Tag Archives: MisTits

Dot.Kamikazes Take Third in the Big One

After a 259-40 loss to the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls this morning, the Dot.Kamikazes rallied in the losers’ bracket to take third place in the Big One from the Humboldt Redwood Rollers.

SVRG went into the game missing a player, Pia Mess, whose ejection in the bout against the B.A.D. Girls carried over to the bout  against Humboldt. Humboldt jumped to a quick lead in the first few jams, but SVRG summoned their amazing endurance and started to lay down the points. SVRG secured the lead and ended the first half ahead, 69-44.

In the second half, Humboldt came back strong, and the teams traded off the lead several times. A rally in the last few minutes buoyed by strong jamming by Smack Dahlia and Death by Dollface and power blocking by MisTits (aka Cosmo Trouble) launched SVRG ahead of Redwood, ending in a 134-105 win.

You can see Jim Cottingham‘s pictures of the final four games here. LeVar Hurtin’s pics of the tourney can be seen here.

Congratulations to the Dot.Kamikazes for a strong performance throughout the tourney, and thanks to the ladies of CCRD for hosting us at this amazing tournament! Special thanks to Derby News Network for helping the viewers at home keep up with the action!

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SVRG rollin’ around the South Bay

Steffin' Razor, Absolutely Scabulous, Smack Dahlia, Vegas Vixen, Saucy Monstrosity, Belle Wringer, and Lizapalooza with their pets.

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls were out and about this weekend. On Saturday morning, several skaters and their assortment of dogs made an appearance in the Los Altos Pet Parade. Lizapalooza and Absolutely Scabulous brought their respective Chloes; Steffin’ Razor, Vegas Vixen, and Smack Dahlia had their bulldogs (Betty, Miller, and Knuckles, respectively); Belle brought beautiful white wolflike Gir; Saucy Monstrosity brought her pint-sized chihuahua, Mugsy; and Retox Fox, being petless among the bunch, toted the banner. Thanks to the Los Altos Town Crier for mentioning us in their writeup.

Left: waiting for the band to strike up again; left, Knuckles and Betty flaunt their preciousness.

Zoo, Fox, Puddin', AbScab, and Cosmo at Via Velo. Not pictured: Bozo Disposo.

Later on in the day, Ab Scab and Fox joined up with Bitch Puddin’, Zootown Throwdown, Bozo Disposo, and Cosmo Trouble (the former MisTits) to perform some demos and chat with the crowd at Via Velo, a festival in downtown San Jose celebrating biking and alternative forms of transportation. It’s always great to meet new people and spread the derby love. We were particularly excited to start promoting our junior derby camp this summer. Thanks to all the great people we talked to, and a special thanks to Tricia for the opportunity to talk some derby from the stages.

Dude, it's a firetruck...THAT'S A SHARK!

We’re looking forward to another busy week. We will be helping out at the Sakomoto Elementary open house, then skating at their fundraiser on Wednesday, and then we will be in attendance at the San Jose Wolves arena football game on Saturday.

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Dot.Kamikazes Edged Out by Arizona, Defeated by Duke, but Topple Tucson at Dust Devil

SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes traveled to Tucson for the Dust Devil tournament this past weekend. The week leading up to the tournament had not been kind to the Dots, with jammer Betta Watchit downed with an ankle injury on Sunday and blocker and defensive lynchpin Rot Wheels breaking her leg in practice on Monday. Injuries continued to haunt the team during the tournament.

The Dot.Kamikazes faced Arizona Roller Derby’s Tent City Terrors, whom they had defeated at the Bakersfield Dust Bowl tournament. Although the Dots were ahead by 50 points, Arizona made a great comeback and won, 137-133. During the game both Pia Mess and Lindsay Lohanded sustained injuries; Lohanded was forced to sit out the first bout against Duke on Sunday.

On Sunday, the Dots skated against their first nationally ranked team, #21 Duke City (from Albuquerque, NM). Although the Dots made a strong start, Duke capitalized on penalty situations moreso than SVRG and had pulled ahead 89-39 by halftime. In the first jam of the second half, SVRG jammer (and Bakersfield Dust Bowl’ tourney’s MVP) Smash ‘n’ Burn went down with a back injury and was taken off the rink on a stretcher. As she made her way to the hospital, SVRG continued to fight against Duke, but they fell 172-78.

For the final game, SVRG faced Tucson’s Furious Truckstop Waitresses. SVRG secured the lead early on with the help of a 25-point jam by Zootown Throwdown and ended the first half ahead 123-33. SVRG continued to pile up points through several power jams, winning 212-71. You can see pictures of this bout here. Thankfully, we also received the news that Smash’s x-rays had also come back okay, so Sunday ended on a high note.

Captain Smack Dahlia was awarded SVRG’s MVP for the tournament. Congratulations!

You can see more thorough coverage than my third person hearsay at Derby News Network.

Roster:

Smack Dahlia/ Pia Mess/ Death by Dollface/ MisTits/ Smash ‘n’ Burn/ Scait Riot/ Lindsay Lohanded/ Donna Diggler/ Kimfectious/  Lizapalooza/ BootyVicious/ Knuckles DeVille/ Postal Servix/ Zootown Throwdown

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SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes win the Dustbowl Invitational!!

Silicon Valley represents! Photo: Jim Cottingham

That’s right, SVRG skated in their first tournament ever this weekend, and they dominated!

On Saturday, they played four 20-minute games in their pool, securing four wins. First, the Dot.Kamikazes defeated hosts Derby Revolution of Bakersfield 42-14. Next, they blew out Central California Area Derby 88-9. Then, they faced their BFFs from over the hill, the Santa Cruz Derby Girls, and triumphed 68-12. In their last pool play game, they faced tough competition from Arizona Roller Derby, but SVRG came away victorious, 45-31.

Left: MisTits and Rot Wheels render a Sac jammer hapless. Right: Pia Mess lives up to the offer stated on her booty shorts and gives the jammer a free ride. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Sunday, SVRG entered competition as the top seed. Sunday’s play featured 30-minute games. They faced Santa Cruz again, whom they beat 80-22. In the final round, they were set to play the Sac City Rollers, who had defeated Tucson. The Dots dominated Sac City, 170-100, to win their first ever tournament!

Left: Scait Riot lays into a Sac jammer; Right: Kimfectious hits so hard you can't see straight. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Special congratulations to MisTits, who was named Best Blocker, and Smash ‘n’ Burn, who earned MVP. Way to rock it, ladies!

Left: MisTits accepts her Best Blocker award, presented by Timothy Jordan, announcer extraordinnaire. Left: Smash 'n' Burn is delighted to win MVP of the tourney. Photos: Jim Cottingham

We would like to thank our **amazing** coaches, Panda, LTO, and Pia Mess, for whipping SVRG into tourney shape. Thanks to the refs and NSOs for their hard work. Thanks to all of the SVRG fans who traveled to Bako to show their support. Thank you to the ladies of Bakersfield for hosting an amazing tournament!

Thanks to Jim Cottingham for capturing all the glory! You can see his pics from the tournament here.

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San Diego Hard Corps inch past KillaBytes, 108-105; Dot.Kamikazes quell the Dockyard Derby Dames, 158-88

Bitch Puddin' (right back) gives Mauly Anna (right front) some extra momentum as she goes in for the hit on San Diego jammer Blur D'Lee. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela

Wow, for those of you who couldn’t make our doubleheader on Saturday, you missed an amazing night of roller derby!

First up, the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ KillaBytes faced off against San Diego’s Hard Corps. In December, members of SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes and KillaBytes had traveled to San Diego to play a scrap bout (i.e., an unofficial bout where whomever can go and play does) with a hybrid of their A and B teams and ended up losing in the last moments of the bout. Given San Diego’s stellar level of play, the Killas were looking forward to hosting them on SVRG’s home turf. The KillaBytes were also very excited to debut three new skaters who graduated from bootcamp at the end of last season and were skating in their very first bout: Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and Catherine Beata Bones.

Top image: Bozo Disposo, Sadie Mae Gutz, Absolutely Scabulous, and pivot BootyVicious wall up. Bottom: Why, they look so sweet on the line! Belle Ringer, Sadie, Mauly Anna, and Double Knuckles pose for a family portrait. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham

San Diego started strong, setting the tone for the first half. They repeatedly contained the Killa blockers as their jammers raced through the pack. In the first half, San Diego jammers dominated the Killa jammers, securing lead 11 of 19 jams and taking control of the point spread. The Killa jammers, whose collective endurance lends itself to serious pack-lapping at times, never managed to get into the double digits in a single jam in the first half, although CynTax deftly maneuvered through a 9-point jam. In contrast, San Diego jammers Blur D’Lee (2 10-point jams) and Heidi Evidence (13-pt and 9-pt jams) racked up serious points, giving the Hard Corps a 62-38 lead by the end of the first half.

Left: Retox Fox and Catherine Beta Bones tag team the San Diego jammer; Right: Beth Sentence puts some booty into it to control the jammer.

The Killas reconfigured at halftime, but were still struggling into the fifth jam, when Blur D’Lee racked up a 20-point jam and the San Diego bench went wild at their 40 point lead, 91-51. The cheering made its way to the KillaBytes, and somewhere in that moment the tide turned. The Killas managed to turn up their offense and their defense simultaneously. Sadie Mae Gutz, Belle Wringer, and Retox Fox doled out big hits at the back of the pack and kept the Hard Corps jammers contained or on the floor. Captain Knuckles DeVille, BootyVicious, and Beth Sentence smartly controlled the front of the pack, teaming up with Mauly Anna, Bitch Puddin’, Spankin’ Firecracker, Absolutely Scabulous, Bones, and Bozo Disposo to optimize the Killa jammers’ scoring via offensive blocking and a few power whips.

The rookies rocked it last night! Absolutely Scabulous assists Catherine Beta Bones, who had the KillaBytes' highest scoring jam at 17 points.

The Killas kept the Hard Corps scoreless for six consecutive jams, recovering those 40 points and then some to pull ahead 96-91. Catherine Beata Bones shined in her debut bout, racking up the Killas’ highest scoring jam of the night at 17 points. Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown laid down a 10-point jam, and Beth Sentence, making her debut as a jammer, secured an 11-point jam. Double threat BootyVicious and CynTax rounded out the jamming rotation.

Left: Killas Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown sneaks past PT Bruiser. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham. Right: Captain Knuckles DeVille crushes Summer Crush. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela.

With 1:37 left on the clock, the game was tied 99-99. The coaches sent out their strongest packs for what appeared to be the final showdown, and Zootown Throwdown took the line against Blur D’Lee—a faceoff of the two skaters who would eventually be named their respective team’s MVPs. Killas Knuckles, Sadie, Belle, and Fox contained the nimble Blur as Zoo zipped through the pack and secured lead jammer. The Killa jammer made a full scoring pass and started on another before calling off the jam with 37 seconds left on the clock. Zoo pulled six points as the Killa pack held Blur scoreless, pushing the Killas into the lead, 105-99. The home crowd screamed as the points appeared on the scoreboard, but the Killas would have to hold down the fort for one more jam. Right off the line, the Hard Corps mapped a perfect strategy and were able to get Heidi Evidence lead jammer status. Knowing she had two minutes to work with, she raced through the pack twice and called off the jam after she hit the floor at the front of the pack. There were tense moments as the referees conferred and the scoreboard remained unchanged, but then the final score was announced. Heidi Evidence scored 9 points in the final jam, securing the win for San Diego. Although the Silicon Valley fans were disappointed at the loss, the thrill of the battle still had its rewards, and the Killas were congratulated for their amazing second half comeback. ‘Til we meet again, San Diego…

MisTits, walling up front with Postal Servix, helps Smash 'n' Burn clear the pack. Photo credit: Adrian Valenzuela

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating the faceoff against the Dockyard Derby Dames because one of their coaches, the infamous Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

Pia Mess multitasks, picking jammer T'erin Traxx off the line and clearing the path for Smack Dahlia. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

The Dot.Kamikazes started strong and never let up. Smack Dahlia laid down a 9-point jam to kick off the game while the Dots’ pack never released Dakota D. Stroya to score. Although the Dames kept the margin close for much of the first half, the Dots never surrendered the lead, pulling ahead to 75-56 by halftime buoyed by two 9-point jams and a half-ending 13-point jam by Pia Mess.

Left: Rot Wheels helps clear the way for Smash 'n' Burn while Pia Mess eyes the Dockyard jammer. Credit: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Donna Diggler contains a Dame. Credit: Jim Cottingham.

Although the Dames’ T’erin Traxx and Rocky Hardplace made the pack significantly less jammer-friendly, the Dots’ offensive blocking cleared timely paths for their jammers while Rot Wheels, Death by Dollface, Pia Mess, and Lizapalooza (also a regular whip machine), kept a powerhouse defense at the back of the pack.

Left: Feisty Irish goes after a Dockyard jammer. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Postal Servix and Kimfectious maintain a hard wall in front of the Dockyard jammer as Smack Dahlia sneaks up on the pack. Photo: Jim Cottingham.

Kimfectious, Feisty Irish, and Postal Servix, who all donned the pivot cap during the bout, Skooter Ov’r, and BootyVicious, fresh from the Killas game, filled out the pack. Donna Diggler connected on some vicious and crowd-pleasing hits. MisTits showed the crowd why her teammates recently crowned her Skater of the Month. As pivot, she nimbly switched from defense to offense, whipping her jammers out of the pack. After repeatedly flooring the Dames’ jammers, she directed them to what very may well be the least desired position on the track: having to re-enter the track, sans momentum, right behind Tits.

Smack Dahlia (58 pts.), Smash ‘n’ Burn (32 pts.), Pia Mess (43 pts.), Death by Dollface (5 pts.), and rookie Betta Watchit (20 pts.) filled out the jammer rotation. Pia Mess (7.17 points per jam) and Smack Dahlia (5.27 points per jam) impressively averaged over one scoring pass each jam. Smack proved to be the grand slam champ in the second half, earning lead jammer in every appearance and racking up a 13-pt., 2 10-pt, and an 8-pt jam. Donna Diggler and Kimfectious nobly stepped to the line for the final two jams, although both were held scoreless by a hard-hitting Dames’ pack. In the end, the Dots triumphed, 158-88.

Lizapalooza (off camera, to right) lends a helping hand to rookie Betta Watchit. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela

We would like to thank both of our opponent teams for traveling in from San Diego and Tacoma to come play us. Thank you to our amazing SVRG coaches: Pandamonium, who spends so much time off the track getting us in shape strategically; LTO, whose passion for coaching is communicated in every hand signal; Pia Mess, who whips us into such great derby shape; and Aim De Kill, who is cultivating the derby girls of tomorrow. We would like to thank our hardworking ref and NSO staff for keeping us all in line.

Special thanks to Jim Cottingham and Adrian Valenzuela for their photography and helping us share the glory with those of you who missed the bout. You can see Jim’s Killas photos here and Dots photos here; also check out his main page here, which includes some sweet galleries from Mavericks, aviation pics, and more. Adrian has Killas pics here and Dots pics here; you can also order prints from his website. (Hint: derby girls love them!)

And, as always, thanks to our friends, families, fans, sponsors, and other supporters for making this all possible!

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating this faceoff because the Dockyard Derby Dames’ coach, Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

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Skater of the Month: MisTits

MisTits and Juicy K. Tore prepare to rock

I confess that I have probably voted for MisTits as SOTM more than any other skater on SVRG. All it takes is going up against her one-on-one in any blocking situation to know how fearsome she is. After every bout I am reminded of the grace and fortitude of her execution as she darts around the track, laying out opponents right and left with the efficiency of a professional assassin. I’ve seen jammers catch more air than Michael Jordan after Tits has picked one off with a killer hit. The reason why Tits is such an amazing blocker, though, is that in addition to all that raw power, she is incredibly agile on her skates. That combination should give any opponent a sinking feeling when they see her lining up.


How did you find out about roller derby?
I was looking up fight moves to use in my next fight. I came across a video of two girls skating as fast as they can. One girl suddenly turns and knocks the other girl off her feet and into the air. The crowd went crazy. I had found my next fight move…and it was legal!

 

What kind of skating skills or athletic abilities did you have before starting derby?
The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club.

 

How did you derive your derby name?
I’m a big Misfits fan…and I love my chesticles!

 

What is your signature move?
Knocking down yo’ jammer.

 

What is your greatest strength as a skater?
I am always pushing myself and encouraging others to improve.

 

What has been your greatest experience on the rink?
Learning how to skate. When I started I didn’t even know how to skate. I was using my little sister’s skates that our mom bought for a dollar at a yard sale!

 

I hear your little sister is a derby girl in the making.
Everybody better watch out when she hits the track–I’ve been teaching her how to block and skate fast. She’s training to be SVRG’s MVP in 2015.

 

What is your worst injury, and how did you earn it?
I don’t get bruises, I give them!

 

Which teammates do you work well with?
The skate wheels:  Juicy, Feisty, Skooter, and me. Four wheels make a skate!

 

What are you looking forward to the most this season?
Getting first place at the jello wrestling match…again!

 

What do you contribute to SVRG *off* the track?
During SVRG’s early years I made many flyers and graphics.

 

If you’re not on the rink, where would we find you?
You can find me at a skate park. Roosevelt, Cunningham, or Cabrio, but my home away from home is Sunnyvale Skate Park.

 

What’s the one piece of advice you would give women interested in playing roller derby?
Push yourself till you think you can’t go on, and then push yourself a little more.

 

Yes, jammers, you should be plenty afraid. Photo credit: Boss Hogg

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SVRG has a fun and derbyful weekend

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ season officially ended at the November bout, but we’ve still been workin’ it out and taking any derby opportunity that rolls our way. This weekend SVRG members made appearances at Red Red Holiday, a mixed scrimmage hosted by Sac City, and a scrap team (translation: anyone who had the time & money to travel) meandered down to face some of the San Diego Derby Dolls.

Red Red was particularly exciting this year because we got to send a lot of our new blood for some scrimmage experience. In addition to SVRG vets Steffen Razor (Team Orange) and MisTits (Dark Green), five of our interns got their first taste of bouting: Bozo Disposo (Dark Blue), Cannonball Iztik (Black), Absolutely Scabulous (Red), Blanca Basura Barbie (Pink) and Catherine Beata Bones (Light Green). The ladies had a wonderful time, and three were on the top teams. Barbie’s team, Pink (too appropriate!), took first place, MisTits’s Dark Green took second, and Steffen’s Orange took third. Congratulations!

In the meantime, a bunch of scrappers were bouting in San Diego. There was a question of whether the bout would even take place, because the roof at the Del Mar Fairgrounds was leaking in several places above the concrete track. Thing is, you can’t just tell derby girls there’s no derby. After consulting both teams, SDDD’s Bonnie D. Stroir declared that the game would go on, with some brave volunteers actively toweling the wet spots on the floor.

Because SVRG couldn’t field a whole team, we were grateful for the assistance of a couple of Central Coast Roller Derby ladies, Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware, to help fill our roster. Ivana joined Pia Mess, Death by Dollface, CynTax, and Betta Watchit (in her bout debut)  in the jamming rotation, while Rot Wheels, Kimfectious, Lizapalooza, Belle Wringer, Satan’s Kitten, Bitch Puddin’, Retox Fox, and BootyVicious performed blocker duties. Refs Texas Tea Bag and All Nate Long made the trip with the team, and the most honorable Aim De Kill tackled lineups for the group since her knee injury kept her off the track.

The game was a close one, with SVRG up by only ten points at half time. The tide turned in the second half, however, when SVRG often had more players in the penalty box than on the track. On numerous occasions SVRG was plagued by confusion, because a skater would get sent to the box only to find it chock full of her teammates, at which point she would have to return to the track until she was sent back. Before the midpoint of the second half, SVRG was down two skaters as both Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware had been ejected. SDDD wisely used their perpetual blocker advantage; having more blockers on the floor for nearly every jam allowed them to play woman-on-woman defense and keep one blocker solely on the SVRG jammer, limiting SVRG’s scoring. SDDD also made the most of a couple of power jams when SVRG had their jammer in the box. Gradually, they inched closer and closer, finally securing the lead in the last three jams of the night. SDDD defeated the SVRG scrappers, 97-82. One of our photographers, Adrian Valenzuela, made the trip down with us and you can see a couple of his shots here and a full Flickr set here. You can also check out other pics from the game here.

But the derby wasn’t over for the weekend. SDDD graciously hosted us at their amazing warehouse the next day so some of us could skate on a banked track for the first time. As Satan’s Kitten noted, we were all “SVRG green with envy” about the team’s space, which had room for a banked track, a regular track, workout equipment, lounging area, kids’ play area, and plenty of storage. Some of our previous night’s opponents, Bully Julie and Lila Monster, were there to give us some lessons on how to maximize our speed, hit legally, and take hits on the rail. Despite getting a serious workout the night before, we were all super psyched for the opportunity to skate on the banked track. THANK YOU SDDD and especially Julie and Lila for letting us come skate! You all are awesome!

L: SVRG hearts SDDD! On couch, Lila Monster, Bitch Puddin', Retox Fox, and Satan's Kitten; standing, Bully Julie and Belle Wringer. R: Belle, Kitten, Kimfectious, and Fox on the banked track.

L: Kimfectious and Betta Watchit on the rails. R: Kitten roars on the track.

Of course, that’s not enough derby for some of us. Some of the girls who had skated this weekend (Steffen, Dollface, Disposo, Belle, Fox, and Kimfectious) joined their teammates in welcoming some of the Santa Cruz Derby Girls for a mixed scrimmage last night. Lulu Lockjaw, Hell Louise, Pippi Hardsocking, Roxy Scarmichael, and CinZilla came out to skate with us and it was a fun evening for all. Thanks to all the refs and NSOs who made it possible, and a personal thanks to Broken Baby Doll, Panda, and the rest of the crew who came to my aid after my injury. Congratulations to Team Girth (Pandamonium, Hell Louise, Smack Dahlia, Lindsay Lohanded, Beth Sentence, Donna Diggler, Steffen, Fox, and Knuckles) who defeated Team White (Lulu, Dollface, Pippi, Roxy, CinZilla, Belle, Kimfectious, Smash ‘n’ Burn, and Disposo). Thanks to Jim Cottingham, who came out to photograph us (pics here), and a big thanks to SCDG for coming to visit!

Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

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