend. SDDD graciously hosted us at their amazing warehouse the next day so some of us could skate on a banked track for the first time. As Satan’s Kitten noted, we were all “SVRG green with envy” about the team’s space, which had room for a banked track, a regular track, workout equipment, lounging area, kids’ play area, and plenty of storage. Some of our previous night’s opponents, Bully Julie and Lila Monster, were there to give us some lessons on how to maximize our speed, hit legally, and take hits on the rail. Despite getting a serious workout the night before, we were all super psyched for the opportunity to skate on the banked track. THANK YOU SDDD and especially Julie and Lila for letting us come skate! You all are awesome!

L: SVRG hearts SDDD! On couch, Lila Monster, Bitch Puddin', Retox Fox, and Satan's Kitten; standing, Bully Julie and Belle Wringer. R: Belle, Kitten, Kimfectious, and Fox on the banked track.

L: Kimfectious and Betta Watchit on the rails. R: Kitten roars on the track.

Of course, that’s not enough derby for some of us. Some of the girls who had skated this weekend (Steffen, Dollface, Disposo, Belle, Fox, and Kimfectious) joined their teammates in welcoming some of the Santa Cruz Derby Girls for a mixed scrimmage last night. Lulu Lockjaw, Hell Louise, Pippi Hardsocking, Roxy Scarmichael, and CinZilla came out to skate with us and it was a fun evening for all. Thanks to all the refs and NSOs who made it possible, and a personal thanks to Broken Baby Doll, Panda, and the rest of the crew who came to my aid after my injury. Congratulations to Team Girth (Pandamonium, Hell Louise, Smack Dahlia, Lindsay Lohanded, Beth Sentence, Donna Diggler, Steffen, Fox, and Knuckles) who defeated Team White (Lulu, Dollface, Pippi, Roxy, CinZilla, Belle, Kimfectious, Smash ‘n’ Burn, and Disposo). Thanks to Jim Cottingham, who came out to photograph us (pics here), and a big thanks to SCDG for coming to visit!

Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

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SVRG double header a double triumph: KillaBytes bury the Undead Bettys and Dot.Kamikazes take down the Redwood Rollers

SVRG closed out a stellar season with double wins as the KillaBytes defeated the Brentwood Undead Bettys 155-104 and the Dot.Kamikazes beat the Humboldt Redwood Rollers 159-63.

The KillaBytes, who hadn’t played a home game since May, brought in the crowds for their second home bout during the 2009 season. Considering their last bout was in August, the team was reared up and ready to take on Brentwood’s Undead Bettys last Saturday.

Although the Killas and the Bettys had not yet faced off, some of the Killas had skated with the Bettys earlier in the season against the Santa Cruz Harbor Hellcats. In the spirit of sharing, some of the Santa Cruz women helped the Bettys fill out their roster for this bout. Don’t let the numbers fool, you, though; although the Bettys may have trouble fielding 14 of their own for an away bout, they have a strong core of skaters and the Killas knew they would be tough opponents.

Given the Bettys’ lineup of brutal blockers, including Lisafer, Luna Tix, and Cemetery Mary, the Killas’ theme for the night seemed to be “Help Your Jammer Out.”  After a close first half, the Killas had crept ahead of the Bettys, 76 to 61. The KillaBytes continued to employ a number of strategies that ensured that their jammers would get the support they needed to make it through the pack efficiently and put points on the board.

Left: Dirty Thirty and Texas ChanaSaw Massacre wall up. Right: Belle Wringer, Retox Fox, and Aim De Kill pin some Bettys to clear a route for Postal Servix (Photo credits: Nocklebeast).

These strategies resulted in several high-scoring, grand-slamming jams. Zootown Throwdown, who was named the KillaBytes’ MVP by the Bettys, threw down 84 points in 11 jams, including a 20-point jam in the second half. Postal Servix toed the line 12 times, bringing home 47 points, including a 15-point jam—a remarkable feat considering the fact that a) she had to roll right in to skate for the Dot.Kamikazes in the next bout;  and b) she skated through foot pain, and after the bout she discovered she had a fracture in her foot. (Servix is now in a walking cast and out for the remainder of the season.) CynTax skated in eight jams, putting 24 points on the board. Juicy K. Tore, who also skated with the Dot.Kamz, filled out the jammer rotation.

Top left: Belle Wringer clears the line for Zootown Throwdown (Photo credit: Nocklebeast); top right: Juicy K. Tore gives Postal Servix a helping hand (Boss Hogg). Bottom left: Retox Fox contains so CynTax clear the pack (Nocklebeast); Bottom right: Captain Aim De Kill whips Zoo to the front (Nocklebeast).

The indomitable Aim De Kill, Steffen Razor, and Double Knuckles DeVille managed the pack at pivot. Belle Wringer and Satan’s Kitten both made impressive outings in their second official bout for the Killas. Mauly Anna, Retox Fox, and Dirty Thirty also worked the pack. ChanaSaw Massacre returned to the rink with her signature snowplow after a long season of injury, including a broken hand and back issues. Sadie Mae Gutz  made the comeback of the season, playing in her first bout since giving birth to a baby girl (named, yes, Sadie) less than a month ago. Don’t tell me derby girls don’t LOVE LOVE LOVE this sport, folks: that is some serious commitment.

KillaByte Captain Aim De Kill announced her retirement.

And speaking of someone who has some serious LOVE LOVE LOVE for this sport, the KillaByte captain, Aim DeKill, announced her retirement  at the bout. Although she will not be skating next season, she will be taking an active role as a coach, helping our new class of bootcampers in the spring. All of the Silicon Valley Roller Girls want to thank Aim, our Mama Byte, for being such a remarkable and compassionate skater and friend. She truly embodies all that is the SVRG spirit.

Unfortunately, as is the way with derby, your reporter had to work during the Dot.Kamikazes bout, so my observations are here and there. Check out our announcer Killer Vee’s writeup here and her KillaBytes writeup here.

From what I could see, the Humboldt Redwood Rollers looked like a very coordinated and agile team. In the end, however, they were no match for the Dot.Kamikaze defense and power jamming. The stats show that, aside from Sissy Jr. scoring 13 points in the second jam, the Dot.Kamikaze pack prevented Humboldt’s jammers from ever making more than one scoring pass in a given jam. The Dot.Kam jammers frequently managed more than one scoring pass through the pack and often grand-slammed Humboldt. Pia Mess thrilled the crowd as she closed out the game with a 25 (arguably 30, as she was shooting through the pack as the whistle blew) point jam.

Here are some shots from the game:

Left: SKooter Ov'r eyes a Roller, while Lizapalooza takes out two blockers and the jammer singlehandedly, clearing the way for Dollface (Nocklebeast). Middle: MisTits makes a Roller a Flyer (Boss Hogg). Right: Donna Diggler and Lindsay Lohanded pick off a Humboldt jammer (Boss Hogg).

Left: SKooter Ov'r eyes a Roller, while Lizapalooza takes out two blockers and the jammer singlehandedly, clearing the way for Dollface (Nocklebeast). Middle: MisTits makes a Roller into a Flyer. Right: Donna Diggler and Lindsay Lohanded pick off the Humboldt jammer.

Left: Smash 'n' Burn deftly stays in bounds. Middle: Smack Dahlia provides her own D. Right: Death by Dollface gets a monster whip from Pia Mess. (All photos: Boss Hogg).

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Hall of Pain update: Double Knuckle$$’s arm hurts to look at

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In case you didn’t see the previous post, Double Knuckle$$ had the misfortune of sustaining multiple falls right on the exact same durned spot before, during, and after May Day Massacre. She provided us with this visual update of her arm…yee-owch! I think it looks like she was stranded out on the tundra for a week and incurred severe frostbite. Don’t worry, she assured us it’s not going to fall off. Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery!

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Welcome to the HALL OF PAIN

I’m sure other skaters have had the experience: you tell an acquaintance that you play roller derby, and the look in their eyes means you might as well have told them that you’re really into S & M, or that you worship the devil: it’s a blend of bewilderment, suspicion, curiosity, and a little bit of fear: who is this person? She seemed like such a nice, normal girl…Now they will think of you as the chick who gets off on repeatedly slamming her body into other girls with the goal of destruction.  On the plus side, they probably won’t take any more office supplies off your desk.

Some people still question the verity of roller derby. As a lifelong athlete I feel no need to make an argument that roller derby is a sport: if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here. I understand that back in the day roller derby was more of a spectacle in the vein of professional wrestling–but looking at WFTDA leagues and aspirers like us, you’ll see we’re playing a rough and tough but rule-bound sport. I like to tell people that roller derby is kind of like football, but with less padding and a concrete floor–that usually gets the message out that despite the fishnets and the lipstick, we ain’t messin’ around. The physical demands are as intense as any sport I’ve played, if not moreso. The variety of skills you must learn is as challenging as other of life’s pleasures, like statistics and laproscopic surgery. In derby, you must maximize your endurance, balance, strength, agility, durability, and resilience. Especially resilience: there is no doubt that at some point, you will get beat down, and you have got to get back on your skates as soon as humanly possible–whether that’s in 3 seconds or after surgery and six months of recovery. That’s the steel will of a derby girl.

And here, with the Hall of Pain, we will present you with an ongoing gallery of SVRG’s bruises and breaks, sprains and strains, separations and dislocations. We want you to know that our injuries are real, and that these the risks we undertake for the love of our sport.  Here are a couple of our recent spills and the aftermath. Enjoy!

Double Knuckle$$ shows off a week's worth of falls on her elbow.

Double Knuckle$$ shows off a week's worth of falls on her elbow.

Pia Mess shows off a palette of colors on her elbow earned during SVRG's victory over ShEvil Dead at the May Day Massacre.

Pia Mess shows off a palette of colors on her elbow earned during SVRG's victory over ShEvil Dead at the May Day Massacre.

Texas ChanaSaw Massacre broke her hand in her first encounter with a banked track...and can't wait to skate on it again!

Texas ChanaSaw Massacre broke her hand in her first encounter with a banked track...and can't wait to skate on it again!

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