SVRG double header a double triumph: KillaBytes bury the Undead Bettys and Dot.Kamikazes take down the Redwood Rollers

SVRG closed out a stellar season with double wins as the KillaBytes defeated the Brentwood Undead Bettys 155-104 and the Dot.Kamikazes beat the Humboldt Redwood Rollers 159-63.

The KillaBytes, who hadn’t played a home game since May, brought in the crowds for their second home bout during the 2009 season. Considering their last bout was in August, the team was reared up and ready to take on Brentwood’s Undead Bettys last Saturday.

Although the Killas and the Bettys had not yet faced off, some of the Killas had skated with the Bettys earlier in the season against the Santa Cruz Harbor Hellcats. In the spirit of sharing, some of the Santa Cruz women helped the Bettys fill out their roster for this bout. Don’t let the numbers fool, you, though; although the Bettys may have trouble fielding 14 of their own for an away bout, they have a strong core of skaters and the Killas knew they would be tough opponents.

Given the Bettys’ lineup of brutal blockers, including Lisafer, Luna Tix, and Cemetery Mary, the Killas’ theme for the night seemed to be “Help Your Jammer Out.”  After a close first half, the Killas had crept ahead of the Bettys, 76 to 61. The KillaBytes continued to employ a number of strategies that ensured that their jammers would get the support they needed to make it through the pack efficiently and put points on the board.

Left: Dirty Thirty and Texas ChanaSaw Massacre wall up. Right: Belle Wringer, Retox Fox, and Aim De Kill pin some Bettys to clear a route for Postal Servix (Photo credits: Nocklebeast).

These strategies resulted in several high-scoring, grand-slamming jams. Zootown Throwdown, who was named the KillaBytes’ MVP by the Bettys, threw down 84 points in 11 jams, including a 20-point jam in the second half. Postal Servix toed the line 12 times, bringing home 47 points, including a 15-point jam—a remarkable feat considering the fact that a) she had to roll right in to skate for the Dot.Kamikazes in the next bout;  and b) she skated through foot pain, and after the bout she discovered she had a fracture in her foot. (Servix is now in a walking cast and out for the remainder of the season.) CynTax skated in eight jams, putting 24 points on the board. Juicy K. Tore, who also skated with the Dot.Kamz, filled out the jammer rotation.

Top left: Belle Wringer clears the line for Zootown Throwdown (Photo credit: Nocklebeast); top right: Juicy K. Tore gives Postal Servix a helping hand (Boss Hogg). Bottom left: Retox Fox contains so CynTax clear the pack (Nocklebeast); Bottom right: Captain Aim De Kill whips Zoo to the front (Nocklebeast).

The indomitable Aim De Kill, Steffen Razor, and Double Knuckles DeVille managed the pack at pivot. Belle Wringer and Satan’s Kitten both made impressive outings in their second official bout for the Killas. Mauly Anna, Retox Fox, and Dirty Thirty also worked the pack. ChanaSaw Massacre returned to the rink with her signature snowplow after a long season of injury, including a broken hand and back issues. Sadie Mae Gutz  made the comeback of the season, playing in her first bout since giving birth to a baby girl (named, yes, Sadie) less than a month ago. Don’t tell me derby girls don’t LOVE LOVE LOVE this sport, folks: that is some serious commitment.

KillaByte Captain Aim De Kill announced her retirement.

And speaking of someone who has some serious LOVE LOVE LOVE for this sport, the KillaByte captain, Aim DeKill, announced her retirement  at the bout. Although she will not be skating next season, she will be taking an active role as a coach, helping our new class of bootcampers in the spring. All of the Silicon Valley Roller Girls want to thank Aim, our Mama Byte, for being such a remarkable and compassionate skater and friend. She truly embodies all that is the SVRG spirit.

Unfortunately, as is the way with derby, your reporter had to work during the Dot.Kamikazes bout, so my observations are here and there. Check out our announcer Killer Vee’s writeup here and her KillaBytes writeup here.

From what I could see, the Humboldt Redwood Rollers looked like a very coordinated and agile team. In the end, however, they were no match for the Dot.Kamikaze defense and power jamming. The stats show that, aside from Sissy Jr. scoring 13 points in the second jam, the Dot.Kamikaze pack prevented Humboldt’s jammers from ever making more than one scoring pass in a given jam. The Dot.Kam jammers frequently managed more than one scoring pass through the pack and often grand-slammed Humboldt. Pia Mess thrilled the crowd as she closed out the game with a 25 (arguably 30, as she was shooting through the pack as the whistle blew) point jam.

Here are some shots from the game:

Left: SKooter Ov'r eyes a Roller, while Lizapalooza takes out two blockers and the jammer singlehandedly, clearing the way for Dollface (Nocklebeast). Middle: MisTits makes a Roller into a Flyer. Right: Donna Diggler and Lindsay Lohanded pick off the Humboldt jammer.

Left: Smash 'n' Burn deftly stays in bounds. Middle: Smack Dahlia provides her own D. Right: Death by Dollface gets a monster whip from Pia Mess. (All photos: Boss Hogg).

SVRG’s last bout of the season: Doubleheader Nov. 14!

Our next home bout is Saturday, November 14, at San Jose Skate, 397 Blossom Hill Road, and you are in for a treat: it’s a doubleheader, so you will get to see both the Dot.Kamikazes AND the KillaBytes battle against Humboldt Roller Derby and the Undead Bettys, respectively. As always, there will be a raffle, beer garden, concessions, vendors, and half-time entertainment. We plan on ending the season with a bang!

Not only are you getting two bouts for the price of one, but we are also having a recession sale: tickets are only $10 in advance (kids: $5) or $15 at the door (kids: $7).What a bargain! Ten bucks for an entire night of DERBY! A portion of the proceeds from this bout will benefit Sacred Heart Community Service, a local organization that helps families and seeks to alleviate poverty in the South Bay.

Tickets are available online at Brown Paper Tickets or pick up paper copies at the locations below.  Get yours now!

Jack’s Bar & Lounge
167 E Taylor St
San Jose

Ohana Board Shop
3567 Stevens Creek Blvd
San Jose

Psycho Donuts
2006 Winchester Blvd # C
Campbell

San Jose Skate
397 Blossom Hill Road
San Jose

Streetlight Records (San Jose location only)
980 South Bascom Avenue
San Jose
You can read some preliminary scoop on the bout here at Killer Vee’s blog.

SVRG Dot.Kamikazes fall to Port City, 98-90

The Dot.Kamikazes put up a good fight at Port City last night, but came up just a few points short of victory. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make the bout and I didn’t have an onsite reporter for details. Here’s what I could glean from the post-bout chatter:

SVRG came into the bout with a bit of a disadvantage as the Dot.Kamikazes were down 2 of their jammers: Terribelle Demise was injured and Pia Mess had a last minute emergency. Thus, SVRG was without one of their strengths, a deep jammer bench. Given that the floor is particularly slippery, this meant an addtional challenge for the SVRG jammers, as they were also working hard all night to keep their speed while remaining upright. Port City demonstrated their hard hitting and solid jamming throughout the night, and the teams traded off advantage throughout the first half. At the end, SVRG had a slight lead, 53-51. Both teams rolled into in the second half ready to battle, but the Dot.Kamikazes gradually lost their wind, and Port City stayed strong and inched ahead, winning the bout by an 8-point margin.

If any attendees have details, please feel free to elaborate in the comments!

SVRG Hits of ‘09: Check out this video!

Check out this great set of clips of SVRG in action, some slammin’ hits and nasty spills, assembled by Cecil B. De Shill. The music you will recognize as our SVRG theme song by the Whiskey Avengers. Enjoy!

It’s all the more thrilling in person, so be sure to get your tickets to our last bout of the season on Nov. 14!

THANK YOU! SVRG Skate-o-thon raises over $9,000!

Friends, family, volunteers: what can we say. We are so thankful for your generosity. We were amazed by your outpouring of support. Thanks to you, we raised over $9,000 and will be able to maintain our schedule for the 2010 season. Here are some pictures and details from the Skate-o-thon in case you didn’t make it out to see us.

Far left: Costume contest winner Weavin' Kohl Bear as Cruella De Vil. Mid left: Bitch Puddin' was our #1 fundraiser as well as 2nd in our costume contest. Two jobs very well done! Mid right: Fox tied Puddin' for top number of contributors. Far right: CynTax garnered the largest donation to a single skater and also showed her jamming endurance as she skated the most laps.

Top 5 fundraisers:
1. Bitch Puddin: an astounding $1,110!!!
2. Death by Dollface: $595
3. Retox Fox:  $571.20
4. Rot Wheels: $560
5. Pia Mess: $494.07

Honorable mentions at 6 & 7: Smack Dahlia $440 &  new recruit Jayanti $439.99
Most Pledges:
Bitch Puddin’ and Retox Fox: 18 each- tie
Death by Dollface: 15
Rot Wheels and Jayanti: 12 each- tie

Most Laps:

CynTax: 315 (that’s nearly 24 miles in 2 hours, folks!)

Death by Dollface: 276

LTO: 273

Rot Wheels: 268

Retox Fox: 262

And most importantly, Best Costume went to Weavin’ Kohl Bear, who came as Cruella de Vil, complete with a dalmation-decorated skate to tow. She narrowly defeated Bitch Puddin’s SVRG-colored lucha libre getup.

My personal favorite costumes, sported by two of our top fundraisers: Rot Wheels as a pregnant nun and Pia Mess as an American Gladiator.

We would like to issue a special thank you to our top donors. #1 fundraiser Bitch Puddin’ wants to give an extra shout out to the patrons of Fred’s Place, Teskes, and Henry’s Hi-Life for their contributions. Thanks to CynTax’s employer, Sunol Valley Golf Club.  Thank you to Steve Wozniak for his continued support of the team as well as pledges that helped individual skaters reach their goals. And a  special thanks to our superfan Arcady, who came out to see us at the Skate-o-thon and pledged $400 right on the spot!!

Thank you, everyone, for helping the Silicon Valley Roller Girls keep skating!! Now, come see the fruits of your donations at our last home bout on November 14th!

SVRG’s Dot.Kamikazes to battle Port City in Stockton

Feeling like a road trip to Stockton? Come cheer on the Silicon Valley Roller Girls’ Dot.Kamikazes as they take on the Port City Rough & Ready Betties at the Stockton Fairgrounds on Saturday, October 24. Doors open at 7. You can buy tickets at Brown Paper Tickets.

Be sure to wear your lime-neon-SVRG green and your SVRG gear, because Port City’s colors are emerald green, white, and black!

October Skater of the Month: Pia Mess!!

Photo credit: Adrian Valenzuela

Pia Mess is a woman of many talents. She came to SVRG from Seattle’s Rat City Rollergirls (after a brief tenure with San Francisco’s ShEvil Dead) and has rocked our world as both player and coach. She is a terrifying blocker with the power to knock you on your ass and the agility to hover and cage you like an animal. She also frequently dons the jammer cap, and the combination of her speed, grace, and power often yields the highest scoring jams of the bout. Her wide-ranging talents on the track make her an effective coach, where her extensive experience helps cultivate SVRG’s strategies. She is also renowned for her killer endurance practices where many a Silicon Valley Roller Girl has fulfilled the motto, “Skate ’til you puke…and then keep skating.”

How did you get into roller derby?

I used to watch it on TV with my dad when I was around 6. Whenever anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say “a roller derby queen” (either that or a solid gold dancer). Here is a TV show they did about me.

What kind of skating skills or athletic abilities did you have before starting derby?

As for skating skills, I was just your average weekend rink rat. I did play soccer at a very high competitive level for about 32 years; I think that helped a lot.

How did you derive your derby name?

For the first 3 months of my derby career, I was actually “Jenna Taylia.”  But then I couldn’t figure out how I would explain that to my kids, so I came up with Pia Mess.

What is your primary position?

I think I play all positions equally well. [Ed. note: Truth! You should see this girl's stats!]

What is your greatest strength as a skater?

I bring 5 years experience, strategy, and track smarts. I am also good at playing mind games with competitors.

What is your favorite derby memory?

Winning Nationals with Rat City.

Pia skated with the Sockit Wenches and the Rat City All-Stars. Left, as a Sockit Wench (photo credit: Michael Coyote); right, as an All-Star (photo-credit: Joe Schwartz).

What kind of injuries have you incurred during your career?

I have dislocated my jaw twice. I have had one concussion, a torn PCL , lots of rink rash, and some of my SVRG teammates gave me a black eye.

Who are your favorite derby skaters?

A former league mate from Rat City, Carmen Getsome. She has mad skillz, determination, and athletisism. My other favorite is again a former Rat City teammate, Sassy Chassis. She is the nicest, happiest person I know.

Who’s your biggest fan?

I think I have 2. The first one is Lilly Lightning from the Seattle Derby Brats, and the second is my good friend Eric. [Ed. note: Pia is also the only SVRG skater with her own Facebook fan page.]

What’s your favorite thing about SVRG?

SVRG is like a second family to me.  I moved down here not knowing anyone and they were all sooo nice and so welcoming and took me under their wings. In turn, I kick their asses!  Derby Love

How do you spend the non-derby part of your life?

By day, I am a stay at home mom who runs a travel business out of my house. Need a vacation? I’ll hook you up!

Pia says farewell. Photo credit: Michael Coyote

Support SVRG’s Skate-O-Thon!

Just a reminder…we are in the final days of collection for the SVRG Skate-O-Thon, scheduled for this coming Monday. We could really use your help in meeting our goals! We are trying to raise money to cover our travel expenses for our away games next season. You can read more about our efforts here.

You can pledge a per-lap donation to an individual skater by contacting her individually, or visit our homepage to donate via PayPal. Through PayPal, you can make a team donation or support an individual skater’s efforts by writing her name in the comments when you make your donation. Some skaters are also on Facebook and have ChipIn on their profiles if you prefer to donate that way.

If you want to come see us, the Skate-O-Thon will be held Monday, Oct. 19 from 8-10pm. We will be in costume and we hope you’ll come decked out too! A $5 donation will get you in the door.  Rumor has it that some of our sister league from over the hill, the lovely Santa Cruz Derby Girls, will be joining us as well. Come mingle and cheer us on!

SVRG’s last recruitment of the season!

Don't fear, Terribelle Demise's injuries were sustained off track. Thankfully, she has Kimfectious and Postal Servix to protect her.

Do you think you have the stuff to rock & block with the Silicon Valley Roller Girls? If so, follow these five easy steps!

1. Read this article on the blog about how to get started with roller derby so you know what you’re getting into.

2. For some FAQs about recruitment, click here.

3. Contact Texas ChanaSaw Massacre at recruitment@svrollergirls.com if you are interested.

4. Come watch a practice before October 28th (ChanaSaw will give you details.)

5. Come ready to skate on Wednesday, October 28th, and join us at the recruitment meeting Sunday, November 1.

Any additional questions, please contact ChanaSaw at recruitment@svrollergirls.com . Hope to see you on the rink soon!

The Ultimate Guide to Choosing Your Roller Derby Name

So, you’ve decided you want to be a roller derby girl. You’ve gathered your gear, paid your dues, and you’ve been taking your hits on the fresh meat rink. You’re getting ready to graduate from bootcamp and join the big girls. You’re in it to win it—so the time has come to get yourself the perfect moniker. Choosing the right roller derby name is an art, so whether you’re brainstorming or narrowing down your choices, be sure to consider the following bits of advice.

1. Make it memorable. The most classic derby names are short, sweet, and have a pun that the general audience can follow. Often, names are plays off of female names. Personally, I think it’s hard to beat our own Pia Mess. All the better if your number plays into the joke too—Pia’s is 24/7.

2. Watch the spelling and pronunciation. In the day of search engines and decreasing spelling aptitude, consider how your name is pronounced and spelled. It should be as grammatically sensible as possible. If you pick something obtuse and difficult to pronounce, don’t blame the announcers when they mangle it at every bout or bitch at that one teammate who always seems to get it wrong no matter how many times you correct her—you did it to yourself.

3. Consider the length. You don’t want your name to be a mouthful. It will be a pain in the ass to fit it on your jersey, your helmet, and signs from your fans. If you’re the crafty type, you’re going to find yourself spending a small fortune paying for the extra letters. If you are insistent on a long name…

4. …be prepared for the nickname. SVRG’s MisTits picked her name because of her love of the band The Misfits and her fine rack. When we address her, though, it’s “Tits” or “Titties.” Fortunately, she has the swagger to pull it off—but if this is a fate you’re not prepared for, be sure to consider all the ways your name can be shortened. If there’s no logical way to shorten it to something cute and convenient, be prepared for people to give up and use your real name (which may or may not be what you prefer.)

5. Think twice about in-jokes. Really, this is a personal preference. If you and your friends think your name is clever and you like it, go for it—but expect to explain the whole story every time someone asks you where your name came from, and then be prepared for the blank look and disappointed “oh” when you’re done, because in-jokes aren’t nearly as funny with the out-crowd.

6. Don’t date yourself. Avoid slang and trends that are likely to fall out of fashion. Hell, you could be on skates for the next decade—so you don’t want to be stuck with the same kind of awkwardness as you feel now when your parents talk about bling. On the same note, if you’re looking to cop a celebrity name, be sure to stick to A-listers with durable careers. Gotham’s Beyonslay or Santa Cruz’s Angelina Rollie can rest assured their superstar names will stand the test of time, but if you play off of Heidi Montag, Kate Gosselin, or some American Idol, no one is going to get it once those famewhores’ 15 minutes are up.

7. Think about your rating. Would you rate your name PG, PG-13, or R? Consider your team’s norms and market—some are more conservative and family-oriented, whereas others limit their team and bouts to the 21+ crowd. Our team readily hosts Se7en Year Bitch and Bitch Puddin’, but if someone adopted the name Shitty McFuckface, eyebrows would be raised. Consider what people around you would think. If you blush at the thought of your grandparents, boss, kids, students, etc., finding out your derby name, then you better keep your fingers crossed they never come watch you play or see your jersey in the laundry pile.

8. Avoid similarity to other registered names, especially your teammates’. If your name is too similar to a registered one, there’s a good chance it will get rejected. Our own Secret Servix changed her name to Postal Servix because her name was too similar to a Colorado team. Be particularly careful not to choose something too close to a teammate’s name—not only do you not want to step on her toes or cramp her style, but more importantly, you don’t want to cause any confusion on the track when someone is hollering at you.

9. Try it out. Um, you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it, right? So, run it by your teammates. See if you can stand being called by it—this is also a good way to determine what the working (shortened) version is going to be.

10. Get it registered—and have a backup plan. Recently SVRG’s Smashleigh found out her name was never registered, and by the time it was submitted, it was too similar to another skater’s to be accepted. It may take your team’s designated name register-er a while to collect the list, and there is often a backlog on the site, so be prepared for the possibility of rejection based on duplication even if your name seemed unique at the time. Come up with a backup name that you also like, and don’t get too attached to your first choice until it’s final.