Monthly Archives: March 2010

SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes win the Dustbowl Invitational!!

Silicon Valley represents! Photo: Jim Cottingham

That’s right, SVRG skated in their first tournament ever this weekend, and they dominated!

On Saturday, they played four 20-minute games in their pool, securing four wins. First, the Dot.Kamikazes defeated hosts Derby Revolution of Bakersfield 42-14. Next, they blew out Central California Area Derby 88-9. Then, they faced their BFFs from over the hill, the Santa Cruz Derby Girls, and triumphed 68-12. In their last pool play game, they faced tough competition from Arizona Roller Derby, but SVRG came away victorious, 45-31.

Left: MisTits and Rot Wheels render a Sac jammer hapless. Right: Pia Mess lives up to the offer stated on her booty shorts and gives the jammer a free ride. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Sunday, SVRG entered competition as the top seed. Sunday’s play featured 30-minute games. They faced Santa Cruz again, whom they beat 80-22. In the final round, they were set to play the Sac City Rollers, who had defeated Tucson. The Dots dominated Sac City, 170-100, to win their first ever tournament!

Left: Scait Riot lays into a Sac jammer; Right: Kimfectious hits so hard you can't see straight. Photos: Jim Cottingham

Special congratulations to MisTits, who was named Best Blocker, and Smash ‘n’ Burn, who earned MVP. Way to rock it, ladies!

Left: MisTits accepts her Best Blocker award, presented by Timothy Jordan, announcer extraordinnaire. Left: Smash 'n' Burn is delighted to win MVP of the tourney. Photos: Jim Cottingham

We would like to thank our **amazing** coaches, Panda, LTO, and Pia Mess, for whipping SVRG into tourney shape. Thanks to the refs and NSOs for their hard work. Thanks to all of the SVRG fans who traveled to Bako to show their support. Thank you to the ladies of Bakersfield for hosting an amazing tournament!

Thanks to Jim Cottingham for capturing all the glory! You can see his pics from the tournament here.

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Skater of the Month: Absolutely Scabulous

AbScab gives Bones a whip to free her from the pack. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela.

How do I love AbScab? Let me count the ways. This woman is a go-getter in every sense of the word and has committed herself to the league 100%. She is the person you cross your fingers and hope to get in your group or on your scrimmage team because you know her enthusiasm is going to keep you going and get you in a good place no matter what. She recently debuted in her first bout for the KillaBytes in March. Her solid, clean play, teamwork, and endurance meant she skated in over 50% of jams–amazing! Off the track, as Head of Bout Production, she puts in a zillion woman-hours making sure our bouts run smooth like butter. We are lucky to have such a font of energy, ideas, and achievement in the league. I heart you!

How did you get into roller derby?

Last April, I had found a flier at a local coffee shop and was totally intrigued. I had just moved to San Jose from San Francisco and was feeling some serious girlfriends-withdrawals. I was tired of running and swimming alone, and doing solo sports, so I decided to check out a bout and attended the annual burlesque show. The skaters were total rock stars out there—I knew I wanted to be one too! I joined bootcamp in July and have totally been sippin’ on the derby Kool-Aid ever since.

What kind of skating skills or athletic abilities did you have before starting derby?

I’m huge into playing sports—I love the ocean and have always been a really strong swimmer. I completed a marathon, triathlons, and even was a cheerleader in college. Surprised? I didn’t think so. Skating wise, my mom was a serious ice skater and I always wanted to be like her, so I did some ice skating growing up. She still has the fierce legs I hope to have one day too.

How did you derive your derby name?

The infamous British Sitcom “Absolutely Fabulous” (add a Scab)…the short and dirty of the show:  two immature, chain-smoking, alcoholic, prosperous but preposterous substance-abusing fashion and fad-obsessed Londoners who value fame and style over substance. My vices instead are Diet Coke and overdraft charges.

What is your primary position?

It’s evolving as I learn the sport and the coaches and teammates learn my style. I had a scab-solute blast playing 3 in my first game and knocking the San Diego jammer on her arse. Best. Feeling. Ever.

What is your greatest strength as a skater?

I try to be totally positive, reliable and hardworking. I want my teammates to trust me both on and off skates. That, and I try to keep up with Dollface and Pia’s endurance.

What has been your greatest experience on the rink?

There was nothing more gratifying than being told that I get to go in. Every time. I was thrilled to simply play. And so grateful for the generous play-time I got in my very first bout.

What is your worst injury and how did you earn it?

LOL, see this Hall of Pain.

Who’s your biggest fan(s)?

I don’t know if I have a fan base yet besides my family. But if I did have a fan section, they could call themselves the Crabby Scabbies. [Ed.’s note: This is better than the Scabby Crabs, which are decidedly not welcome on the rink.]

Who do you like to partner up with on the track?

Betta, Bozo, and I always gravitate toward each other in practice—but so far on the track, I love taking orders from Knuckles, Booty, and Ms. Fox!

What are you looking forward to the most this season?

Skating. Bouting. Laughing. In that order.

Roller derby: does it get you dates or deter them?

Dollface taught me that by putting “roller derby” in my online dating profiles you can sell more tickets to bouts. I’m totally not above doing this. So in a way, yes. You can come to my games if that counts as a date.

What do you contribute to SVRG off the track?

¼ of the season DEEP into planning our bouts. From the tickets you purchase online, to the butt pads you sit on in the VIP section, I lead the coordination for our home games. You’ll have to attend the next three home bouts to see what I have up my sleeve/elbow pad!

I know you work your ass off for SVRG. That’s why I nominated you. Why don’t you spill a little on how all your derby work occupies your life?

I was printing off some signage the Friday before the last bout on my work printer, specifically “Bathroom Priority Goes to Skaters and Refs,” and didn’t pick it up in time off the printer. I had an awesome explanation to my co-workers as to why Skaters and Refs should get bathroom preference at our workplace.

How do you spend the non-derby part of your life?

My day job is workin’ hard for the money at a social gaming company, Playdom, as an Executive Assistant. When I got new skates last month, I put them on and wore them under my desk while I did work. I also have a spunky little puparoni named Chloe the Monster (no kidding, that’s her registered AKC name).

What’s the one piece of advice you would give women interested in playing roller derby?

Be patient with yourself and the learning process. This is a sport NO ONE knows how to play. And add 8 wheels to that confusion and it’s a long, hilarious, challenging journey of learning to play the sport.

What can we anticipate for the next SVRG home bout? What is going to be the raddest part about it?

First and foremost, the Killas are going to kill-it. I am so proud to be a KillaByte and can’t wait to play again with this talented group of skaters. And of course, there will be some pirate debauchery from one of our superfans, Mic Skallywag and his gaggle of pirates! Sword fights, a live pirate band, and maybe if you’re lucky, some pirate booty!

The rock star we know and love. Photo: Jim Cottingham

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Hall of Pain: Fox takes one to the face

No, I don't like The Cure.

OK, I have two admissions to make: one, I named this post based on search engine potential; and two, thankfully, *very* thankfully, our Hall of Pain has been relatively barren so far this season (that sound you hear is my knuckles pounding on my IKEA desk, which is hopefully real wood) and since this was my face, I can say I’m stretching the whole pain part. Given my previous life in kickboxing and barroom brawling, I hardly earned this black eye, but heck, it was real purdy so I figured I’d post it.

Please note the Goth pose was adopted so that you could actually distinguish the black eye from the eye that merely has swollen, pronounced bags underneath it thanks to the recent procurement of my dissertation and the requisite inversely proportional relationship between maniacal editing and sleep.

Anyway, I took an elbow to the face in the pack, but subsequent blindness meant I never caught sight of who did it, just a vision of an arm coming at my face and me turning just enough not to catch it on the nose (Feisty Irish, who has been featured in the Hall of Pain for her two broken noses a la derby, sympathized on that angle.) I was inclined to blame Lindsay Lohanded, who might as well have her own branding iron given the bruises her hits tend to elicit (not to mention CynTax’s broken ribs), but unfortunately she was off the track at the time, so I am in need of a culprit. Alas, now I have a variety of purples (with very little in the wardrobe to coordinate), a boyfriend who is hesitant to go out in public with me, and a lot of explainin’ to do to my dissertation committee. Oh well, maybe it will inspire a bit of mercy.

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Hear some live music & support SVRG @ Fat Cats!


The Silicon Valley Roller Girls are hosting an all ages show at Fat Cats in Sunnyvale this Saturday, March 20. Doors are at 7, there is a $7 cover, and you get to see Pop Murder, Falling to Pieces, From the Fog, and Rapid Fire (whom you may have caught at our March 6 bout). All door proceeds go to the league, so come enjoy some live music and hang out with your favorite roller girls!

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San Diego Hard Corps inch past KillaBytes, 108-105; Dot.Kamikazes quell the Dockyard Derby Dames, 158-88

Bitch Puddin' (right back) gives Mauly Anna (right front) some extra momentum as she goes in for the hit on San Diego jammer Blur D'Lee. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela

Wow, for those of you who couldn’t make our doubleheader on Saturday, you missed an amazing night of roller derby!

First up, the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ KillaBytes faced off against San Diego’s Hard Corps. In December, members of SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes and KillaBytes had traveled to San Diego to play a scrap bout (i.e., an unofficial bout where whomever can go and play does) with a hybrid of their A and B teams and ended up losing in the last moments of the bout. Given San Diego’s stellar level of play, the Killas were looking forward to hosting them on SVRG’s home turf. The KillaBytes were also very excited to debut three new skaters who graduated from bootcamp at the end of last season and were skating in their very first bout: Absolutely Scabulous, Bozo Disposo, and Catherine Beata Bones.

Top image: Bozo Disposo, Sadie Mae Gutz, Absolutely Scabulous, and pivot BootyVicious wall up. Bottom: Why, they look so sweet on the line! Belle Ringer, Sadie, Mauly Anna, and Double Knuckles pose for a family portrait. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham

San Diego started strong, setting the tone for the first half. They repeatedly contained the Killa blockers as their jammers raced through the pack. In the first half, San Diego jammers dominated the Killa jammers, securing lead 11 of 19 jams and taking control of the point spread. The Killa jammers, whose collective endurance lends itself to serious pack-lapping at times, never managed to get into the double digits in a single jam in the first half, although CynTax deftly maneuvered through a 9-point jam. In contrast, San Diego jammers Blur D’Lee (2 10-point jams) and Heidi Evidence (13-pt and 9-pt jams) racked up serious points, giving the Hard Corps a 62-38 lead by the end of the first half.

Left: Retox Fox and Catherine Beta Bones tag team the San Diego jammer; Right: Beth Sentence puts some booty into it to control the jammer.

The Killas reconfigured at halftime, but were still struggling into the fifth jam, when Blur D’Lee racked up a 20-point jam and the San Diego bench went wild at their 40 point lead, 91-51. The cheering made its way to the KillaBytes, and somewhere in that moment the tide turned. The Killas managed to turn up their offense and their defense simultaneously. Sadie Mae Gutz, Belle Wringer, and Retox Fox doled out big hits at the back of the pack and kept the Hard Corps jammers contained or on the floor. Captain Knuckles DeVille, BootyVicious, and Beth Sentence smartly controlled the front of the pack, teaming up with Mauly Anna, Bitch Puddin’, Spankin’ Firecracker, Absolutely Scabulous, Bones, and Bozo Disposo to optimize the Killa jammers’ scoring via offensive blocking and a few power whips.

The rookies rocked it last night! Absolutely Scabulous assists Catherine Beta Bones, who had the KillaBytes' highest scoring jam at 17 points.

The Killas kept the Hard Corps scoreless for six consecutive jams, recovering those 40 points and then some to pull ahead 96-91. Catherine Beata Bones shined in her debut bout, racking up the Killas’ highest scoring jam of the night at 17 points. Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown laid down a 10-point jam, and Beth Sentence, making her debut as a jammer, secured an 11-point jam. Double threat BootyVicious and CynTax rounded out the jamming rotation.

Left: Killas Co-Captain Zootown Throwdown sneaks past PT Bruiser. Photo Credit: Jim Cottingham. Right: Captain Knuckles DeVille crushes Summer Crush. Photo Credit: Adrian Valenzuela.

With 1:37 left on the clock, the game was tied 99-99. The coaches sent out their strongest packs for what appeared to be the final showdown, and Zootown Throwdown took the line against Blur D’Lee—a faceoff of the two skaters who would eventually be named their respective team’s MVPs. Killas Knuckles, Sadie, Belle, and Fox contained the nimble Blur as Zoo zipped through the pack and secured lead jammer. The Killa jammer made a full scoring pass and started on another before calling off the jam with 37 seconds left on the clock. Zoo pulled six points as the Killa pack held Blur scoreless, pushing the Killas into the lead, 105-99. The home crowd screamed as the points appeared on the scoreboard, but the Killas would have to hold down the fort for one more jam. Right off the line, the Hard Corps mapped a perfect strategy and were able to get Heidi Evidence lead jammer status. Knowing she had two minutes to work with, she raced through the pack twice and called off the jam after she hit the floor at the front of the pack. There were tense moments as the referees conferred and the scoreboard remained unchanged, but then the final score was announced. Heidi Evidence scored 9 points in the final jam, securing the win for San Diego. Although the Silicon Valley fans were disappointed at the loss, the thrill of the battle still had its rewards, and the Killas were congratulated for their amazing second half comeback. ‘Til we meet again, San Diego…

MisTits, walling up front with Postal Servix, helps Smash 'n' Burn clear the pack. Photo credit: Adrian Valenzuela

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating the faceoff against the Dockyard Derby Dames because one of their coaches, the infamous Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

Pia Mess multitasks, picking jammer T'erin Traxx off the line and clearing the path for Smack Dahlia. Photo credit: Jim Cottingham

The Dot.Kamikazes started strong and never let up. Smack Dahlia laid down a 9-point jam to kick off the game while the Dots’ pack never released Dakota D. Stroya to score. Although the Dames kept the margin close for much of the first half, the Dots never surrendered the lead, pulling ahead to 75-56 by halftime buoyed by two 9-point jams and a half-ending 13-point jam by Pia Mess.

Left: Rot Wheels helps clear the way for Smash 'n' Burn while Pia Mess eyes the Dockyard jammer. Credit: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Donna Diggler contains a Dame. Credit: Jim Cottingham.

Although the Dames’ T’erin Traxx and Rocky Hardplace made the pack significantly less jammer-friendly, the Dots’ offensive blocking cleared timely paths for their jammers while Rot Wheels, Death by Dollface, Pia Mess, and Lizapalooza (also a regular whip machine), kept a powerhouse defense at the back of the pack.

Left: Feisty Irish goes after a Dockyard jammer. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela. Right: Postal Servix and Kimfectious maintain a hard wall in front of the Dockyard jammer as Smack Dahlia sneaks up on the pack. Photo: Jim Cottingham.

Kimfectious, Feisty Irish, and Postal Servix, who all donned the pivot cap during the bout, Skooter Ov’r, and BootyVicious, fresh from the Killas game, filled out the pack. Donna Diggler connected on some vicious and crowd-pleasing hits. MisTits showed the crowd why her teammates recently crowned her Skater of the Month. As pivot, she nimbly switched from defense to offense, whipping her jammers out of the pack. After repeatedly flooring the Dames’ jammers, she directed them to what very may well be the least desired position on the track: having to re-enter the track, sans momentum, right behind Tits.

Smack Dahlia (58 pts.), Smash ‘n’ Burn (32 pts.), Pia Mess (43 pts.), Death by Dollface (5 pts.), and rookie Betta Watchit (20 pts.) filled out the jammer rotation. Pia Mess (7.17 points per jam) and Smack Dahlia (5.27 points per jam) impressively averaged over one scoring pass each jam. Smack proved to be the grand slam champ in the second half, earning lead jammer in every appearance and racking up a 13-pt., 2 10-pt, and an 8-pt jam. Donna Diggler and Kimfectious nobly stepped to the line for the final two jams, although both were held scoreless by a hard-hitting Dames’ pack. In the end, the Dots triumphed, 158-88.

Lizapalooza (off camera, to right) lends a helping hand to rookie Betta Watchit. Photo: Adrian Valenzuela

We would like to thank both of our opponent teams for traveling in from San Diego and Tacoma to come play us. Thank you to our amazing SVRG coaches: Pandamonium, who spends so much time off the track getting us in shape strategically; LTO, whose passion for coaching is communicated in every hand signal; Pia Mess, who whips us into such great derby shape; and Aim De Kill, who is cultivating the derby girls of tomorrow. We would like to thank our hardworking ref and NSO staff for keeping us all in line.

Special thanks to Jim Cottingham and Adrian Valenzuela for their photography and helping us share the glory with those of you who missed the bout. You can see Jim’s Killas photos here and Dots photos here; also check out his main page here, which includes some sweet galleries from Mavericks, aviation pics, and more. Adrian has Killas pics here and Dots pics here; you can also order prints from his website. (Hint: derby girls love them!)

And, as always, thanks to our friends, families, fans, sponsors, and other supporters for making this all possible!

The Dot.Kamikazes were anticipating this faceoff because the Dockyard Derby Dames’ coach, Hollywood Chuck Barry, had paid SVRG a couple of visits during the off season and put them through some strenuous conditioning and skills practices. The Dots wanted to prove to Chuck that their newly minted thighs of steel could hold up against the Dames’ Wave of Mutilation.

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SVRG season opener, Malice in Wonderland, SATURDAY!

Yes, we are sold out, but we will have a limited number of tickets available at the door ($15 adults, $8 kids) starting at 3 pm. Be aware that San Jose Skate takes CASH ONLY (there is an ATM in the adjoining parking lot).
Come in your wildest Wonderland wear or sport the black & green for S-V-R-G!!

Doors @ 5:30, KillaBytes vs. San Diego Hard Corps @ 6, Dot.Kamikazes vs. Dockyard Derby Dames @ 8. ROCK!

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Read another great article on saving San Jose Skate

Stephen Baxter at Silicon Valley Community Newspapers wrote a great article on the community issue of potentially losing our rink, San Jose Skate. Check it out here!

Stay tuned to this blog and http://saveourrink.blogspot.com for the latest news on our efforts!

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