Tag Archives: Lizapalooza

SVRG Helps Sacred Heart Pack-a-Back for Schoolkids

Over the past two Fridays, the Silicon Valley Roller Girls helped 1,600 needy children get backpacks full of school supplies for the coming school year. MaulyAnna, Frida Khill*ya, Smack Dahlia, Avida Sane, Sasha Degrader, Donna Diggler, Zootown Throwdown, Lizapalooza, and Raci Nikkers spent time packing the backpacks full of paper, notebooks, markers, calculators, USB drives, and other grade-appropriate supplies. Belle Wringer, Retox Fox, and Latin Crippler helped direct traffic and assist children in choosing their backpacks. We were happy to see so many children get the supplies they need to start another year of learning!

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SVRG KillaBytes topple Lake Tahoe Derby Dames, 123-48

The KillaBytes warm up under the redwoods at the Lake Tahoe Derby Dames' dreamy venue. Photo: Amy Anderson.

The KillaBytes had already taken some hits to the roster from Satan’s Kitten’s separated shoulder, Absolutely Scabulous’s recent concussion, and a last-minute work obligation from Catherine Beata Bones, so they were down to 13 for this bout. Spirits were high, though, because the Killas were happy to welcome back former co-captain Steffin’ Razor, whose return from knee surgery had been delayed due to a subsequent concussion. The Killas were also excited to debut a new member, Tennessee Smitan, who graduated from bootcamp this spring and made her first roster.

In true form, SVRG made it rain—literally. A couple of hours before the bout, the skies became overcast, thunder rolled in the distance, and the drizzle began. Normally, this isn’t much an issue for roller derby bouts, but the Tahoe venue was an outdoor rink, placidly set beneath the towering redwoods at a nearby park. The rain tapered off shortly before the doors were set to open, and thanks to the hard work of the refs, NSOs, and volunteers from Tahoe and SVRG, the track was squeegeed and blow-dried enough for the bout to go on with only a slight delay. Both teams were aware that the rain had made for a confounding factor, however—despite the cleanup, the floor was still super slippery. Turns were hard to hold, speed was difficult to pick up and maintain due to the lack of traction, and juking and other agile footwork was extremely difficult.

Unfortunately, pileups were all too common on the slick surface. Here, Zootown Throwdown and a Lake Tahoe skater are entangled.

Within the first few jams, the Killas worked to adjust to the track conditions. The pack was sluggish and the jammers struggled to determine optimal speeds to make it through quickly without wiping out. The Lake Tahoe Derby Dames were particularly adept at using their momentum to deliver powerful hits to the outside, and the KillaBytes were happy to engage their strong defense with their own killa hits. Due to the track, however, almost any forceful hit ended  up with at least one skater on the ground, if not both, resulting in some inadvertent low blocking and pileups.

Bozo Disposo on the line of the fateful jam.

In the fourth jam, Bozo Disposo was jamming for the first time and trying to adjust to the surface. After securing lead jammer, she saw a hit coming from the inside and decided to absorb it. Due to the track’s slickness, her skates moved in an unexpected manner and she fell in an awkward way, taking too much force on her wrist. Being the trooper that she is, Bozo immediately sat up and called off the jam, but as she skated off the track it was evident (and a hospital trip later confirmed) that her wrist was broken and needed to be reset.

Left: Postal Servix skips by on a no pack; right: Zoo deftly evades a hard hit and breaks the pack.

Greatly saddened by yet another injury (having lost Beth Sentence to a broken ankle in the Denver bout in June and Satan’s Kitten to the aforementioned shoulder injury in the ACDG bout in July), the Killas were now down to 12 on the bench and missing a key part of their jammer rotation, which was now on the shoulders of CynTax, Zootown Throwdown, and Postal Servix, who was also doing double duty as a blocker. Coaches Aim De Kill and Kosmo Trouble helped the team refocus, and a slow-and-steady approach began to reap some benefits, allowing the Killas to creep ahead 57-25 by half-time.

Top left: Steffin' Razor and BootyVicious pinch jammer Fiona Fearless and blocker Mad Maggie. Top right: Postal Servix's booty was rockin' everywhere. Bottom left: Lizapalooza whips Zoo past LTDD's last line of defense. Bottom right: Retox Fox and BootyVicious help clear the path for CynTax.

After the half, the Killas leapt onto the track with new energy. Knowing the track was making the jammers’ lives miserable (not to mention those wicked hits from Tahoe’s power blocking, including Jinn Beam, Fiona Fearless, and Mad Maggie), the Killas dedicated more resources to their offense. Steffin’ Razor, clearly happy to be back on the track, strategically redirected the pack as needed. Lizapalooza and BootyVicious vocally and bodily controlled the pack, doling out solid hits with Postal Servix and Mauly Anna. Bitch Puddin’ and Tennessee Smitan worked the front and middle, using both hits and positional blocking to keep blockers at bay. Skooter Ov’r, Retox Fox, and Knuckles DeVille focused on the back of the pack, keeping jammers and pesky blockers on the ground to maximize their jammers’ scoring potential (see some of Knuckles’s work below).

Jammer Tennessee Smitan cleverly sneaks by on the outside as Knuckles Deville offers protection (and the Lake Tahoe jammer leaps over Knuckles's wreckage).

Fearless rookie Tennessee Smitan also stepped in to handle a couple of jams. In the second half, the Killas jammers, working their way more cautiously through the pack, began to rack up more points per jam, including a 20-point power jam by Zootown Throwdown as Tahoe’s jammer sat in the box. Meanwhile, the Killa defense held Tahoe to only 23 points in the second half despite Tahoe having a couple of power jam opportunities, leading to a final score of 123-48.

You can see pictures from the bout on the Lake Tahoe Derby Dames Facebook page (no membership required) courtesy of Photography Hoodoo.

The KillaBytes would like to thank their amazing coaches, Pandamonium, LTO, Aim De Kill, and Pia Mess for prepping them for this bout. Extra special thanks goes to Awesome Amazing Aim De Kill, who head coached our bout and did a rad job while facing adverse conditions, and Kosmo Trouble, who stepped up to help us out. We would like to thank the ref, NSO, and volunteer crew from Tahoe and SVRG who made this bout possible in the first place by getting the track in workable condition, and thanks to our refs who traveled to Tahoe to skate with us (Jonny Demonic, Jacques Strappe, Peter Fondle, and Teapotahedron). Thanks too to all of our fellow skaters and fans who made the trip up to Tahoe to cheer us on. And big, big thanks to the Lake Tahoe girls for hosting us, giving us a tough game (and the bruises to show for it), and throwing a great afterparty!

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SVRG is a win-win; Killas take down ACDG Rocket Queens 118-72 and Dots pummel Treasure Valley 208-68

The Dot.Kamikazes and Coach Panda line up with guest of honor Jerry Seltzer, major sports fan and son of Leo Seltzer, the founder of roller derby. All photos courtesy of Jim Cottingham.

The luau-themed Freaky Tiki Throwdown was a fun-filled evening for fans and skaters alike. Victory was in the air at San Jose Skate on Saturday night as both Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ teams, the KillaBytes and the Dot.Kamikazes, racked up solid wins.

The KillaBytes were coming off an amazing performance (albeit, a loss) against the Denver Roller Dolls’ Bruising Altitude on June 12. They were curious as to what the Angel City Derby Girls’ Rocket Queens would be bringing, since the team has undergone a reboot (several retirements and lots of new blood) since they faced the Dot.Kamikazes last season. Given their younger roster, the team was matched against the KillaBytes this season instead. The KillaBytes were also excited to face the Rocket Queens since a former SVRG bootcamper, Blow Hole, had moved to southern California and was on the ACDG roster.

Left: Belle Wringer and Skooter Ov'r squish the pack. Right: Lizapalooza, Fox, and Knuckles set the pace.

The KillaBytes earned their name from the first whistle with some killer defense. Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and BootyVicious brought it in the pack and as aggressive jammers. Captain Knuckles DeVille, Lizapalooza, and Bitch Puddin’ took turns positionally blocking or taking out jammers at the front of the pack while Belle Wringer and Skooter Ov’r steered ‘em and cleared ‘em in the back.

Left: Bones & her booty sneak attack; Middle & right: Servix doles out some two piece meal.

Postal Servix and Catherine Beata Bones brought some serious booty into the mix, clearing a path with their ferocious swipes (just check out the pics). Retox Fox doled out persistent beatings on jammers and blockers alike, often sharing some special one-on-one moments with an opponent at the back of the pack. Satan’s Kitten threw blocks so vicious that she found out after the game that she had separated her shoulder (meeowch!)

L: CynTax brushes off a hit; M: Bozo Disposo has picked up jamming duties like a natural; L: Skooter Ov'r whips AbScab while keeping an eye on her pack.

Between the Killas’ stellar defense and the jammers’ indefatigable endurance, the Killas had a productive evening on the line. Jamming duties were handled by Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown, CynTax, Catherine Beata Bones, Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and BootyVicious. The Killas succeeded in dethroning the Rocket Queens, 118-72.

One of the thrills of playing new teams from faraway lands is that you’re not quite sure what to expect. The Treasure Valley Rollergirls from Boise, Idaho, made their first visit to the Bay Area, and the murmurs started as the team started their warm up. “Wow, they really look like they know what they’re doing,” one SVRG skater said. Indeed, Treasure Valley would demonstrate their agility throughout the evening against the Dot.Kamikazes.

L: Lindsay Lohanded steers; M: Lizapalooza has a lock on the jammer; R: Pia Mess deftly disposes of the TV jammer.

The Dot.Kamikazes kicked off the jams with a stellar first jam. Pia Mess and Death by Dollface contained TV’s Jilldozer as SVRG’s Smack Dahlia grand-slammed her way to a 13-point jam to TV’s 5. TV bounced right back in the second jam, as both Pia and jammer Smash ‘n’ Burn were sent to the box. TV’s Ana Rampage secured a 14-point power jam, helping TV take a 19-13 lead. In the fourth jam, new SVRG skater Mongoose, a transfer from Florida, made her debut and racked up 9 points in her first jam despite a pack deficit. Although Feisty Irish was in the box serving time, Scait Riot filled in the gap by working as a one-woman wall against TV’s jammer.

L: Mongoose's debut was marked by several high-scoring jams; here she gets a hand from Servix. R: Smack Dahlia believes she can fly...which she did, through double-digit jams.

SVRG continued to have penalty trouble throughout the first 20 minutes of the first half, rarely fielding a full pack. Every time they succeeded in pulling ahead a few points, TV was quick to respond and narrow the point margin. In Jam 12, Dollface, Kimfectious, and jammer Smash ‘n’ Burn crowded the penalty box, but things turned around for SVRG in Jam 13 as Smack Dahlia took advantage of some killer Pia Mess defense and sped to a 14-0 jam. SVRG’s defense—including some excellent teamwork by Scait Riot, Kosmo Trouble, Lizapalooza, and Donna Diggler, and the requisite knockout hits by Pia, Dollface, and Lindsay Lohanded—held TV scoreless for the last six jams of the half, which Mongoose closed with a 10-point power jam for SVRG, giving them a 85-35 lead.

Patty cake? Dance move? Paper, rock, scissors on who gives the whip? Kosmo Trouble and Death by Dollface prepare for an oncoming Smack Dahlia.

SVRG’s defense continued to freeze out TV in the second half; by Jam 9 TV had only put up 2 more points. In the meantime, SVRG made slow but steady forward progress with the exception of Jam 4, when Pia Mess donned the jammer cap and strode to a 30-point power jam with the help of Scait Riot, Dollface, Kimfectious, and Feisty Irish. Smack Dahlia racked up 10 points in Jam 9 before being sent to the box, but nimble blocking by Lindsay Lohanded held the TV jammer to only 4 points in the power jam. Postal Servix (who along with Lizapalooza and Catherine Beata Bones served double duty on the Killas and Dots tonight) took the line in Jam 11 and scored a 15-point jam while Feisty Irish was on fire with her blocking. In the last jams, Kosmo Trouble, Donna Diggler, Feisty Irish, and Catherine Beata Bones all took a turn on the jammer line. Pia Mess also returned and completed a star pass to Smash ‘n’ Burn, the duo earning a collective 18-points in a power jam. In the end, SVRG triumphed over Treasure Valley, 208-68.



If you just can't get enough Teddy Wreckspin, you'll have to come check out men's roller derby on July 18, 3 pm at Roosevelt Park!

As always, thanks to our awesome coaches, Pandamonium, LTO, Aim De Kill, and Pia Mess; our amazing ref and NSO staff; our visiting opponents, the Angel City Rocket Queens and Treasure Valley Rollergirls; and our families, friends, and fans for supporting us!

Thanks to Jim Cottingham for his photos of the KillaBytes and Dot.Kamikazes!

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SVRG builds with Habitat for Humanity

SVRG on site at the Habitat build.

by Satan’s Kitten, Community Service Head

On May 8, members of the Silicon Valley Roller Girls worked alongside the families receiving the six homes on this lot in Morgan Hill for their ‘Women’s Build.” Lizapalooza, Peter Fondle, CynTax, Mauly Anna, Brigid Fitch, Zen, Tennessee Smitan, Blanca Basura Barbie, Jema, and Satan’s Kitten represented SVRG at the work site. We dug ditches for foundations, hammered in rebar and built guides for the foundation to be poured, raised walls, and other labor-intensive work.

Mauly Anna and Kitten dig it.

The proceeds from our July 10th bout will be going towards this build and we’re hoping to volunteer again with them before the year is out. Anyone interested in getting involved with Habitat for Humanity should check out:
www.habitatsiliconvalley.org .

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SVRG rollin’ around the South Bay

Steffin' Razor, Absolutely Scabulous, Smack Dahlia, Vegas Vixen, Saucy Monstrosity, Belle Wringer, and Lizapalooza with their pets.

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls were out and about this weekend. On Saturday morning, several skaters and their assortment of dogs made an appearance in the Los Altos Pet Parade. Lizapalooza and Absolutely Scabulous brought their respective Chloes; Steffin’ Razor, Vegas Vixen, and Smack Dahlia had their bulldogs (Betty, Miller, and Knuckles, respectively); Belle brought beautiful white wolflike Gir; Saucy Monstrosity brought her pint-sized chihuahua, Mugsy; and Retox Fox, being petless among the bunch, toted the banner. Thanks to the Los Altos Town Crier for mentioning us in their writeup.

Left: waiting for the band to strike up again; left, Knuckles and Betty flaunt their preciousness.

Zoo, Fox, Puddin', AbScab, and Cosmo at Via Velo. Not pictured: Bozo Disposo.

Later on in the day, Ab Scab and Fox joined up with Bitch Puddin’, Zootown Throwdown, Bozo Disposo, and Cosmo Trouble (the former MisTits) to perform some demos and chat with the crowd at Via Velo, a festival in downtown San Jose celebrating biking and alternative forms of transportation. It’s always great to meet new people and spread the derby love. We were particularly excited to start promoting our junior derby camp this summer. Thanks to all the great people we talked to, and a special thanks to Tricia for the opportunity to talk some derby from the stages.

Dude, it's a firetruck...THAT'S A SHARK!

We’re looking forward to another busy week. We will be helping out at the Sakomoto Elementary open house, then skating at their fundraiser on Wednesday, and then we will be in attendance at the San Jose Wolves arena football game on Saturday.

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Dot.Kamikazes Edged Out by Arizona, Defeated by Duke, but Topple Tucson at Dust Devil

SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes traveled to Tucson for the Dust Devil tournament this past weekend. The week leading up to the tournament had not been kind to the Dots, with jammer Betta Watchit downed with an ankle injury on Sunday and blocker and defensive lynchpin Rot Wheels breaking her leg in practice on Monday. Injuries continued to haunt the team during the tournament.

The Dot.Kamikazes faced Arizona Roller Derby’s Tent City Terrors, whom they had defeated at the Bakersfield Dust Bowl tournament. Although the Dots were ahead by 50 points, Arizona made a great comeback and won, 137-133. During the game both Pia Mess and Lindsay Lohanded sustained injuries; Lohanded was forced to sit out the first bout against Duke on Sunday.

On Sunday, the Dots skated against their first nationally ranked team, #21 Duke City (from Albuquerque, NM). Although the Dots made a strong start, Duke capitalized on penalty situations moreso than SVRG and had pulled ahead 89-39 by halftime. In the first jam of the second half, SVRG jammer (and Bakersfield Dust Bowl’ tourney’s MVP) Smash ‘n’ Burn went down with a back injury and was taken off the rink on a stretcher. As she made her way to the hospital, SVRG continued to fight against Duke, but they fell 172-78.

For the final game, SVRG faced Tucson’s Furious Truckstop Waitresses. SVRG secured the lead early on with the help of a 25-point jam by Zootown Throwdown and ended the first half ahead 123-33. SVRG continued to pile up points through several power jams, winning 212-71. You can see pictures of this bout here. Thankfully, we also received the news that Smash’s x-rays had also come back okay, so Sunday ended on a high note.

Captain Smack Dahlia was awarded SVRG’s MVP for the tournament. Congratulations!

You can see more thorough coverage than my third person hearsay at Derby News Network.

Roster:

Smack Dahlia/ Pia Mess/ Death by Dollface/ MisTits/ Smash ‘n’ Burn/ Scait Riot/ Lindsay Lohanded/ Donna Diggler/ Kimfectious/  Lizapalooza/ BootyVicious/ Knuckles DeVille/ Postal Servix/ Zootown Throwdown

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SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes win the Dustbowl Invitational!!

Silicon Valley represents! Photo: Jim Cottingham

That’s right, SVRG skated in their first tournament ever this weekend, and they dominated!

On Saturday, they played four 20-minute games in their pool, securing four wins. First, the Dot.Kamikazes defeated hosts Derby Revolution of Bakersfield 42-14. Next, they blew out Central California Area Derby 88-9. Then, they faced their BFFs from over the hill, the Santa Cruz Derby Girls, and triumphed 68-12. In their last pool play game, they faced tough competition from Arizona Roller Derby, but SVRG came away victorious, 45-31.

Left: MisTits and Rot Wheels render a Sac jammer hapless. Right: Pia Mess lives up to the offer stated on her booty shorts and gives the jammer a free ride. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Sunday, SVRG entered competition as the top seed. Sunday’s play featured 30-minute games. They faced Santa Cruz again, whom they beat 80-22. In the final round, they were set to play the Sac City Rollers, who had defeated Tucson. The Dots dominated Sac City, 170-100, to win their first ever tournament!

Left: Scait Riot lays into a Sac jammer; Right: Kimfectious hits so hard you can't see straight. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Special congratulations to MisTits, who was named Best Blocker, and Smash ‘n’ Burn, who earned MVP. Way to rock it, ladies!

Left: MisTits accepts her Best Blocker award, presented by Timothy Jordan, announcer extraordinnaire. Left: Smash 'n' Burn is delighted to win MVP of the tourney. Photos: Jim Cottingham

We would like to thank our **amazing** coaches, Panda, LTO, and Pia Mess, for whipping SVRG into tourney shape. Thanks to the refs and NSOs for their hard work. Thanks to all of the SVRG fans who traveled to Bako to show their support. Thank you to the ladies of Bakersfield for hosting an amazing tournament!

Thanks to Jim Cottingham for capturing all the glory! You can see his pics from the tournament here.

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