Tag Archives: KillaBytes

Win, Lose, or Tie, SVRG ‘til We Die!

On Saturday, June 23rd at San Jose Skate, SVRG hosted teams from Salt Lake City, Utah, and San Luis Obispo County for a double header that kept fans cheering for 4 hours of non-stop derby action. If you missed out, here’s a recap.

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Ali3 Kitt3n paws at Pia Mess

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Ali3 Kitt3n paws at Pia Mess

Dot.Kamikazes vs. Wasatch Midnight Terror

The girls from Salt Lake City used the successful tactic of getting lead and calling off the jam before SVRG had a chance to score. Wasatch secured lead jammer 4 times as often as the Dots, and the score inched up as Wasatch nickel-and-dimed their way while holding SVRG scoreless.

It was Lindsay Lohanded’s first game back from medical leave this season; and she made a fierce 2-woman wall with Catherine Beata Bones. However, the Dots served double the time that Wasatch spent in the box, and a halftime score of 132-35 didn’t bode well. For a play-by-play of the 2nd period, read the textcast on Derby News Network.

Throughout the game, Wasatch rotated 4 jammers—Ali3 Kitt3n, Harry Slaughter, Moon Raker (high-scorer with 91 points), and Skull Candi. SVRG named Ali3 Kitt3n as Wasatch’s MVP, and Wasatch chose SVRG’s Catherine Beata Bones for MVP in recognition of her amazing blocking skills. Pia Mess was the Dots’ high-scoring jammer with a total of 36 points.

It’s midpoint in the season, and Wasatch Roller Derby’s Midnight Terror came from Utah to contend for seeding at the WFTDA Western Regional Playoffs. Wasatch’s defeat of SVRG (261-70) and Santa Cruz (158-69) during their West Coast tour gives them a shot at the playoffs between the top 10 teams in the region this fall. At the end of the 1st quarter, SVRG was ranked 12th, Wasatch was 15th, and Santa Cruz was 17th in the West. We’ll have to wait and see how these games affect the 2nd quarter standings.

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Asian Orange, Avida Sane, and Skirt Vonna-Gut contain 5 Cities Roller Kitties' jammer

©2012 Mark Nockleby, Asian Orange, Avida Sane, and Skirt Vonna-Gut contain 5 Cities Roller Kitties’ jammer

KillaBytes vs. 5 Cities Roller Kitties

The catfight between San Luis Obispo County’s Kitties and the KillaBytes was one of many firsts. It was Evel Kniebreaker’s first time on a Killa’s roster, and Volcanic Ash’s first bout skating with SVRG after transferring from Sin City Rollergirls. It was the Killa’s first win by a landslide 250 points and the first time any SVRG jammer scored 33 points in a single jam.

The Killas showed strong defensive skills, holding the Kitties scoreless in 21 out of 33 total jams. By the end of the 1st period, the Killas had already secured a 139-point lead (174-35). During a Kitties’ power jam in the 2nd half, with only 2 Killas (Surge and Evel Kniebreaker) on the track, SVRG’s 2-woman wall was able to hold the Kitties’ jammer back for a while.

In the 12th jam of the 2nd period, the crowd witnessed a rare moment in derby when Juicy K. Tore passed the star to Skirt Vonna-Gut who caught a unicorn on a power jam and kept going to score a total of 33 points in a single jam! They were assisted by their fearsome pack—Jem Jones, Culo Whippin’, and Asian Orange—who took a knee on the jammer line for an immediate panty pass at the start.

S.S. BattelHips led the Kitties with most points, being accountable for 24 of the 68 total points scored during the bout. Almost all the Killas took turns jamming, and the high-scorers of the night were Skirt Vonna-Gut with 52 points and Evel Kniebreaker with 39 points. Mad 4 Gravy, Juicy K. Tore, and Avida Sane scored 33 points each. The final score was 318-68.

Thanks to Wasatch Midnight Terror and the 5 Cities Roller Kitties for two great games. We appreciate all our fans, medics, Dr. Mike Rogerson chiropractor, officials, coaches, and photographers (Donalee Eiri, Mike Ko, and Mark Nockleby) for volunteering their time and talents.


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Richmond Trounces Dots and Mendo Brings Mayhem

Did you miss our May 19th double header at San Jose Skate? Here’s a recap.

©2012 beakertehmuppet, SVRG’s Pia Mess gets between B.A.D.’s Demanda Riot and Chiquita Bonanza

©2012 beakertehmuppet, SVRG’s Pia Mess gets between B.A.D.G’s Demanda Riot and Chiquita Bonanza

Dot.Kamikazes Lose to B.A.D. Girls’ Richmond Wrecking Belles 238-89

In the first few jams, SVRG countered the B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls’ scrum starts with a hit-it-and-quit-it lead jammer strategy, effectively keeping the Wrecking Belles from scoring. But in the 4th jam, the Belles’ lead jammer Chiquita Bonanza scored 11 points to pull ahead. The Wrecking Belles kept crowding the jammer line on a knee to immediately start the jam, and the Dots kept calling it off before Richmond could score any time we had lead jammer status.

The Wrecking Belles’ defensive blockers were a force to be reckoned with, and on several occasions our jammers had trouble getting out of the pack on their initial pass. However, SVRG’s jammers Bad Tempt-Her and Pia Mess did pull out some jammer-on-jammer action. Even the fearsome Demanda Riot was toppled by SVRG’s Bionic BabyDoll as well as by Absolutely Scabulous, but Richmond’s plays were simply better overall. Numerous penalties resulted in high-scoring power jams, like the one in which Skater 26, Chantilly Mace, scored a whopping 34 points. The Wrecking Belles ran away with it and by the end of the first half had a 98-point lead.

The Dots maintained their reputation as a strong second-half team, and kept up the fight. Highlights included a star pass from Smack Dahlia to her pivot Bionic BabyDoll and a 9-point jam with Zootown Throwdown as lead jammer combined with a tight SVRG defense, which allowed the Dots to put some points on the board. Nevertheless, the deficit was too great to make a comeback, especially after Kitt Turbo passed the star to Demanda Riot racking up a total of 25 points in a single jam to pass the 2nd century mark. Proving that we won’t roll over easily, Bad Tempt-Her scored 24 points in the last power jam. The Wrecking Belles won the game 233-89.

©2012 beakertehmuppet, Avida Sane gets a unicorn in the final jam.

©2012 beakertehmuppet, Avida Sane almost gets a unicorn in the final jam.

KillaBytes Defeated by Mendo Mayhem 268-128

Our derby sisters from Mendocino County traveled to San Jose to play the Killas. It was good to see SVRG’s Mad 4 Gravy and Bitch Puddin’ back on the track for the first time this season since recovering from injuries.

Mendo took the lead early on in the 3rd jam, when a major cut by Bullet Sucker left their jammer, ariel-LA-twister, to jam unopposed and grab 24 points. Still on a power jam in the 4th, Mendo took a knee on the jammer line for an immediate start. Nonetheless, Mendo’s jammer Pain Galuara had trouble getting around a fierce wall made by Booty Vicious, Culo Whippin’, and Jem Jones on her initial pass. It was a different story for Pain Galuara in the 10th jam when she made 7 laps around the track for 28 points with only 2 SVRG blockers on the track. The score was 171-41 in Mendo’s favor at the half.

Overall, Mendo was delivering some hard hits. There were penalties aplenty: JC’s Cassius Clay spent the most time in the box for Mendo and all but 2 Killas served time in the sin bin. SVRG’s jammers Mongoose and Avida Sane scored the most points for the Killas, while ariel-LA-twister, Pain Galaura, and Chica Boom piled up the points for Mendocino County.

It was déjà vu all over again when Avida Sane fought to the finish, scoring 24 points in the final jam. Mendo upset the Killas in a decisive defeat 268-128.

In both bouts SVRG made a solid effort, but our opponents nabbed lead jammer status more often. We’d like to thank the Wrecking Belles and Mendo Mayhem for giving us a level of play to strive for. This summer slump isn’t going to last long with our renewed training efforts!

$10 Tickets to Our Next Home Bout

Come watch the Dots contend for a spot at the Western Regional Playoffs in a pivotal game against Wasatch on June 23rd. Afterwards, the Killas will catfight…bout the 5 Cities Roller Kitties, that is. As a way of saying thanks to our loyal fans, we’re offering a summer special—tickets for only 10 bucks! Get ‘em at Brown Paper Tickets before they’re sold out.

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Killas Take a Byte out of Sacramento

By Bitch Puddin’

©2012 beakertehmuppet, Juicy’s 15-point Jam!

©2012 beakertehmuppet, Juicy’s 15-point Jam!

While SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes were playing their way through the Dust Devil Tournament in Tucson, the KillaBytes took on the Folsom Prison Bruisers in Sacramento on April 14th.

The Killas took the lead early on and kept it throughout the entire game. Folsom put up a good fight but SVRG took advantage of their power jams and held Sac City scoreless for a number of jams.

SVRG’s blockers Juicy K. Tore, Jem Jones, and Avida Sane got in more than a couple of brutally effective hits, while jammer Mongoose had no problem getting through Folsom’s pack. It was exciting to see newly rostered KillaBytes Asian Orange, Surge, and Bullet Sucker out on the track. Bullet managed to score 20 points her first time as jammer. Juicy K. Tore and Unleasha Moore were also high-scorers with double-digit jams.

All of SVRG’s skaters took a turn as jammer, and had fun doing it. The KillaBytes went home victorious with a final score of 172-109. This win was dedicated to Mad-Eye Molly who was unable to bout due to an injury. One heartbeat, Killas!

©2012 beakertehmuppet, SVRG’s Culo Whippin’, Surge, and Skirt Vonna-Gut Pen Sac City’s jammer Freddie Stare

©2012 beakertehmuppet, SVRG’s Culo Whippin’, Surge, and Skirt Vonna-Gut pen Sac City’s jammer Freddie Stare

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Head-to-Head Battle with Santa Cruz Ends in Victory for SVRG

by Bitch Puddin’

The March 24th home opener against our rivals from over the hill was nothing less than amazing! Two bouts pitted both the travel and B teams of Silicon Valley and Santa Cruz against each other.

SVRG’s Dot Kamikazes vs. SCDG’s Boardwalk Bombshells

SVRG’s Kozmo Trouble and Sasha Degrader hold off SCDG’s Foxee Firestorm, ©2012 Mark Nockleby

©2012 Mark Nockleby,
SVRG’s Kozmo Trouble and Sasha Degrader hold off SCDG’s Foxee Firestorm

Both teams were well matched, staying within points of each other the entire bout. From the start it was all hit-it-and-quit-it, with the lead jammers getting their points and calling off the jam, doing what they could to prevent the opposing jammer from scoring. The Bombshells took the lead early and often at the beginning but were quickly taken over by the Dot’s strong walls.

There were five lead changes in the first half including one with the Bombshells on a power jam. That was immediately followed by the Dots gaining four points tying the game 39-39. By half time, SVRG claimed the lead 48-39.

Silicon Valley kept racking up points in the second half but the Bombshells took advantage of their power jams to stay in the game. With 8:51 to go and a score of 97-78, the Dot’s Smack Dahlia took advantage of a power jam bringing the score to 107-78.

In the last jam, SVRG’s jammer was in the box giving the Bombshells’ Candy Hooligan a power jam. Nevertheless, the Dots held their own and Sasha Degrader was able to get in a big hit on Candy before she was able to call off the jam. Although the Bombshells fought strong and hard to the end, the Dot.Kamikazes won 112-99.

Sasha Degrader was named MVP of the game for the Dot.Kamikazes and Shamrock N. Roller for the Bombshells.

SVRG’s KillaBytes vs. SCDG’s Harbor Hellcats

Ladies in Green from Left to Right: Culo Whip, LauRAWR, Jem Jones, and Juicy K. Tore, ©2012 Derek P. Opdyke

©2012 Derek P. Opdyke, DPO Photography,
Ladies in Green from Left to Right: Culo Whippin’, LauRAWR, Jem Jones, and Juicy K. Tore

The Killas and the Hellcats were as closely matched as the Dots and the Bombshells making for an equally exciting bout. The jammers took turns taking the lead with the help of strong packs on both teams.

During jam 11, Killa’s jammer Bad Tempt-Her made such an amazing powerhouse move out of the pack that a spectator was overheard saying, “It’s like she just shot out of a gun!”

In the following jam, Polly Kneesya of the Hellcats jammed against Skirt Vonna-Gut of the Killas. Polly got lead while Skirt went to the box causing a lead change 38-34 in favor of the Hellcats.

In jam 14 Culo Whippin’, one of the newest additions to the KillaBytes, beautifully executed a block and whip assist to get her jammer Mongoose through a wall of three blockers. The Hellcats were in the lead 54-37 at the end of the first half.

In the second half, Bad Tempt-Her was able to take out the Hellcat’s jammer Septicemia so Lizapalooza could take lead jammer, but Bad ended up in the penalty box in the process.

Thanks to a grand slam by Mongoose, the Killas were able to bring the score closer by jam 6, putting them only 7 points behind the Hellcats.

The lead change came in jam 8 with Zootown Throwdown getting a grand slam bringing the score to 60-59. Then quickly the tables turned as the Killa’s jammer was sent to the box and the Hellcats retorted with a grand slam of their own taking back the lead 69-60.

Killa’s Culo Whippin’ made her jammer debut against Polly in jam 11 forcing Polly to call the jam with no points scored by either jammer.

The following jams were tight but the Killas worked their way up the scoreboard. By jam 18 the Killas took the lead with a score of 87-81 but the Hellcats were still putting up a fight.

With 20 seconds left and a score of 91-89, Bad Tempt-Her and Septicema met on the jammer line for the final jam of the night. Bad got lead and called it off, keeping the final score at 91 KillaBytes – 89 Hellcats.

Jem Jones was named MVP of the bout for the Killas and Ace Wenchura for the Hellcats. The energy, excitement, and hard work exhibited by all the girls promises a season of fierce battles. You won’t want to miss a single bout!

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KillaBytes Make a Strong Showing in Sonora

Will this be the season of 2-point nail-biters? It was clear from the start that the February 25th battle between SVRG’s KillaBytes and High Country Mountain Derby Girls’ Hell Cats was a close contest, with the Killas and the Hell Cats taking turns at lead jammer status. Bad Tempt-Her and Skirt Vonna-Gut (formerly known as Newton’s Slaughter) started the night off with 15-point power jams in the 2nd and 4th jams respectively. Both sides were dishing out and taking some big hits, but no one was stopping SVRG’s LauRAWR! By the end of the first half, SVRG was barely holding the lead, 92-90.

Skirt Vonna-Gut Takes a Hit by Russell Reno Limprecht

©2012 Russell Reno Photography, Skirt Vonna-Gut Takes a Hit

SVRG’s 2nd half was about keeping the Hell Cats from putting numbers on the score board. The Hell Cats were ahead by one point (108-107) in the 5th jam, but a lead change put the Killas back on top (126-110) by the 9th. The score continued to leapfrog as both teams nickel and dimed their way to the lead.

With just 19 seconds left, the game was within a point (154-153 Hell Cats). The clock was ticking down in the final jam, the crowd was going wild, and in a last-minute zebra huddle, the referees decided a final score of 155-153 in favor of the Hell Cats. Solid teamwork like this promises a great season ahead for the Killas.

Scabbie with her Zuca bag, photo by Sarah Gendler

Absolutely Scabulous, with Züca travel bag in tow, arrives at High Country Sports Arena, Photo by Surge

Shout out to our travel team sponsor, Züca!

SVRG is grateful for Züca’s generous donation to our travel fund for the past three seasons! And what more could a derby girl ask for in a travel bag? The aluminum frame can hold up to 300 lbs., so it’s a sturdy seat when you need it. Sasha Degrader uses the handy drawers as a tool box, and mesh side pockets let your gear breathe. The wheels not only glow in the dark but also flash for higher visibility. Whether we’re on the road, in the air, or off to practice, it’s easy to haul our derby gear around in Züca bags!

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Skater of the Month: LauRAWR!


©2011 Donalee Eiri, Photography by D.E.sign

What attracted you to roller derby?
I’m not sure. I was in grad school and wanted to do something athletic and fun.

Did you skate or play another sport before starting derby?
I hadn’t skated since I was a kid, but I felt like a super star when I was able to skate five laps around the track without stopping. I had a long way to go! In terms of other sports, I was always into different sports as a kid and teenager. I played soccer, softball, water polo, and was on the swim team.

How did you choose your derby name?
I really liked the idea of having a derby name with my real name in it so that I wouldn’t have to learn to answer to something new. I was hanging out with my BFF Tots and I drew a T-Rex on a piece of cardboard with a word bubble that said “LauRawr,” she started calling me it and it stuck. She kept the drawing and called it “the first dinosaur.”

What’s your favorite (derby) position?
I like to block, particularly to bust up walls as an offensive player.

What are you known for on the track? What’s your superpower?
Probably my positional blocking skills and derby brain. I like to know my rules, scout other teams, and pick apart strategy. I think it’s important to see the whole picture of the structured chaos that makes up derby, not just one side of it.

Tell us about your greatest derby experience.
Wow, that’s a lot of pressure! All derby has been pretty great. There are lots of little moments, like being able to hold my own against a really tough blocker, head reffing my first junior bout, being paid a compliment by a great skater…I think this category is never ending, there are always more experiences to be had.

Describe your gnarliest injury.
During my very first bout with SVRG, I was standing up from a fall and stumbled a little bit so I steadied myself with my hand and fractured my thumb. I didn’t realize it was broken so I still played the rest of the game and dunked it in a cup full of Taco Bell ice on the car ride home. I finally had to accept it was broken when my fiancé made me go to the hospital a week later because I wouldn’t use my right hand to do anything.

What do you contribute to SVRG *off* the track?
I’m the Killas Co-Captain so I spend a lot of time with Spankin’ Firecracker, my captain, working on strategies, motivating skaters, and promoting teamwork. I’m also head of SVRG 2.0 Junior Derby (Go Jerbs!) and head ref of the junior ref program. I try to give as much of my time to the league as possible because I am happy to support an organization that has given me so much.

When you’re not skating, how do you pass the time? What other passions do you have?
Well, in the professional world I am a librarian. In my private life I like to eat ice cream sandwiches with my bestie Tots, tease my honorary derby siblings (LiLo, Jonny D., and Ted W. Spin), listen to alt comedy podcasts, lift weights, run, eat pizza, dance at ska shows, watch nerdy TV shows like Buffy, watch Paul Newman movies, look at comic books, and spend time with my fiancé GilBurrito.

Who are your heroes of roller derby?
I like all the greats; Sassy (from Oly) has pretty amazing butt skills and Wild Cherri (Gotham) rocked at champs. Honestly though, I have some pretty savage peeps on my team who have supported me and helped me become a better skater. My mentors Catherine Beata Bones and Lindsay Lohanded amaze me every time I see them play.

Can you offer any advice to people who are interested in derby?
Go for it. Like, seriously. If you want to be even decent at this, it is going to take a ton of hard work and if you half ass it you will never get to the place you want to be. This means you are going to have to spend your off time working out. You are going to have to be objective about your own abilities. You are going to have to be humble and learn from people who intimidate or frustrate you. If you truly give 100% (don’t rationalize giving any less), then you’ve got this.


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Derby 2.0 and KillaBytes, April 2nd

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ Derby 2.0 Host Debut Home Bout with the KillaBytes on Saturday, April 2nd!

The Silicon Valley Roller Girls, have a new show in town: Derby 2.0. The league’s newest team, made of young derby girls aged 7 to 17, is a striking new phenomenon that has gained popularity with their recent NBC News coverage.

The junior derby skaters, affectionately called ‘jerbs,’ are very excited about their debut home bout against Sacramento’s junior derby league on Saturday, April 2nd. Headlining the event are SVRG’s KillaBytes, who will be taking on the Battle Borne Derby Demons. The event will kick off at 5:30pm at San Jose Skate, located at 397 Blossom Hill Road in San Jose.

Fans are encouraged to get their tickets before they sell out, as SVRG regularly sells out their 1,000+ capacity in advance of most games. Tickets are on sale now at San Jose Skate, Streetlight Records, and Psycho Donuts (Campbell & Downtown) and online at Brown Paper Tickets.

A portion of the proceeds from the bout will be donated to Career Closet, a local nonprofit that provides professional work attire for women in need. They will also be accepting donations of gently-used professional business clothing, accessories, and handbags at the event.

Come and show your support for your local derby girls by donning your green and black. For more details about the bout and SVRG, click on over to our website.

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