Dot.Kamikazes Edged Out by Arizona, Defeated by Duke, but Topple Tucson at Dust Devil

SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes traveled to Tucson for the Dust Devil tournament this past weekend. The week leading up to the tournament had not been kind to the Dots, with jammer Betta Watchit downed with an ankle injury on Sunday and blocker and defensive lynchpin Rot Wheels breaking her leg in practice on Monday. Injuries continued to haunt the team during the tournament.

The Dot.Kamikazes faced Arizona Roller Derby’s Tent City Terrors, whom they had defeated at the Bakersfield Dust Bowl tournament. Although the Dots were ahead by 50 points, Arizona made a great comeback and won, 137-133. During the game both Pia Mess and Lindsay Lohanded sustained injuries; Lohanded was forced to sit out the first bout against Duke on Sunday.

On Sunday, the Dots skated against their first nationally ranked team, #21 Duke City (from Albuquerque, NM). Although the Dots made a strong start, Duke capitalized on penalty situations moreso than SVRG and had pulled ahead 89-39 by halftime. In the first jam of the second half, SVRG jammer (and Bakersfield Dust Bowl’ tourney’s MVP) Smash ‘n’ Burn went down with a back injury and was taken off the rink on a stretcher. As she made her way to the hospital, SVRG continued to fight against Duke, but they fell 172-78.

For the final game, SVRG faced Tucson’s Furious Truckstop Waitresses. SVRG secured the lead early on with the help of a 25-point jam by Zootown Throwdown and ended the first half ahead 123-33. SVRG continued to pile up points through several power jams, winning 212-71. You can see pictures of this bout here. Thankfully, we also received the news that Smash’s x-rays had also come back okay, so Sunday ended on a high note.

Captain Smack Dahlia was awarded SVRG’s MVP for the tournament. Congratulations!

You can see more thorough coverage than my third person hearsay at Derby News Network.

Roster:

Smack Dahlia/ Pia Mess/ Death by Dollface/ MisTits/ Smash ‘n’ Burn/ Scait Riot/ Lindsay Lohanded/ Donna Diggler/ Kimfectious/  Lizapalooza/ BootyVicious/ Knuckles DeVille/ Postal Servix/ Zootown Throwdown

SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes win the Dustbowl Invitational!!

Silicon Valley represents! Photo: Jim Cottingham

That’s right, SVRG skated in their first tournament ever this weekend, and they dominated!

On Saturday, they played four 20-minute games in their pool, securing four wins. First, the Dot.Kamikazes defeated hosts Derby Revolution of Bakersfield 42-14. Next, they blew out Central California Area Derby 88-9. Then, they faced their BFFs from over the hill, the Santa Cruz Derby Girls, and triumphed 68-12. In their last pool play game, they faced tough competition from Arizona Roller Derby, but SVRG came away victorious, 45-31.

Left: MisTits and Rot Wheels render a Sac jammer hapless. Right: Pia Mess lives up to the offer stated on her booty shorts and gives the jammer a free ride. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Sunday, SVRG entered competition as the top seed. Sunday’s play featured 30-minute games. They faced Santa Cruz again, whom they beat 80-22. In the final round, they were set to play the Sac City Rollers, who had defeated Tucson. The Dots dominated Sac City, 170-100, to win their first ever tournament!

Left: Scait Riot lays into a Sac jammer; Right: Kimfectious hits so hard you can't see straight. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Special congratulations to MisTits, who was named Best Blocker, and Smash ‘n’ Burn, who earned MVP. Way to rock it, ladies!

Left: MisTits accepts her Best Blocker award, presented by Timothy Jordan, announcer extraordinnaire. Left: Smash 'n' Burn is delighted to win MVP of the tourney. Photos: Jim Cottingham

We would like to thank our **amazing** coaches, Panda, LTO, and Pia Mess, for whipping SVRG into tourney shape. Thanks to the refs and NSOs for their hard work. Thanks to all of the SVRG fans who traveled to Bako to show their support. Thank you to the ladies of Bakersfield for hosting an amazing tournament!

Thanks to Jim Cottingham for capturing all the glory! You can see his pics from the tournament here.

San Diego Hard Corps inch past KillaBytes, 108-105; Dot.Kamikazes quell the Dockyard Derby Dames, 158-88

Bitch Puddin' (right back) gives Mauly Anna (right front) some extra momentum as she goes in for the hit on San Diego jammer Blur D'Lee. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela

Wow, for those of you who couldn’t make our doubleheader on Saturday, you missed an amazing night of roller derby!

First up, the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ KillaBytes faced off against San Diego’s Hard Corps. In December, members of SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes and KillaBytes had traveled to San Diego to play a scrap bout (i.e., an unofficial bout where whomever can go and play does) with a hybrid of their A and B teams and ended up losing in the last moments of the bout. Given San Diego’s stellar level of play, the Killas were looking forward to hosting them on SVRG’s home turf. The KillaBytes were also very excited to debut three new skaters who graduated from bootcamp at the end of last season and were skating in their very first bout: Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and Catherine Beata Bones.

Top image: Bozo Disposo, Sadie Mae Gutz, Absolutely Scabulous, and pivot BootyVicious wall up. Bottom: Why, they look so sweet on the line! Belle Ringer, Sadie, Mauly Anna, and Double Knuckles pose for a family portrait. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham

San Diego started strong, setting the tone for the first half. They repeatedly contained the Killa blockers as their jammers raced through the pack. In the first half, San Diego jammers dominated the Killa jammers, securing lead 11 of 19 jams and taking control of the point spread. The Killa jammers, whose collective endurance lends itself to serious pack-lapping at times, never managed to get into the double digits in a single jam in the first half, although CynTax deftly maneuvered through a 9-point jam. In contrast, San Diego jammers Blur D’Lee (2 10-point jams) and Heidi Evidence (13-pt and 9-pt jams) racked up serious points, giving the Hard Corps a 62-38 lead by the end of the first half.

Left: Retox Fox and Catherine Beta Bones tag team the San Diego jammer; Right: Beth Sentence puts some booty into it to control the jammer.

The Killas reconfigured at halftime, but were still struggling into the fifth jam, when Blur D’Lee racked up a 20-point jam and the San Diego bench went wild at their 40 point lead, 91-51. The cheering made its way to the KillaBytes, and somewhere in that moment the tide turned. The Killas managed to turn up their offense and their defense simultaneously. Sadie Mae Gutz, Belle Wringer, and Retox Fox doled out big hits at the back of the pack and kept the Hard Corps jammers contained or on the floor. Captain Knuckles DeVille, BootyVicious, and Beth Sentence smartly controlled the front of the pack, teaming up with Mauly Anna, Bitch Puddin’, Spankin’ Firecracker, Absolutely Scabulous, Bones, and Bozo Disposo to optimize the Killa jammers’ scoring via offensive blocking and a few power whips.

The rookies rocked it last night! Absolutely Scabulous assists Catherine Beta Bones, who had the KillaBytes' highest scoring jam at 17 points.

The Killas kept the Hard Corps scoreless for six consecutive jams, recovering those 40 points and then some to pull ahead 96-91. Catherine Beata Bones shined in her debut bout, racking up the Killas’ highest scoring jam of the night at 17 points. Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown laid down a 10-point jam, and Beth Sentence, making her debut as a jammer, secured an 11-point jam. Double threat BootyVicious and CynTax rounded out the jamming rotation.

Left: Killas Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown sneaks past PT Bruiser. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham. Right: Captain Knuckles DeVille crushes Summer Crush. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela.

With 1:37 left on the clock, the game was tied 99-99. The coaches sent out their strongest packs for what appeared to be the final showdown, and Zootown Throwdown took the line against Blur D’Lee—a faceoff of the two skaters who would eventually be named their respective team’s MVPs. Killas Knuckles, Sadie, Belle, and Fox contained the nimble Blur as Zoo zipped through the pack and secured lead jammer. The Killa jammer made a full scoring pass and started on another before calling off the jam with 37 seconds left on the clock. Zoo pulled six points as the Killa pack held Blur scoreless, pushing the Killas into the lead, 105-99. The home crowd screamed as the points appeared on the scoreboard, but the Killas would have to hold down the fort for one more jam. Right off the line, the Hard Corps mapped a perfect strategy and were able to get Heidi Evidence lead jammer status. Knowing she had two minutes to work with, she raced through the pack twice and called off the jam after she hit the floor at the front of the pack. There were tense moments as the referees conferred and the scoreboard remained unchanged, but then the final score was announced. Heidi Evidence scored 9 points in the final jam, securing the win for San Diego. Although the Silicon Valley fans were disappointed at the loss, the thrill of the battle still had its rewards, and the Killas were congratulated for their amazing second half comeback. ‘Til we meet again, San Diego…

MisTits, walling up front with Postal Servix, helps Smash 'n' Burn clear the pack. Photo credit: Adrian Valenzuela

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating the faceoff against the Dockyard Derby Dames because one of their coaches, the infamous Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

Pia Mess multitasks, picking jammer T'erin Traxx off the line and clearing the path for Smack Dahlia. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

The Dot.Kamikazes started strong and never let up. Smack Dahlia laid down a 9-point jam to kick off the game while the Dots’ pack never released Dakota D. Stroya to score. Although the Dames kept the margin close for much of the first half, the Dots never surrendered the lead, pulling ahead to 75-56 by halftime buoyed by two 9-point jams and a half-ending 13-point jam by Pia Mess.

Left: Rot Wheels helps clear the way for Smash 'n' Burn while Pia Mess eyes the Dockyard jammer. Credit: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Donna Diggler contains a Dame. Credit: Jim Cottingham.

Although the Dames’ T’erin Traxx and Rocky Hardplace made the pack significantly less jammer-friendly, the Dots’ offensive blocking cleared timely paths for their jammers while Rot Wheels, Death by Dollface, Pia Mess, and Lizapalooza (also a regular whip machine), kept a powerhouse defense at the back of the pack.

Left: Feisty Irish goes after a Dockyard jammer. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Postal Servix and Kimfectious maintain a hard wall in front of the Dockyard jammer as Smack Dahlia sneaks up on the pack. Photo: Jim Cottingham.

Kimfectious, Feisty Irish, and Postal Servix, who all donned the pivot cap during the bout, Skooter Ov’r, and BootyVicious, fresh from the Killas game, filled out the pack. Donna Diggler connected on some vicious and crowd-pleasing hits. MisTits showed the crowd why her teammates recently crowned her Skater of the Month. As pivot, she nimbly switched from defense to offense, whipping her jammers out of the pack. After repeatedly flooring the Dames’ jammers, she directed them to what very may well be the least desired position on the track: having to re-enter the track, sans momentum, right behind Tits.

Smack Dahlia (58 pts.), Smash ‘n’ Burn (32 pts.), Pia Mess (43 pts.), Death by Dollface (5 pts.), and rookie Betta Watchit (20 pts.) filled out the jammer rotation. Pia Mess (7.17 points per jam) and Smack Dahlia (5.27 points per jam) impressively averaged over one scoring pass each jam. Smack proved to be the grand slam champ in the second half, earning lead jammer in every appearance and racking up a 13-pt., 2 10-pt, and an 8-pt jam. Donna Diggler and Kimfectious nobly stepped to the line for the final two jams, although both were held scoreless by a hard-hitting Dames’ pack. In the end, the Dots triumphed, 158-88.

Lizapalooza (off camera, to right) lends a helping hand to rookie Betta Watchit. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela

We would like to thank both of our opponent teams for traveling in from San Diego and Tacoma to come play us. Thank you to our amazing SVRG coaches: Pandamonium, who spends so much time off the track getting us in shape strategically; LTO, whose passion for coaching is communicated in every hand signal; Pia Mess, who whips us into such great derby shape; and Aim De Kill, who is cultivating the derby girls of tomorrow. We would like to thank our hardworking ref and NSO staff for keeping us all in line.

Special thanks to Jim Cottingham and Adrian Valenzuela for their photography and helping us share the glory with those of you who missed the bout. You can see Jim’s Killas photos here and Dots photos here; also check out his main page here, which includes some sweet galleries from Mavericks, aviation pics, and more. Adrian has Killas pics here and Dots pics here; you can also order prints from his website. (Hint: derby girls love them!)

And, as always, thanks to our friends, families, fans, sponsors, and other supporters for making this all possible!

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating this faceoff because the Dockyard Derby Dames’ coach, Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

SVRG has a fun and derbyful weekend

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ season officially ended at the November bout, but we’ve still been workin’ it out and taking any derby opportunity that rolls our way. This weekend SVRG members made appearances at Red Red Holiday, a mixed scrimmage hosted by Sac City, and a scrap team (translation: anyone who had the time & money to travel) meandered down to face some of the San Diego Derby Dolls.

Red Red was particularly exciting this year because we got to send a lot of our new blood for some scrimmage experience. In addition to SVRG vets Steffen Razor (Team Orange) and MisTits (Dark Green), five of our interns got their first taste of bouting: Bozo Disposo (Dark Blue), Cannonball Iztik (Black), Absolutely Scabulous (Red), Blanca Basura Barbie (Pink) and Catherine Beata Bones (Light Green). The ladies had a wonderful time, and three were on the top teams. Barbie’s team, Pink (too appropriate!), took first place, MisTits’s Dark Green took second, and Steffen’s Orange took third. Congratulations!

In the meantime, a bunch of scrappers were bouting in San Diego. There was a question of whether the bout would even take place, because the roof at the Del Mar Fairgrounds was leaking in several places above the concrete track. Thing is, you can’t just tell derby girls there’s no derby. After consulting both teams, SDDD’s Bonnie D. Stroir declared that the game would go on, with some brave volunteers actively toweling the wet spots on the floor.

Because SVRG couldn’t field a whole team, we were grateful for the assistance of a couple of Central Coast Roller Derby ladies, Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware, to help fill our roster. Ivana joined Pia Mess, Death by Dollface, CynTax, and Betta Watchit (in her bout debut)  in the jamming rotation, while Rot Wheels, Kimfectious, Lizapalooza, Belle Wringer, Satan’s Kitten, Bitch Puddin’, Retox Fox, and BootyVicious performed blocker duties. Refs Texas Tea Bag and All Nate Long made the trip with the team, and the most honorable Aim De Kill tackled lineups for the group since her knee injury kept her off the track.

The game was a close one, with SVRG up by only ten points at half time. The tide turned in the second half, however, when SVRG often had more players in the penalty box than on the track. On numerous occasions SVRG was plagued by confusion, because a skater would get sent to the box only to find it chock full of her teammates, at which point she would have to return to the track until she was sent back. Before the midpoint of the second half, SVRG was down two skaters as both Ivanator and Lacy Thunderware had been ejected. SDDD wisely used their perpetual blocker advantage; having more blockers on the floor for nearly every jam allowed them to play woman-on-woman defense and keep one blocker solely on the SVRG jammer, limiting SVRG’s scoring. SDDD also made the most of a couple of power jams when SVRG had their jammer in the box. Gradually, they inched closer and closer, finally securing the lead in the last three jams of the night. SDDD defeated the SVRG scrappers, 97-82. One of our photographers, Adrian Valenzuela, made the trip down with us and you can see a couple of his shots here and a full Flickr set here. You can also check out other pics from the game here.

But the derby wasn’t over for the weekend. SDDD graciously hosted us at their amazing warehouse the next day so some of us could skate on a banked track for the first time. As Satan’s Kitten noted, we were all “SVRG green with envy” about the team’s space, which had room for a banked track, a regular track, workout equipment, lounging area, kids’ play area, and plenty of storage. Some of our previous night’s opponents, Bully Julie and Lila Monster, were there to give us some lessons on how to maximize our speed, hit legally, and take hits on the rail. Despite getting a serious workout the night before, we were all super psyched for the opportunity to skate on the banked track. THANK YOU SDDD and especially Julie and Lila for letting us come skate! You all are awesome!

L: SVRG hearts SDDD! On couch, Lila Monster, Bitch Puddin', Retox Fox, and Satan's Kitten; standing, Bully Julie and Belle Wringer. R: Belle, Kitten, Kimfectious, and Fox on the banked track.

L: Kimfectious and Betta Watchit on the rails. R: Kitten roars on the track.

Of course, that’s not enough derby for some of us. Some of the girls who had skated this weekend (Steffen, Dollface, Disposo, Belle, Fox, and Kimfectious) joined their teammates in welcoming some of the Santa Cruz Derby Girls for a mixed scrimmage last night. Lulu Lockjaw, Hell Louise, Pippi Hardsocking, Roxy Scarmichael, and CinZilla came out to skate with us and it was a fun evening for all. Thanks to all the refs and NSOs who made it possible, and a personal thanks to Broken Baby Doll, Panda, and the rest of the crew who came to my aid after my injury. Congratulations to Team Girth (Pandamonium, Hell Louise, Smack Dahlia, Lindsay Lohanded, Beth Sentence, Donna Diggler, Steffen, Fox, and Knuckles) who defeated Team White (Lulu, Dollface, Pippi, Roxy, CinZilla, Belle, Kimfectious, Smash ‘n’ Burn, and Disposo). Thanks to Jim Cottingham, who came out to photograph us (pics here), and a big thanks to SCDG for coming to visit!

Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

SVRG double header a double triumph: KillaBytes bury the Undead Bettys and Dot.Kamikazes take down the Redwood Rollers

SVRG closed out a stellar season with double wins as the KillaBytes defeated the Brentwood Undead Bettys 155-104 and the Dot.Kamikazes beat the Humboldt Redwood Rollers 159-63.

The KillaBytes, who hadn’t played a home game since May, brought in the crowds for their second home bout during the 2009 season. Considering their last bout was in August, the team was reared up and ready to take on Brentwood’s Undead Bettys last Saturday.

Although the Killas and the Bettys had not yet faced off, some of the Killas had skated with the Bettys earlier in the season against the Santa Cruz Harbor Hellcats. In the spirit of sharing, some of the Santa Cruz women helped the Bettys fill out their roster for this bout. Don’t let the numbers fool, you, though; although the Bettys may have trouble fielding 14 of their own for an away bout, they have a strong core of skaters and the Killas knew they would be tough opponents.

Given the Bettys’ lineup of brutal blockers, including Lisafer, Luna Tix, and Cemetery Mary, the Killas’ theme for the night seemed to be “Help Your Jammer Out.”  After a close first half, the Killas had crept ahead of the Bettys, 76 to 61. The KillaBytes continued to employ a number of strategies that ensured that their jammers would get the support they needed to make it through the pack efficiently and put points on the board.

Left: Dirty Thirty and Texas ChanaSaw Massacre wall up. Right: Belle Wringer, Retox Fox, and Aim De Kill pin some Bettys to clear a route for Postal Servix (Photo credits: Nocklebeast).

These strategies resulted in several high-scoring, grand-slamming jams. Zootown Throwdown, who was named the KillaBytes’ MVP by the Bettys, threw down 84 points in 11 jams, including a 20-point jam in the second half. Postal Servix toed the line 12 times, bringing home 47 points, including a 15-point jam—a remarkable feat considering the fact that a) she had to roll right in to skate for the Dot.Kamikazes in the next bout;  and b) she skated through foot pain, and after the bout she discovered she had a fracture in her foot. (Servix is now in a walking cast and out for the remainder of the season.) CynTax skated in eight jams, putting 24 points on the board. Juicy K. Tore, who also skated with the Dot.Kamz, filled out the jammer rotation.

Top left: Belle Wringer clears the line for Zootown Throwdown (Photo credit: Nocklebeast); top right: Juicy K. Tore gives Postal Servix a helping hand (Boss Hogg). Bottom left: Retox Fox contains so CynTax clear the pack (Nocklebeast); Bottom right: Captain Aim De Kill whips Zoo to the front (Nocklebeast).

The indomitable Aim De Kill, Steffen Razor, and Double Knuckles DeVille managed the pack at pivot. Belle Wringer and Satan’s Kitten both made impressive outings in their second official bout for the Killas. Mauly Anna, Retox Fox, and Dirty Thirty also worked the pack. ChanaSaw Massacre returned to the rink with her signature snowplow after a long season of injury, including a broken hand and back issues. Sadie Mae Gutz  made the comeback of the season, playing in her first bout since giving birth to a baby girl (named, yes, Sadie) less than a month ago. Don’t tell me derby girls don’t LOVE LOVE LOVE this sport, folks: that is some serious commitment.

KillaByte Captain Aim De Kill announced her retirement.

And speaking of someone who has some serious LOVE LOVE LOVE for this sport, the KillaByte captain, Aim DeKill, announced her retirement  at the bout. Although she will not be skating next season, she will be taking an active role as a coach, helping our new class of bootcampers in the spring. All of the Silicon Valley Roller Girls want to thank Aim, our Mama Byte, for being such a remarkable and compassionate skater and friend. She truly embodies all that is the SVRG spirit.

Unfortunately, as is the way with derby, your reporter had to work during the Dot.Kamikazes bout, so my observations are here and there. Check out our announcer Killer Vee’s writeup here and her KillaBytes writeup here.

From what I could see, the Humboldt Redwood Rollers looked like a very coordinated and agile team. In the end, however, they were no match for the Dot.Kamikaze defense and power jamming. The stats show that, aside from Sissy Jr. scoring 13 points in the second jam, the Dot.Kamikaze pack prevented Humboldt’s jammers from ever making more than one scoring pass in a given jam. The Dot.Kam jammers frequently managed more than one scoring pass through the pack and often grand-slammed Humboldt. Pia Mess thrilled the crowd as she closed out the game with a 25 (arguably 30, as she was shooting through the pack as the whistle blew) point jam.

Here are some shots from the game:

Left: SKooter Ov'r eyes a Roller, while Lizapalooza takes out two blockers and the jammer singlehandedly, clearing the way for Dollface (Nocklebeast). Middle: MisTits makes a Roller into a Flyer. Right: Donna Diggler and Lindsay Lohanded pick off the Humboldt jammer.

Left: Smash 'n' Burn deftly stays in bounds. Middle: Smack Dahlia provides her own D. Right: Death by Dollface gets a monster whip from Pia Mess. (All photos: Boss Hogg).

THANK YOU! SVRG Skate-o-thon raises over $9,000!

Friends, family, volunteers: what can we say. We are so thankful for your generosity. We were amazed by your outpouring of support. Thanks to you, we raised over $9,000 and will be able to maintain our schedule for the 2010 season. Here are some pictures and details from the Skate-o-thon in case you didn’t make it out to see us.

Far left: Costume contest winner Weavin' Kohl Bear as Cruella De Vil. Mid left: Bitch Puddin' was our #1 fundraiser as well as 2nd in our costume contest. Two jobs very well done! Mid right: Fox tied Puddin' for top number of contributors. Far right: CynTax garnered the largest donation to a single skater and also showed her jamming endurance as she skated the most laps.

Top 5 fundraisers:
1. Bitch Puddin: an astounding $1,110!!!
2. Death by Dollface: $595
3. Retox Fox:  $571.20
4. Rot Wheels: $560
5. Pia Mess: $494.07

Honorable mentions at 6 & 7: Smack Dahlia $440 &  new recruit Jayanti $439.99
Most Pledges:
Bitch Puddin’ and Retox Fox: 18 each- tie
Death by Dollface: 15
Rot Wheels and Jayanti: 12 each- tie

Most Laps:

CynTax: 315 (that’s nearly 24 miles in 2 hours, folks!)

Death by Dollface: 276

LTO: 273

Rot Wheels: 268

Retox Fox: 262

And most importantly, Best Costume went to Weavin’ Kohl Bear, who came as Cruella de Vil, complete with a dalmation-decorated skate to tow. She narrowly defeated Bitch Puddin’s SVRG-colored lucha libre getup.

My personal favorite costumes, sported by two of our top fundraisers: Rot Wheels as a pregnant nun and Pia Mess as an American Gladiator.

We would like to issue a special thank you to our top donors. #1 fundraiser Bitch Puddin’ wants to give an extra shout out to the patrons of Fred’s Place, Teskes, and Henry’s Hi-Life for their contributions. Thanks to CynTax’s employer, Sunol Valley Golf Club.  Thank you to Steve Wozniak for his continued support of the team as well as pledges that helped individual skaters reach their goals. And a  special thanks to our superfan Arcady, who came out to see us at the Skate-o-thon and pledged $400 right on the spot!!

Thank you, everyone, for helping the Silicon Valley Roller Girls keep skating!! Now, come see the fruits of your donations at our last home bout on November 14th!

SVRG Dot.Kamikazes dominate the Orange County Crushers, 132-64

The best offense is a good defense. L: Pia Mess takes care of an OC blocker. R: Aim De Kill controls not one but two of OC's pack. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Reporting by Kimfectious

When I say SV, you say RG! Over and over, Skooter Ov’r got the crowd pumped up to cheer for their hometown favorites, the Dot.Kamikazes, as they battled it out with Orange County’s Orange Crushers.  As the two teams rolled out, Juicy K. Tore of SVRG cartwheeled her way into her birthday bout, setting the mood for a fun and action packed night.  The crowd was already going nuts as the girls lined up for the first whistle blow.

Juicy K. Tore celebrated her birthday bout by cartwheeling out onto the track and enjoying an extra long birthday spank alley at half time. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Pia Mess started off the first jam with 14 points.  Both her booty and her attitude taunted the opposing team with “I dare you.”  Smash & Burn, Smack Dahlia, and Terribelle Demise proved to be a strong jammer rotation for Silicon Valley, with Wild Bella, B Train, D Cup Runneth Over, and Ice Cube sportin’ the star for Orange County.  OC’s Kina Wahine also served double duty, jamming and playing defense in the pack.

SVRG had the advantage of a full roster, while the Orange Crushers played with only 11 skaters.  None of this seemed to faze Kina Wahine. The Hawaiian honey of Orange County skated full force in the pack.  She led the Crushers in the right direction and constantly had her eyes locked on the SVRG jammer.  Also bringin’ it for OC was Brik Wall and Street Cred. Both ladies dished out some gnarly hits. Loca Mafiosa, Hell Toro, Rotten O, and Mia Roller comprised the rest of the Crusher defense.

Who said blockers have all the fun? Photo: Jim Cottingham

Mistits and Rot Wheels, SVRG’s pivots, held down the front while Donna Diggler, Juicy K. Tore, The Beast, Lizapalooza, Aim to Kill, Lindsay Lohanded, Postal Servix, and Death by Dollface rocked the defense in the rest of the pack. This wall of black and green worked together to smush the Crushers to the outside or drive them to the inside, leaving just inches for the SVRG jammer to sneak by.

By jam 9, the score was OC 15 and SVRG 50.  Then Silicon Valley’s dynamic defense, by both blockers and jammers, denied Orange County any points for 8 jams in a row.  Kina Wahine muscled through and scored two points in the 19^th jam of the period.

Pia Mess proved her diversity as a player, by playing every single position in the pack, and as a jammer she had an awesome average of 6.33 points per jam. In her first game as a Dot.Kamikaze, Postal Servix proved to be an effective blocker and jammer.  She scored 14 points in three jams, and just may be rookie of the season.

In the second half, Orange County came back strong.  They effectively used the twenty foot rule (i.e., a blocker must be within 20 feet of the pack in order to hit or engage the jammer) to control the pack and score some points. B-train and Ice Cube each chipped away at the score, getting a few points and then calling off the jam before SVRG could score.  The Orange Crushers were lead jammer for the first seven jams, until SVRG’s Pia Mess came back in the 8^th jam as lead jammer.  As the second half went on, SVRG kept getting stronger and scoring more points.  Both teams were all smiles as the last jam ran out, final score 134 to 67. After a victory lap, each team announced its MVPs, with Smack Dahlia, who jammed for 41 points, representing SVRG, and Street Cred and her awesome defense winning it for the OC.

Thanks again to the awesome Kimfectious for the reporting!

We would like to give a special thanks to all of the Santa Cruz Derby Girls fans who came out to support your NorCal sisters—your presence and cheering was much appreciated!

As per usual, we would like to thank our hard-working ref and NSO staff; our great announcing team, Timothy Jordan, 92.3 FM’s Teddy Bynum, and SVRG Renaissance woman Skooter Ov’r; our wonderful coaches, Pandamonium, Left Turn Only, and Pia Mess; our volunteers, for their hard work; and our families, friends,sponsors, and fans for their forever support.

Don’t forget to mark your calendars for SVRG’s last home game, a doubleheader at San Jose Skate on November 14!! You’ll get to see both the Dot.Kamikazes and the KillaBytes in their last game of the season!

SVRG Dot.Kamikazes dominate ACDG Rocket Queens, 209-45

It's a girl! SVRG's Death by Dollface, Rot Wheels, and Aim de Kill contain the ACDG defense while birthing jammer Pia Mess. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

This past Saturday, SVRG hosted the Angel City Derby Girls’ Rocket Queens at San Jose Skate. A turn in unseasonably cool August weather heated up the venue, but thankfully there was plenty of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Faultline beer to keep the crowd cooled off.

This bout was a notable event for two skaters: First, Death by Dollface made her triumphant return to the track. Not only was she the typical terror on wheels in the pack, but she also took a couple of turns jamming—and grand slamming—scoring a 15-point jam and then closing out the game with a 20-point jam. Second, this was blocker/fear-invoker The Beast’s first bout on the Dot.Kamikaze roster this season, and she brought down the house…not to mention a number of Rocket Queens. My personal favorite moment of the bout was looking up to see a downed Beast springing up from the floor, catching up with the pack, and singlehandedly taking out the Rocket Queens’ 4, then their 3, and then the jammer, all within a half-lap of the track…phenomenal.

These ain't no sugar walls. Left: Death by Dollface and Rot Wheels pin back a Rocket Queen jammer. Right: Feisty Irish and Pia Mess partner up at the back of the pack. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

Indeed, SVRG’s defense stalled the ACDG jammers. While blocking, Pia Mess buzzed around jammers, keeping them engaged long enough to secure the SVRG jammer a grand slam before ACDG could manage a scoring pass. Aim De Kill, Rot Wheels, and BootyVicious often controlled the front of the pack, while Feisty Irish hovered near the back, keeping ACDG neatly contained. Donna Diggler and SKooter Ov’r delivered swooping hits while Rot Wheels picked Rocket Queen blockers off the line, insuring safe passage for the SVRG jammers. The SVRG defense was so successful that they held ACDG scoreless in 21 of the 34 jams, and ACDG only scored more than 4 points in a jam once.

BootyVicious stays low and balanced as she gracefully evades a killer hit. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

Offensively, SVRG was unstoppable. Eleven of SVRG’s 14 skaters took a turn at the jammer line. Aside from usual jammers Smack Dahlia, Smashleigh aka Smashes of Evil, Terribelle Demise, and Pia Mess (who raced to a 19-point jam), Dot.Kamikazes Feisty Irish, Juicy K. Tore, BootyVicious, Death by Dollface, Lizapalooza, SKooter Ov’r, and team captain Rot Wheels (who scored a 15-point jam) all donned the star cap. SVRG completed eight jams with 10+ points.

You can see more amazing photos from the bout at Jim Cottingham’s site here.

SVRG would like to thank our amazing coaches, Pandamonium, Left Turn Only (so glad to see you running around again!), and Pia Mess. Thanks to the Angel City Rocket Queens for making the trek up to see us. Thanks to our amazing bout coordinator and totally-on-it crew: Lizapalooza, Death by Dollface, Frida Khill*ya, and Broken Babydoll, plus all the other SVRGs working their buns off. Special thanks to our wonderful zebras Texas Tea Bag, Jonny Demonic, Hannah Grenade, Hue Refner, Ulrich Von Hurtem, Winnie Baygo, and Randy Eye Candy, and our herd of NSOs: Jacques Strappe, Se7en Year Bitch, Frida Khill*ya, Sam Hain, Rocky Launcher, Dorothy Vader, Cole Cocked, Mauly Anna, Lindsay Lohanded, Organ Doaner, ChanaSaw Massacre, Belle Wringer, Frisky Business, and 18 Wheeler. Special shoutout to our girl (and NSO) Needles Fever! Thanks to our fab announcers: SVRG’s own Lip$tick Bandita (can’t wait ‘til you’re back on the track, chica), radio host Teddy Bynum, and the always fabulous, multi-talented Timothy Jordan. Thank you Dr. Tony Kearns for keeping us all together. A final thanks to all of our volunteers, sponsors, and fans—we couldn’t do it without you!

KillaBytes trounce Ventura Battalion of Skates, 202-32; Dot.Kamikazes defeat Vendolls, 70-67

Both SVRG teams loaded up and headed to sunny SoCal to take on Ventura County Derby Darlins. The KillaBytes faced off against Ventura’s Battalion of Skates, and the Dot.Kamikazes took on the Vendolls.

The Killas were pumped for their game for several reasons. They had been practicing several strategies that they wanted to test out in a bout. Because both SVRG teams have been impacted by inevitable injuries, we were thrilled that some of our friends at CCRD would be helping us fill out our roster. Also, there were some bout cherries to be popped: Bitch Puddin’ and yours truly, Retox Fox, skated in our first official bout—and let me tell you, it was great to break 200 points in our first outing!

Double Easy, CynTax, Zootown Throwdown, and Postal Servix handled most of the jamming duty. Golden Delicious, on loan from CCRD, also jammed a couple of times. During one jam pivot Steffen Razor received a star pass from Double Easy to also put some points on the board.  Aim De Kill, Retox Fox, and Badass Blondee (CCRD) also each jammed once, with Aim scoring 16 points and Blondee securing 20 in the last jam of the game.

Top left: Postal Servix prepares for another high-scoring jam. Top right: Lead jammer CynTax completes a grand slam. Bottom left: Servix controls the pack while Steffen Razor (r) jams after Easy's star pass. Bottom left: Aim De Kill rallies during her 16 point jam. Photos: Nathan Quihuis & Patrick Wills

The KillaByte blockers were also on their game. Mafia Mistress (CCRD) and Bitch Puddin’ effectively held the line against Ventura’s jammers. Aim, Steffen, Servix, Mauly Anna, and Dirty Thirty often teamed up in twos or threes to form impenetrable walls at the front of the pack. In my opinion, it was our 4s who were the most formidable presence on the track. The Beast often had Ventura’s jammer on the ground a half-dozen times in a single jam, while Badass Blondee doled out the kind of hits that could give a girl amnesia.

Left: Bitch Puddin' helps Double Easy sneak by on the line while Steffen Razor goes after Ventura's jammer. Right: Beast and CynTax come out ready for action. Photos: Nathan Quihuis

The bout had its share of memorable moments. At one point, the KillaBytes had 2 blockers in the box and a third didn’t make it onto the track before the whistle blew, leaving Aim De Kill to hold down the fort against the Battalion of Skates all by herself! All in all, it was a fun game, and we were happy to share the track with such a gracious bunch of ladies.

Aim takes on Ventura singlehandedly. Photo: Lindsay

The Dot.Kamikazes were impressed by the Killas’ point margin, but they knew they had their work cut out for them. The Vendolls are known for being a hard-hitting bunch that like to travel in a fast pack. While the Dot.Kams have the speed and endurance to run with a fast pack, they had an additional challenge. As SVRG is used to skating on an indoor track, the outdoor rink’s polished concrete surface was an advantage to the home team. In the first half, several of the Dot.Kamikazes skidded out on the corners as their hard, rink-accustomed wheels slid on the slick surface. Ventura wisely took advantage of SVRG’s unfamiliarity with the surface, delivering hits on slippery turns and having their jammers sneak by when SVRG’s blockers drifted from the line. As a result, some Dot.Kams swapped out their wheels for grippier ones during halftime, which led to significantly fewer falls in the second half.

There was some fine skating to be seen in this bout. Both teams’ impressive defense kept the jams relatively low-scoring, although Ventura’s superspeedy Devious Dutchess had a couple of amazing runs. Both teams successfully employed solid walls to trap their opponents and waterfalls to deliver repeated hits to the opposing jammers. Ventura’s blockers were especially effective at popping up after hard hits and speeding back into the pack.

For the Dot.Kams, Smashleigh, Smack Dahlia, Terribelle Demise, The Undie Taker, and Pia Mess handled jamming, with Terribelle, Undie Taker, and Pia doing double duty as blockers too. Rot Wheels, Lizapalooza, Lindsay Lohanded, Juicy K. Tore, SKooter Ov’r, and Donna Diggler rocked the defense. Steffen Razor, who had already skated full-time in the Killas game, demonstrated her remarkable endurance by also skating on the Dot.Kams roster.

You can read about the bout from Chris of The Best Damn Sports Show Period here.

SVRG would like to thank Ventura for hosting us, and to our great zebra and NSO crew. Thanks to Weavin’ Kohl Bear, Texas T-Bag, Jonny Demonic, Se7en Year Bitch, and Private ChokeHer for coming down to SoCal with us. The KillaBytes would like to extend a special thank you to CCRD’s Badass Blondee, Golden Delicious, and Mafia Mistress, who helped us fill out our roster. You ladies were a perfect fit! Thank you to our amazing coaches, Left Turn Only and Pia Mess for the KillaBytes, and LTO and Death by Dollface for the Dot.Kamikazes. An additional thanks to Pandamonium for working so hard to prep us in her absence. Special thanks to all of our friends and family who came to Ventura to support us! We know it was a long drive but it kept us motivated to hear all the SVRG cheering!

Stripes defeat the Stars in SVRG exhibition bout

A special thanks to Weavin’ Kohl Bear for this compelling account of the SVRG exhibition bout while I was off road trippin’.

For their second exhibition bout at Roosevelt Park, SVRG split itself into two teams, the Stars and the Stripes. Skaters set aside their signature green and black for red, white, and blue in an early celebration of Independence Day. The roller girls had a chance to show their creativity as well as athleticism as they bouted in homemade uniforms that expressed their personal style. To complete the theme, the teams’ patriotic looks were topped off by custom jammer and pivot helmet covers, hand-made by skater Steffen Razor.

Team Stripes took the early lead, with jammers Smashleigh, CynTax, and The Undietaker earning a combined 16 points in the first three jams while their blockers kept the Stars jammers from scoring a single point. Team Stars fought back in the fourth jam, shutting out the Stripes and putting 4 points on the scoreboard, but they just couldn’t stop the Stripes’ momentum.

Team Stars pushed themselves to gain the lead, with three of their skaters jamming in back-to-back jams in the 90-degree heat; in roller derby, though, your score is limited by how many times your jammer can lap the pack. Jammers do not score on their first pass through the pack, and Team Stars jammers were never able to make it through the pack more than twice in the first period, limiting their ability to put points on the board. Team Stripes achieved several scoring passes, including one 10-point jam by Feisty Irish where she earned two grand slam points for lapping the opposing team’s jammer, as well as earning points on each Stars blocker. At the end of the first period, the Stripes were ahead of the Stars, 46-11.

In the second period, Team Stars exploded off the jam line like a 4th of July firecracker, and Stars jammers scored 9 points to the Stripes’ 4 in the first three jams. In the fourth jam, Team Stars’ Double Easy had one of the biggest jams of the game, with three scoring passes that totaled 11 points, equivalent to the Stars’ first period total score. The Stars were definitely making a comeback, but there’s always one factor that can change the game: penalties.

Team Stars had twice as many major penalties as Team Stripes during the second period, which took their skaters off the track and gave the Stripes an advantage. Skaters must serve one full minute in the penalty box every time they earn one major penalty or accrue four minor penalties. Because of the extreme heat, Stars & Stripes played two 20-minute periods rather than the traditional 30-minute periods; in the second period, Stars skaters spent a total of 12 minutes in the penalty box.

The Stripes took advantage of their opponents’ time in the penalty box, and jammer Smashleigh skated an 11-point jam, matching the Stars’ Double Easy for the highest-scoring jam of the bout. Team Stripes seemed to have another trick up their sleeve that brought them an advantage: of the 11 skaters on the Stripes roster, 9 of them took on the role of jammer during the bout. This versatility allowed each jammer more time to rest between jams, while the six Stars jammers spent more time fighting their way through the pack. Ultimately, while Team Stars was able to close the gap on the Stripes’ lead, the Stripes were victorious, with the final score of 79-50.

In spite of the heat, SVRG’s second exhibition bout was a success. Graduates of SVRG’s first eight-week skills Boot Camp attended their first bout as official league members. Our referee crew was able to cheer on refs The Se7en Year Bitch (SVRG) and All Nate Long (Undead Betties) in their first bout on eight wheels, as we said a sad goodbye to veteran ref Needle Fever, who is transferring to Central Coast Roller Derby.

Special thanks to referees Dual Cannonz and Winnie Baygo from Santa Cruz Derby Girls, All Nate Long from the Undead Betties, Randy Eye Candy from Central Coast Roller Derby and announcers Koach Kahuna and Bad Ass Blondee from CCRD for volunteering their time and making our bout a success.

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